To be a boss? God forbid

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

The working life of any adult, one way or another, proceeds in the unity and struggle of opposites: the boss and the subordinate. During my 30 years, I managed to visit both guises. And now I am absolutely sure that being a subordinate is much better. There are a million reasons for this. But it is worth dwelling on the main ones in more detail.

1. No matter how hard you try, you will never be good for your subordinates. You can raise their wages, let them be late, go on unscheduled vacations, take time off, an advance three months in advance, promote them in the service, but once you stumble, make a remark, reprimand or fire a negligent worker, a friend of the two remaining, and that's it. your noble deeds will be immediately forgotten, and your bones will be washed to a crystal shine. Whenever you do something good for a subordinate, it is taken for granted and immediately pushed out of his head. However, any comment goes to the piggy bank, which he will loudly shake after each director's thrashing (even if it is fair a thousand times and is repeated no more than once every six months). Therefore, all available types of bosses are divided into subordinates:

a) rude tyrants

b) incompetent upstarts

v) incredible hunks

G) inattentive, insensitive and unable to "enter the position of" crackers

e) arrogant impudent

e) picky and unfair pedants

g) jealous of the successes of subordinate intriguers

h) mediocrity

and) losers

To) if we continue, the alphabet will not be enough …

2. The boss has no friends at work. Even if they were before you became the boss. Alas, everyone who tries to befriend the boss is often accused behind the eyes of self-interest, sycophancy, familiarity or careerism. Therefore, not many subordinates will dare to "make friends" with the boss, so as not to be caught in such sins. On the other hand, it is not profitable for you to have friends among the performers. How, for example, then ask them if they make unforgivable mistakes? How to fine? Deprive of premiums? To fire? If you tell the truth, you will lose friendship, but if you keep it, you will harm the cause. One of my acquaintances was simply in an idiotic situation: he had to cut his staff, while he didn't have to choose much - either fire one of his best friends, or an employee, a single mother. Moreover, from the point of view of the benefits of the case (not to mention the legal and moral-ethical side of the problem), the former was preferable. Calling a friend to him, the acquaintance calmly explained to him the essence of the problem. Since then, they have not spoken at all for two years.

3. The boss is the subject of incessant gossip. If people really hiccupped every time they were remembered with an unkind word, then bosses would have chronic hiccups. For in their case, everything is subject to discussion: clothing, cosmetics, perfume, hairstyle, gait, demeanor, deeds, intonation in the voice, personal relationships, gastronomic preferences, work schedule, choice of a place to rest, spouse, children, beloved dog and even fitness -coach and family therapist … Only Madonna can be more popular than the chief's personality, and even she does not always stand up to competition. At the same time, gossip and legends about the boss, like any folk art, is passed from mouth to mouth, from senior to junior employees, acquiring more and more new details and piquant details. For example, the phrase of my friend, thrown to me on the phone in the presence of a secretary, that she wanted to rent another apartment, returned to her two weeks later in the form of a story about how she had a falling out with her husband and intends to divorce him. The logic is iron.

4. A boss is a dangerous and stressful job. Yes, it does not contribute to health. Responsibility is the main scourge of the leader. Whatever whoever does, you will have to answer. You should have a headache, what and how should be done to improve work, to achieve the necessary results, how to organize everything correctly, how to establish contacts … Continuous "What? Where? When?" At the same time, you can ask for help, advice and ideas from your subordinates for as long as you like at meetings - they are firmly convinced that "initiative is punishable", therefore they have long lost the habit of thinking, and only carry out your instructions. The further you work, the more you "earn" nervous sores, starting with a tic in the left eye and ending with a stomach ulcer or (especially for men) a heart attack.

5. The boss has no days off and holidays. He also does not have a fixed working day (unless, of course, he is a "wedding general" in the firm). His job is a real rabid wolf who just strives to escape into the forest, so you have to keep yourself in constant shape. And regret that there are only 24 hours in a day, and only 7 days in a week.

6. Leaders have no privacy. Excessive responsibility, overloading with affairs and worries leads to the development of frigidity. Sex therapists have repeatedly warned that workaholics are threatened by partial or complete impotence, or, at least, the loss of all interest in sexual life. And what partner can endure this for a long time? Come on, sex - and cultural recreation? After all, bosses even have business dinners in 9 out of 10 cases.

7. It is difficult for the boss to change jobs. Unlike subordinates, who can move from firm to firm, at least every month, the boss cannot afford this. People are not often invited to managerial positions (managers in the labor market are one-of-a-kind goods), and not everyone can move to the rank of a performer after an executive chair (even if it was in a department of 5 people). Someone gets in the way of vanity, someone is not satisfied with less money (bosses are paid more than performers). Either the subordinate did not get along with the boss, sent him and the job to hell and found a new place for himself.

This is how you think at your leisure about the difficult fate of the bosses, and decide that it is better to be an ordinary executive employee who works for normal money 5 days a week, laid down by the Labor Code 8 hours a day. And if the boss gets it, you can just change jobs - let him be jealous. He can only dream of all these simple joys of life.

Alena Metelkina