6 surefire ways to spoil kids

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Babies are not born with instructions for use, and there are no ideal parents. You can read a lot of books, talk to all the moms in the playground and take special courses, but you will still feel like you don't know what to do.

Anyway, would you like to know what should and should not be done? Check out 6 proven ways to raise a spoiled child.

1. Always give in

It doesn't matter what the child wants, he gets it. It doesn't matter if it's a toy that he saw while standing in line at the supermarket or a game console that costs a quarter of your salary. By giving him whatever he demands, you will grow an egoist.

Many parents think that by denying their children their requests, they will look like enemies of their little ones. But children need a real idea of how to get what they want, they need to know the value of money and labor. By grabbing your wallet for any whining, you will create the impression that money and material possessions are more important than emotional and spiritual experience and that you do not need to work and earn money to get what you want.

How to proceed: Limit yourself to one gift per month, allocating a certain amount of money for this. If the child wants more or something more expensive, he must earn money for it (for example, doing housework) or save on pocket expenses.

2. Don't react to bad behavior

Your child is naughty, throws tantrums or offends other children, and you do nothing. Many do not want to look like harsh mothers and therefore do not react in any way to the bad behavior of their children. Parents often do not know how to punish their children correctly.

Such upbringing can lead the child to serious problems in the future, such as breaking the law, for example. Children live according to the boundaries and rules of interaction with other people, which are set by their parents. If you don’t set the rules, the line between good and bad actions becomes blurred or may be completely absent.

How to proceed: Develop a clear and consistent list of sanctions for misconduct for your children. If they misbehave in school or in the community, deprive them of some privileges, such as a computer or dessert. Use house arrest for really bad behavior. Always calmly explain why a particular behavior is unacceptable. Do not change the basic wording: if you repeat the same thing over and over again, the child will learn everything sooner or later.

3. Always take the side of the child

When a teacher or someone else tells you that your child is misbehaving, you do not believe and always take the side of your child. We all want to believe that our children are real angels, but turning a blind eye to their misdeeds or denying them is not an option. Some parents think that their children cannot do wrong, that some bullies are always to blame for everything. It is vital to emphasize the important role of teachers, police officers and other adults. Explain to the children that they are not above the rules and that mistakes have consequences.

How to proceed: If your child's teacher or caregiver advises you to take certain measures, follow that advice as long as it is safe and sensible to do so. Explain to your child why this happened. And that you still love him, but you have to do what it takes to grow up to be a responsible person.

4. Fight in front of the child

Family scenes are the last thing a child needs to see. This can even affect the health of the baby, psychological problems "echo" then all his life with various diseases.

Children who witness family scandals can commit rash acts, run away from home, look for dangerous ways to escape from reality, such as drugs or alcohol. In addition, they will learn that it is perfectly normal to resolve conflicts by yelling or even assault.

How to proceed: Behave with restraint in front of children. If you have already begun to quarrel, try to transfer the communication to another room or to the street. If the child has already observed your conflicts, go with him to a psychologist - find a specialist. A psychotherapist will help your child overcome the period of divorce and family problems. Your task is to teach children to solve problems in relationships by calm conversations.

5. Set a bad example

Going out of line, deceiving, using foul language in front of kids, you set a bad example for them. Parents are the main teachers for children, and your actions have a huge impact on them. You are wrong if you think that children are not paying attention. They are extremely susceptible and will imitate whatever behavior they see.

How to proceed: You need to become a good example for your children. Of course, we all make mistakes. You need to explain to the children why what you did was wrong and what now you need to do to fix it.

6. Pay no attention

Work late, waste time on TV shows, girlfriends, or just ignore your kids. Children need to feel loved and needed and know that they are worthy of attention and care. If this is neglected, the child will seek solace in the wrong company or suffer from depression.

How to proceed: Even if you have a busy schedule or need to take a break from parenting from time to time, be sure to devote one day a week to your children.