It's hard to be a mom

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Sometimes it seems that motherhood is like a territory without rules, in which every mother has to gropingly have to look for the right ways and solutions. But how do you know what is really true? What is the measure of truth: the opinion of a doctor, your own mother, or yours? Perhaps the following postulates will help you avoid chaos and confusion.

Nobody has the right to tell you what to do with your own child. Neither a psychologist, nor a pediatrician, nor an upstairs neighbor. There are no universal recipes and that's it! In everything related to the upbringing and development of children, it is advisable to suppress statements like: "A child should be able to do this and that …", "A good mother must be such and such …" Some kind of direct trap !

How many people, so many opinions, and it’s just a nightmare if they all begin to teach life and see if you look after your child correctly, love and care for him. "Are you swaddling him? What are you ?! Stop immediately, you will disturb his psyche, he will grow up to be a lack of initiative!" He will scare himself with his hands! He will have crooked legs "! It's just a minefield of some kind: there is lack of initiative, there are crooked legs, and what to do? Relax, stop rushing around and act the way you want and feel comfortable for your child. And if we talk about the medical aspect, then take the time and effort to find a good specialist, and only then trust him!

Use common sense and trust your intuition. You should not rush from one extreme to another. Let common sense save you from fanaticism and a kind of sectarianism in the matter of education. And intuition will tell you a universal, only suitable option for you.

Any woman has this invaluable gift from birth. This special instinct is "smarter", wiser and more reliable than the most proven, highly accurate and scientific way of knowing. After all, your baby has lived with you in close contact for 9 months. Who, if not you, know what she needs. Yes, the baby was born, and the umbilical cord between you disappeared, but the connection, a kind of "spiritual umbilical cord", remained and will remain for life.

How to understand if this is intuition? Intuitive sensations arise unexpectedly, like an inspiration, when suddenly you clearly understand that this is so and not otherwise. For example…

The kid is capricious in the morning, they looked at him, the thought: "It seems he caught a cold." And yesterday's picture immediately pops up before your eyes, how you got caught in the rain and came home with wet feet. Following the picture is the thought: "We need to give him hot tea and let him sit at home today." As you can see, intuitive insight depicts the whole situation as a whole: what is with the child, the reasons and what to do. But if you have become a "victim" of your own fears, doubts and hyper-anxieties, the picture will be completely different. First, there will be no clear pictures or advice flashing through your mind. It will be like the stupid throwing of a butterfly planted in a jar: "Maybe he got sick? Has his feet got wet? Has a cold? Ate something wrong and his tummy hurts? What to do, what to do? Call the doctor? So there is no temperature … Mom, friend Svetka? Or not? Maybe give him a pill? And if he is not sick, but simply not in the mood? " This is how obsessive (and often false) ideas work. Note that there is no answer to the question of what is happening with the baby, and it is not clear what to do next and whether to do it at all.

Intuitive "prompts", as a rule, appear once, and always carry a call to action: you noticed that your usually noisy fidget in the morning is sluggish and sad, what is the reason - a kind of request went along the "umbilical cord", and through for a short time the answer was "highlighted". In the second case: the mother was puzzled by the problem - a request was sent, he tries to return, but they do not hear him, the questions are driven back and forth along the connecting thread, and the returned data are analyzed from the point of view: what would the doctor say in this case? What would a neighbor, friend …

Respect your child. Yes, yes, him, a little sniffling lump or a "researcher" swarming in the sandbox, who does not even pronounce the letter "r", but already claims your respect. Eastern philosophers generally advise treating your own child as … a gift. He is your gift, given from above, personality, albeit small, but real! He has his own interests and desires, even in spite of the unspoken letter "r". Each of them, our children, has its own plan, idea, "seed" from which a flower will grow. And most importantly, do not interfere with his development! How can you prevent it? Well, for example, imposing my own worldview, my own desires ("I may not have succeeded in becoming a doctor, but my child will definitely be one"), ideas about what he should be.

Create an environment for the "seed" … Let's think about what our little one needs first of all:

- to be loved! Unconditional mother's love is the basis of the foundations! "I accept you for who you are. And I love you no matter what!";

- to satisfy his biological needs: food, sleep, fresh air. The little one is absolutely helpless, and completely depends on the mother, who will feed, and sing a lullaby, and take him out for a walk. The older the baby becomes, the less he is dependent on his mother;

- to ensure his safety, that is, the space that we provide to the baby for life and knowledge of the world should be safe for him;

- stay in a "nutrient" environment. It is necessary to nourish the child's cognitive abilities. This is not really what is called education, an early development school, or a group of young geeks. The child's knowledge is limitless. Our task is to provide him with a range of opportunities to realize it, and the wider the spectrum, the better. It is necessary to create an environment from which he will choose what he needs and is interested in. And it is desirable that there are no distortions in one thing: for example, only early development, or we draw, but do not dance … "Look, you can draw with a brush, but you can do it with your fingers, pencils, crayons …". And it is not necessary that all the "educational" programs be dealt with by the mother. In general, the nutrient medium also implies that you allow the child to communicate with a large number of people who can give him something. Let the child see, learn, get to know people with different worldviews, lifestyles. This will allow him not to be confined only to the family and what is accepted by you, but will greatly expand his horizons.

- so that mom is happy! Another axiom: "Happy mom - happy child." By the way, this is one of the reasons why you shouldn't keep your family for the sake of your child … Be happy!