Will the old horse spoil the furrow?

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

An old Russian proverb perfectly characterizes the attitude of our mentality to unequal unions. Both history and psychology prove that a 35-45 year old man is the dream of any girl. Even if she herself does not realize it. Let psychologists, analyzing such unions, talk about the Electra complex and unrealized love for the father. We choose those who are older, because they are smarter, thinner, deeper, more interesting. However, having an affair with him promises as much pleasure as it does problems.

The first problem: He's too busy.

Sergey Valentinovich teaches Russian literature of the Silver Age, Marina is a student of the Literary Institute. He is a famous scientist and writer. Marina hears his voice mostly on the phone: "Sorry, I'm at work, I'm busy in the evening, let's call you tomorrow." He asks to take care of himself, is interested in her affairs, says that he is bored. She believes him - but wants him to sacrifice his affairs at least once for a date with her.

Solution:

The most to do business. A new hobby, another foreign language, driving or computer design courses will not only not let you get bored in the evenings, but also make you more interesting for him. You will have a sparkle in your eyes, and it always attracts men. The main thing: do not be offended by him and his work. With such employment, it is an understanding, patient woman who has a chance to become the only one.

The second problem: Different social circle.

Lena is 19 years old and Mat is 37. He is an Englishman, he loves her and invites her to marry. Alyona? She realizes that if she misses such a chance, she will most likely regret it. But she and Mat are, how to say, uncomfortable. Although Lenka is proud of his Mat when he tells her friends how he, fit and in a tuxedo, shook hands with the British ambassador. But in a nightclub, where she barely manages to drag him, Lena realizes that he wants to go home, sleep well before an important meeting, and she wants to perform an incendiary mamba. He, of course, cannot dance the mamba.

Solution:

You have to pay for everything in life. And even more so for a calm, secure life. Pay with entertainment, free time, compliance. And do not forget that in a few years you yourself will already dance and want just such a man - who is firmly on his feet, who has made a career and earns a lot of money to provide for you and your child.

The third problem: He has a child.

Andrei divorced his wife two years ago, and since then the son for him is the center of the Universe. Karina, Andrey's 24-year-old girlfriend, had to come to terms with the fact that Oleg's call could rip her man off the spot at any time of the day or night. Karina and Andrei did not go to Egypt, because the tenth grader Oleg and his friends had a fight in a cafe - they had to compensate for material damage. Andrei did not devote much time to his son in marriage and now acutely feels his guilt and seeks to make up for lost time. At the same time, he does not even want to hear about a joint child with Karina: I already have a son who takes a lot of time and energy. And she so wants a little!

Solution:

Agree, a child from a previous marriage is less punishment than if the beloved was still married. A child is what he has and will always be, and this must be accepted. Your problem is your family and your common children. To this he must be gradually and delicately pushed: with love, sensitivity and warmth of your home. And, according to statistics, a child from an ex-wife rarely becomes a hindrance for children in a new marriage.

As you can see, many of the problems in your romance with an adult can turn into an advantage. Such a relationship will require from you as much tact, intelligence and patience as if you were his age. Because he is older than you, not by the same 15-20 years - but by a whole life, "by the whole of you." Perhaps he will consider you a child, and in this case, get ready for the role of an obedient student who has finally found a mentor in everything from reasonable economy to sexual literacy. Basically, you can learn a lot of new and useful things for yourself, get a lot of pleasant emotions - and that's all. Marrying a woman who is fit for a daughter is a serious test for a man. And not everyone will take the risk. But if you really want to marry your grown man, get ready to become much older at once - and not only in your mind, heart and character, but also outwardly. Just as an older partner gets younger with a younger one, so does a younger partner get older.