A step back: relationship with an ex

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Sometimes it happens that after breaking up with a man and spending some time without him (perhaps even filled with other relationships), you again begin to remember how good it was with your ex. As a rule, this happens if all subsequent relationships were not successful, or as a result of an unexpected meeting, which made you look in a new way at the one with whom you have already broken up. It also happens that the ex does not want to let you go, calls you a hundred times a day, says that he loves a lot and now everything will be different. Pictures from the past pop up in my head, and the pleasant ones shamelessly crowd out those that caused pain. You believe in the best and it seems that you can start all over again.

In fact, only you yourself are able to solve the "can or not" dilemma. It all depends on the specific case and on the confidence in the person with whom you are going to associate again, if not life, then at least some part of it. There are many different opinions on this matter. Someone thinks that it is worth a try, because during the time spent apart, a lot could have changed, and even the person himself. Others are sure that if you try to glue a broken cup, it simply will not happen in any case - there will always be only a crack at the place of the crack. Well, ardent opponents do not even admit the thought of renewing relations with the former, explaining their position more than succinctly: "If it should grow together, it will grow together immediately, without any second chances."

Well, if now you are faced with a choice whether to step into the same river twice, you should take into account a number of nuances, answer yourself a few questions that will help you make the right decision and make the right decision.

Think about how your relationship ended

If the reason for the breakup was a mere trifle, and you don't even remember the details, then everything is much simpler - people often go for principles, do not want to give in, and therefore ruin the relationship without wanting to. Maybe you should try to be together again. But it is necessary to look at a situation in which betrayal, deception and assault took place in a completely different way. Are you ready to transfer again everything that you ran away from some time ago? Nobody can give you a guarantee that these troubles will not happen again. And can you with an open heart and soul relate to someone who once betrayed you?

Some girls go into a relationship with an ex solely out of a desire to prove something to him.

Consider if you really want to be with this person

Some girls go into a relationship with an ex solely out of a desire to prove something to him. Sometimes hurt pride comes into play (for example, in the case of his betrayal), and they start dating their ex only to get revenge. And sometimes the motive for the renewal of communication becomes a rather dubious need to show him how beautiful, smart, well-groomed she is now, etc. Simply put, if he pointed out to you extra pounds, then now that you have lost weight, it's time to wipe his nose and hit him on the spot with his beauty. But in fact, such feelings cannot be the basis for starting a romantic relationship. First, you should understand that everything that you are trying to prove, you are proving only to yourself. Neither your ex nor those around you need it. And secondly, it is not at all necessary to become a couple again in order for him to see how beautiful you are, it is enough just to appear in front of him “by chance” in a breathtaking dress at some event.

Jealousy or love?

This point is similar to the previous one with the only difference that in this case we will talk about jealousy of all the girls of the ex who appeared after you. Many are tormented by this feeling. It seems to them that he simply has the right not to love someone else. “But how is that? I was his best! As soon as I imagine that he is hugging someone, he cringes as much. And in this case, without even experiencing something like love, you can try again to return the man. But is the game worth the candle? It will take some time, and you will not need it. After your self-affirmation, it will not become easier for anyone - neither you nor your man. And, after all, you’re not going to bring back every ex, just to show yourself that you’re really the best?

After your self-affirmation, it will not become easier for anyone - neither you nor your man.

Would you connect life with him?

This is a really important question that you should answer for yourself. At the beginning of a relationship, this is difficult to do - we don't really know who we are dating. But if you have already seen not only positive, but also negative qualities of a person (you managed to part because of something), then you can probably admit to yourself - do you want to marry him for life, forever and ever. If the answer is a solid yes, then it might be worth a try. And if you hesitate, reflect, close your eyes and see scenes from the past in which you swear, slam doors, then think about renewing the relationship. Most likely, you do not want to be with this person so much, if, thinking about the prospect of becoming one family with him, you start to doubt.

Do you trust him?

Since the reason for the breakup is often the betrayal on the part of the man (we, women, are also not saints, but now we are talking about something else), the question of trusting him in "repeated" relationships is almost the most important. Let you think that you have forgiven him, let you assure yourself and those around you that now you don’t even think about reading his correspondence on social networks and on the phone, stay alone with yourself and answer the question: “Do I trust him so much that I exclude the possibility of another treason? " The scheme is the same as in the previous paragraph: "yes" - try, doubt or firm "no" - then why? By plaguing both him and yourself with suspicion, you will make two people unhappy. You will not be able to live in peace, fearing that you will be betrayed again.

Be honest with yourself - if you resume a relationship that a priori will not bring you happiness, you will only lose time and peace of mind. Of course, you can try, take a chance and see what happens. As they say, if you really want to, then you can. But please, be careful.