Kindergarten as an alternative to the Gestapo

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Dear mothers and fathers, I ask you not to send your children to kindergarten. This way, you guarantee the safety of your nerves and your baby's nerves.

Not very deep knowledge in psychology still allows me to conclude that it would be better (for my nervous system and the same system of my parents) I was not taken to kindergarten. Here are the brightest memories of my kindergarten childhood:

The morning began with hysteria. I rolled it up to my parents, as I understand now, out of revenge for being taken to kindergarten.

- Sasha, please, darling, put on tights, otherwise we are late … - begged my mother, removing the curlers.

Pantyhose flew to my mother under my scream.

- Bunny, put on tights, I'll give you a candy when you come home, - the grandmother persuaded.

I made a happy face for a minute to get the candy right now. And then he pulled tights with a howl over his head.

- Sasha, - the sister entered the third violin, - I won't give my markers any more !!!

But it was impossible to take me by blackmail. Oh, won't you? Well hold on! And then I demonstrated, through howls and tears, my knowledge of profanity, which I overheard on the staircase by the door, where three alcoholics lived as a friendly family.

Mom, grandmother, sister took turns fainting.

After I had a lot of arrogance over the elders, dad burst into the room and, knitting his eyebrows menacingly, let me know that none of my numbers would work with him.

My sister used to take me to the garden on the way to school. I resisted so much that it turned out as if she was dragging me along the ground.

The jokes with the Soviet educators were bad. I am still convinced if today there were competitions in cruelty between the Gestapo guards and my educators, the latter would have won by a significant margin.

In the preparatory group, for example, it was strictly forbidden to sleep at sleep-hour with a pacifier in the mouth. And I could not part with her until the first grade. (Such is the delay in the oral stage). And I had to cover myself with a blanket to satisfy my essentially childish need. Sometimes the teacher, seeing that I was sleeping strangely, came up and pulled this blanket off me. Then my secret was revealed and she began to shake me with such force, as if I was about to throw off my skates. I woke up in fright and could not understand why she had such big eyes!

Some boys molested girls at sleep-hour. We sleep in one room. Adults, obviously, think that children do not yet discriminate between sex. And so the boys quietly sneak up on the girls to lift the blanket and see - and how are they? Waiting for the brightest moment, the teacher flew into the room, put the culprits on the bunks, took off their panties and woke up all the girls so that they could see …

And you say the first sexual experience? That's where all the problems with THIS come from!

I experienced true happiness when my ancestors appeared in the corridor in the evening to take me home. The clothes were removable and before putting on what I came in, I arranged the second part of the "Marlezon ballet" with tights. It was, I repeat, revenge for being placed in a madhouse. And deserved revenge …

You, of course, will laugh and do everything as before, take the child tomorrow to a kindergarten (although now Russian, but still soviet) … However, please pay attention to the last line of my simple memories.

ALL THIS IS NOT ANOTHER!

Alexander Maksimovsky