How to allow yourself to be happy

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Everyone, without exception, wants to experience happiness. And only a few can do it.

And we are not talking about a select circle of people who have money, villas, yachts and so on. It is likely that the happiest person in the world has nothing more luxurious than an ordinary bed and two old stools. He just allows himself to be happy, and most of us are not.

123RF / Alena Ozerova

For some reason, we believe that the enjoyment of life must be earned, as if it is not given to anyone just like that, and the path to it always lies through thorny thorns. And experiencing genuine joy, we fearfully think: “Why do I need this? Where is the catch?"

This is the main problem - it is not enough to achieve something or get what you want in order to be happy. One must also be able to truly accept this happiness. By independently putting psychological blocks in our consciousness - fears, doubts, disbelief, complexes, we do not allow ourselves to recklessly and childishly enjoy life. In the end, we become even more unhappy because of the understanding: we ourselves are to blame for everything. In general, a vicious circle. How to get out of it? How to allow yourself to be happy?

Stop looking for happiness in someone or something

It is as if you are relinquishing responsibility for what is happening in your life. Do you think that only close people and their actions can make you happy: the attention of your husband, good grades and obedience of children, understanding of parents and girlfriends - they say, what else is needed for happiness? Yes, this is all, of course, valuable and important. But if, amid such an abundance of positive emotions, you do not feel harmony within yourself, realizing that no external factors are capable of destroying it, then the efforts of relatives and friends will become only scenery for a bad performance. Understand that no one except you is responsible for your attitude.

123RF / Iulia Iun

Learn to forgive yourself for mistakes

“I offended you, and you treat me so kindly. Not worth it,”- one way or another, but each of us at least once made it clear to ourselves and those around us: I am not worthy of happiness, because I once made a mistake. Have you ever thought that it is impossible to live without making mistakes? It's as natural as breathing.

Learn to forgive yourself for your wrong actions and words, for the fact that you once stumbled and hurt another person - everything in life cannot be perfect, and this is certainly not a reason not to allow yourself to be happy.

Don't Think Happiness Has to Be Earned

How many times have you said, “I’ll do this job and breathe freely”? Does it mean that until a certain result is obtained, you have no right to be in harmony with yourself and the world around you? That is, your happiness directly depends on how well you cleaned the house, how delicious the dinner was prepared, how quickly you prepared the annual report for the chef, etc.? This is fundamentally the wrong approach. The feeling of happiness can in no way depend on pots, pasta, brooms and office computers. And if now you feel how joy overwhelms you for no apparent reason, do not even try to look for it. You just live - this is already happiness.

123RF / Alena Ozerova

Don't expect a trick

We were taught from childhood that life is a zebra, black and white stripes and all that. And now, when adults get something that they have wanted for so long, they cannot fully rejoice, expecting an hour of reckoning for a minute of happiness. Stop programming yourself for negativity, just say, “I'm happy now! And in an hour it will be the same, in a day, and in a week. Understand - there is no catch, and you do not have to pay for anything, you are not in the market.

Don't look for happiness only in big things

Because the secret to enjoying life is being able to notice the pleasant little things. You don't have to find a million to be the happiest person on earth. Sometimes it is enough to see the smile of a child or the joy in your mother's eyes when you finally come to her after a long separation. Don't let things go by that seem mundane. In fact, it is precisely such simple and seemingly inconspicuous little things that help us understand how happy we are. Relax - stop waiting for something more, be grateful for what you have.

123RF / Natalii Sdobnikova

Of course, in one day it is impossible to get rid of all the psychological barriers that prevent us from enjoying ourselves and the world around us. And not everyone is able to overcome them on their own, for some it will be correct to consult a specialist. There is nothing shameful in this: life is given to us so that we are happy, so do you really want to spend precious time on the prohibitions that you invent for yourself? It's time to cancel them and start living.