Rich man, poor man, or our debts

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Life, as you know, is capable of making sharp turns. Sometimes 180 degrees. Suffice it to recall the well-known August events of almost five years ago. Another cliché is about a life-river, which, of course, has two banks. Having combined these two common truths, there is no need to explain further why people can find themselves on different sides of life …

Is it a shame to have money?

It is not at all necessary that some of these people are more fortunate in life, and some less. Of course, anecdotes about new Russians in Russia are still very popular, but this is, rather, by inertia. The bulk of the people of the new formation spent a lot of effort to achieve the appropriate position. Studying at the institute, or even two or three, seminars and trainings, life at work - this is what you put on the altar of your career. Since the inherited millionaire uncles live only in soap series.

It is much more likely that your own uncles (as well as aunts and other numerous relatives) remained on the other side of the notorious river named Life. It does not matter for what reasons - age or caution did not allow them at one time to embark on adventures with a change of job, and, consequently, income and lifestyle. Much more important now is that many of them quite sincerely believe that they are incredibly lucky with a relative. Having a walking bank nearby is a real success.

By the way, it is a well-known fact: children of successful parents (those very new Russians) are often embarrassed by the financial situation of their families in front of their peers. This often manifests itself in school. It happens, of course, and vice versa - but that's another story.

Why exactly you?

Perhaps, there is not a single person in the world who would never borrow money in his life. Word"

But over time, some people only become convinced that borrowing is the easiest and easiest way to solve problems, while others, on the contrary, come to the conclusion that other solutions can be found more difficult.

It is quite possible that your financial situation is envied not only by your relatives, but also by your friends. They envy them "in white", as if they understand that money does not fall from heaven. But in their deep conviction, a friend is a friend, to help out in difficult times. And it is quite possible that you yourself (or your family) hold exactly the same opinion …

So a kind of conflict of interest turns out: you understand that you have nothing to be ashamed of, that you have earned your money. But you are … ashamed of them. You are embarrassed about a new car, a new apartment (although you had to work for several years without a vacation to buy them), and you can only tell about a vase bought in a fit of insanity at the price of a TV set only under the threat of being shot. Since your guests, who are intently examining this vase, doubting that you bought it in the Chinese market at a one hundred percent discount, have only one TV. Purchased ten years ago.

Such people always think that you are mismanaging money. You spend a lot on unnecessary little things, you do not save on buying food, because you take them in a store you come across on the way, and do not go to the market or take them in bulk. Actually, the size of your income is not decisive - it is enough that it is one and a half to two times higher than their own. Despite the fact that your relatives / friends also don’t slurp soup, they sincerely think that the difference in your income is free money that you don’t need too much. Therefore, they can count on you.

Psychologists believe that a person who successfully walks through life changes his social environment as well. And yet this is not entirely true. Of course, there are relatives, old friends (from the school-institute), sometimes neighbors with whom you communicate every day for many years … stepped in the opposite direction) just because of the difference in wages will be redneck.

Should I lend?

Most likely, you believe that they ask for a loan when the situation cannot be steered without it. Therefore, the question "to give or not to give" does not arise at first. Moreover, if money is required in order to solve serious problems - for example, your relative is to blame for an accident. Even if you think that there are insurance for this, you are unlikely to say it out loud.

An acquaintance of mine from Germany thus sent her Russian relative a decent amount of money required to hire a lawyer. The relative disposed of the money a little differently - he arranged a cruise for himself and even stopped by to visit her. While the girl herself was left without a vacation. Now she swears that she is no longer what is free of charge - she does not lend …

In one of the men's magazines, I once read an article on the topic of whether to lend money. Several points seemed crucial. If you are not sure that a person needs money for an important matter, try to offer him not the whole amount, but part of it. At the same time, you can check if it will be returned on time. Be sure to take a receipt if you are borrowing a large amount (unfortunately, this is unlikely to work for relatives). Finally, if the person cannot return the borrowed money on time, offer him to pay the amount in installments. So you may be able to get your money back, albeit with a delay …

Or not to give?

If you don’t want to borrow money, don’t borrow it. Perhaps you will avoid many unpleasant discoveries in this way. It is not necessary to explain in detail to the person why you do not want to keep him busy. Say that the money is in the bank, that you are repaying the loan. Finally, make it clear that you have other plans for this amount. It's only difficult at the beginning.

And then think: is it worth dealing with people who see in you only that very walking bank? It is unlikely that this is real friendship …

In any case, you need to learn how to manage your money. All the same psychologists say that young people are better at it, since the older ones still remember well the era of egalitarianism and living on a pittance. Well, for whom is it easy now?