Tulip, jasmine daffodil?

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

If a man looks after himself, loves and appreciates himself, is it good or bad? Well, what to do if his love for himself, self-esteem and cleanliness are excessive and go beyond all conceivable and inconceivable boundaries, while developing into selfishness, admiration for himself (often not at all justified) and satisfaction of all his whims?

Fascinating, cute, or maybe … selfish?

"Lord, dear! - bursts out at me. - Well, how much can you spin in front of the mirror? You've been standing there for 2 hours! Yes, dear, you look very good. Of course, the tie is tied perfectly. We're already late!" I, tugging at the sleeve of my beloved. - Well, don't look like that. Okay, I'll wait another 10 minutes … What? No, of course, I also want my man to be the most handsome, but you are the best with me anyway ! Uh-huh … I'm going to have some coffee."

I run to the kitchen and put on the kettle. There is nowhere to hurry anyway - we are mercilessly late, and my friend Lyubka will be pouting for a whole week now. Well, how can I tell her that my cat is behaving like a woman? The saving drink burns the throat and fills with new strength. Hearing my hubby's inviting cry, I drop the cup and run to him. Finally! If we don't get stuck in traffic, we'll be only 50 minutes late and, perhaps, I will persuade Lyubka not to be offended. Only what I saw in the room is simply shocking. Despite all my angelic patience, I feel anger wake up and my blood boils deep inside. Imagine the picture: clothes just tried on are scattered around the room, and my hubby tries on a different shirt. It matches the color of his eyes more!

Sound familiar? Probably, each of us has come across a similar one, when a man literally pushes you away from the mirror in order to look at his beloved, look at his stately figure, check if the bangs lie neatly, how the trousers are ironed, well, or simply because he needs to do mask. And at the same time, to all your "light" hints that the mirror is a purely female territory, he replies that you already look normal, and His Majesty needs to outshine everyone.

And if such cases are not uncommon, and such accuracy and narcissism of your man goes beyond all boundaries, be careful! This is a sure sign of a narcissistic man.

Causes and Effects

When I "groundlessly" accused my dear one of being a narcissist, he was indignant for a long time, not even understanding the meaning of this word. But curiosity still prevailed over laziness. My faithful decided to take a serious step - to spend a few precious minutes from daily browsing of various sites (all - "exclusively for work") on the interpretation of this term. In the morning I was in for a real hysteria - how dare I accuse him of that!

It turns out that the concept of "narcissism" means arousal and sexual satisfaction that arises from the sight of one's own naked body or admiration for others. Masturbation can also be seen as a manifestation of narcissism, but only if it is accompanied by narcissism.

Listening to all this, I was once again surprised: "After all, it can, when it wants!" Even a school teacher did not hear such intelligible words from my hubby when she asked me to teach Pushkin's poems. I learned all about this phenomenon, from the fact that this term was introduced into medicine in 1889, and ending with the fact that not only men suffer from narcissism, but also "certain women"!

However, everything that happened made me think that of all the narcissistic habits, my beloved is more narcissistic and selfish.

But even if you noticed similar inclinations in your beloved, then, firstly, do not make premature conclusions, and, secondly, remember that the devil is not so terrible as he is painted.

After all, in fact, such a sexual deviation is quite rare and is usually part of the sexual game. Well, as for masturbation … Admit it, have you never resorted to self-gratification, or have you never wanted to? And all such manifestations, both male and female, can be easily understood, but again, if all this is not too much.

Myth or Reality?

The emergence of such a phenomenon as narcissism can be associated with an ancient myth. Narcissus was the son of the river god Kephissus and the beautiful nymph Liriope. The parents of the young man, worried about the fate of their son, turned to the great oracle to find out the future of the boy. The oracle said that Narcissus would live to a ripe old age if he did not see his face.

The young man grew up a man of extraordinary beauty, and many women sought his love. However, no one could touch Narcissus's heart. The nymph Echo also fell in love with the young man, but he rejected her too. The nymph dried up from grief, and only her voice remained. In the end, all the offended and angry women who were not needed by Narcissus turned to the gods, urging them to punish him. The goddess of justice Nemesis heeded their pleas. Returning from the hunt, the young man looked into an unclouded source and fell in love with his reflection. In the water, he saw the best and most perfect part of himself, could not tear himself away from this sight and died of self-love. And in this place a beautiful flower grew.

"A wonderful and sad fairy tale" - you say. And how is everything in life?

How to recognize a narcissist?

Narcissistic tendencies are manifested in the character of a person.

Remember how often we hear from our men the words, as if in jest: "I am the most beautiful, I am the smartest, I am the strongest, I am the best."

However, at these moments, representatives of the strong half of humanity simply do not think that besides them, the one and only, there are billions of people on planet Earth. Well, mine is definitely thinking about something else. Maybe how nice it would be to drink beer with Tolik now? Although, no. Rather, he comes up with a new recipe for a fruit mask …

All psychologists believe that such beginnings of narcissism exist in every person. However, not everyone has them gaining the upper hand over feelings and reason. Calculate approximately how much time you spend in front of the mirror. But this does not mean that your reflection, face and body become the meaning of life. You have a certain limit. And in narcissists, self-love transcends these boundaries and continues to grow and develop, fueled by their own ego, until they begin to live their own lives.

Patience and a little effort?

If, nevertheless, on your path in life you have met such a person, then you will need a lot, a lot of patience.

But first you have to decide if you need it. I love my beloved, and I don't care that I spend half an hour at the mirror every day, and he is 5 times more, that a good half of the closet is occupied by his clothes, and my things modestly fit on two shelves.

I need him the way he is, with all his creams, masks, gels and other pleasures. And I remember this cherished phrase every time I start to get mad - it helps to calm down.

I can say with confidence that there are certain problems in communication, but how many pluses! Do you know how interesting it is to talk to a person with narcissistic tendencies about cosmetics and fashion? It is difficult to imagine that a man knows better than you in all the ruffles, frills, folds, and you cannot distinguish Yudashkin from Zverev, right?

Just be simple about everything and do not constantly show your displeasure - this can offend anyone without exception. And if you still decide to live with a narcissist, then it is better to buy another mirror in the room for yourself.

And most importantly - don't worry! Even a narcissist can be very considerate of you. Moreover, "severe cases" are rare. Judge for yourself.

From A to Z

There are many types of narcissism. Along with praising one's own "I", turning it into a standard, there is also self-deprecation, low self-esteem and loss of self-respect.

One of the most common types is erotic narcissism, which can also take many forms.

1. Phallus cult. These are those who know for sure that, due to the presence of "this thing", they belong to the better sex and rise above the representatives of the rest, i.e. above us, mortal and worthless women.
2. Self-admiration, love for your own "I" and your reflection.
3. Achieving sexual satisfaction while admiring your body.
4. The desire to achieve worship and delight from a partner during intercourse.

And if your man spends a lot of time on his appearance and has the beginnings of narcissism, this is not so scary. Don't quarrel over who is going to the bathroom or taking a seat at the mirror. Don't let irritation get into your personal life.

And, in spite of everything, remember that a beautiful picture is just a shell. There is also an inner world, which is much more beautiful and attractive than any, even the most irresistible external appearance.