Fools are not offended

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Or how to adequately respond to rudeness

One of my acquaintances, a woman educated and well-mannered in all respects, during a period of latent family hysteria, when her husband almost openly began to walk to the left, was methodically harassed by his mistress. The girl had just graduated from school, in which, alas, she was not taught tact, youth gave the young person a certain redneck confidence and she called my friend every day to tell me something like the following: “You know, your husband loves me, we intend to tie our destinies. not needed. We sleep with each other every day! " The last sentence was emphasized with pride. Actually, my friend was good for a little girl in her mother for the years she lived, and according to the life experience she was in her great-grandmother, this very "you" touched most of all. The loving husband was not going to associate his fate with anyone else, since he had already tied her, and the result of this connection was two children. Explaining this state of affairs to his mistress, apparently, he did it very badly, since yesterday's schoolgirl continued to notify her legal spouse about her girlish plans for life.

In modern Russia, rudeness is found anywhere: from public transport to government (!) Institutions. Should I tell you about it. Chronic rudeness is especially annoying. For example, the guard of one student dormitory generously awarded all girls with brightly painted lips passing by with the title "Slut!" (sorry, I quote from the original source). On the girls' attempts to justify the outraged honor, she hung them up with no less offensive words and crowned her "verbal disgrace" by checking rooms in the spirit of "a la Gestapo" at three o'clock in the morning for finding young people peacefully sleeping under the bed. The commandant of the hostel closed his eyes to this so that the girls, apparently, did not seem like raspberries.

How do you answer such an outrage? Rudeness? Believe me, it doesn't get any easier. A watchman, a conductor, a drunken man and so on - a temporary phenomenon in your life, but the forces wasted on them still influence the duration of this very life. So how should you answer a rude person?

An uncertain reaction to outright rudeness, which was, for example, in a situation with an annoying mistress, happens when you do not expect "verbal nasty things" from someone's side. And what to do when a situation, as a result of which you are being "swapped" in full, arises, you cannot immediately figure it out. It remains to be silent and endure, but this does not eliminate the unpleasant sensation, because the boor rejoices - he has won a victory, achieved his goal. Often we ourselves give the offender an excuse with too soft behavior, insecurity. On such people, you can painlessly, as they say, pluck evil.

The counterattack, unfortunately, also does not relieve irritation, and the offender has again achieved his goal. In such a situation, psychologists advise, restrain yourself, wait a while to find a worthy answer and allow yourself the most advantageous reaction - a confident one. Back to my friend. Realizing that throwing up a scandal with her husband over the calls of her mistress is useless and detrimental to the family, while this offender should be, she gained patience. When once again the rival began to repeat with the stubbornness of a stuck record: "We sleep together!"I am glad that my Igor at 43 has excellent potency. After he comes home, he sleeps with me. I am calm for his health and strength. But lately he has been complaining about your inexperience. Come visit, I will share with you women's secrets!"

In response, the "kid" mumbled something and hung up. She did not call again, because her fantasy, apparently, did not manage to come up with anything wiser. A confident reaction helps to be above the hurt and devalue it. It is also important to take into account not the fact of resentment itself, but what is behind it. Often, some kind of human experience translates into nervousness and irritation, leading to rudeness in communication with others. In such a situation, it is more useful for everyone to respond to rudeness something like this: "I know that you did not want to offend me. Your problems make you annoyed, which is why I will not answer you in kind. If you need my advice, you can ask for it. ! " Such a reaction is considered aerobatics, without prejudice to oneself, to help another to get rid of negative emotions.

However, all advice is meaningless if you have to deal with chronic rude people. Here, no poultices can help, and there is only one way out: to protect yourself from such people. Both literally and figuratively. Just get around. And if they collided nose to nose, treat it with humor. Or perceive a boor exclusively as a sick person. You can only allow yourself pity regarding his unpleasant person.