Execute Cannot Be Pardoned

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Already in the definition"

A friend of mine likes to say that we ourselves carefully and diligently create difficulties for ourselves. In order to then courageously overcome them. Probably, "so that life does not seem like honey", it seems so … Or "we only dream about peace" is also a true saying.

Let’s, with the help of competent psychologists, still try to figure out why we “enrich” our already difficult and interesting life with bad habits. What else is the point in self-destruction through short and frankly dubious pleasure, other than this very moment of short-lived highs? Psychologists are unanimous - there is a sense. For example, for that category of citizens who are accustomed to "blame" on their alleged impotence to give up their bad habit absolutely all life's hardships.

Say, here, I love cakes, and from them I get fat to the extreme … and precisely because I am fat, my personal life is zero. That is, if I were thin, like that impudent girl from the cover of the magazine, everything would be fine: love, family, children, happiness … But! I can't be thin - I love sweets very much! And I can’t do anything about it - the force of habit will not let me.

The circle is complete. And the most amazing thing is that our Fatty Girl somewhere deeply deeply (as we like to express it, "on a subconscious level") knows that, even if by magic, she suddenly becomes skinny, success in her personal life will not follow! It is ridiculous to say: "All the thin people are happy, and all the fat ones are unhappy." A successful personal life requires some effort - to become an interesting interlocutor, to love yourself, to be realized professionally … but you never know what else! And to achieve all this … terribly lazy! It's much easier to blame your failures on the "I'm fat" definition. And the reason for "fatness", and hence these failures, is to be seen solely in the inability to fight the "bad habit of overeating cakes." Sound familiar?

The next subspecies of addicts to bad habits are amateurs and lovers to punish themselves. The internal monologue of such people is usually of the following type: “What else from me, such - and such - awful wait, if I am not even able to quit smoking … It was not for nothing that Vasya threw me for Masha's sake - it serves me right! Of course, did I deserve happiness? After all … Further, all the sins, sins and errors that have ever been committed before are methodically recalled … and this masochistic process is followed by self-accusation, self-flagellation, judgment and indirect realization thereof. What is the reason for this seemingly unnatural behavior? In the desire to suffer! Yes! Yes! A person simply thinks that he “didn’t deserve anything good” or he is sure that “good things don’t come for free,” that is, one must certainly suffer in order to “earn” life benefits …

A bad habit, and especially the inability to get rid of it, is a sure way to eat yourself as much as you like. Again, the mechanism for putting all sorts of personal failures on a bad habit works great here!

If in the first case, the fat girl is sure that the cause of her misfortunes is not at all in her, but in her notorious "thickness", then in the second, the girl-smoker is just herself, supposedly worthless, and will blame and punish: "If you you can't quit smoking, what else can you expect from you at all ?!"

There are those among us who stubbornly consider themselves better than others. Much better. And in everything and completely. And I don’t know on what basis and what these people are guided by. They are united by such undoubtedly attractive qualities as absolute inflexibility and amazing stubbornness, obstinacy, if you like … that "smoking is harmful to health"! What do you mean, come to your senses !!! In his case, smoking is an unearthly blessing. And the point. And he chokes like that, let's be honest, unhappy, albeit arrogant, with another portion of smoke … Are you sorry? Of course! After all, such stubbornness, deaf to reasonable arguments, is nothing more than a complex of one's own inferiority, worthlessness … in his case, quitting smoking is almost betraying oneself and one's own principles. Wise people say that a truly smart person accepts conditions, not dictates them. And he calmly admits his mistakes, because he is basically self-sufficient. Those who foaming at the mouth prove … God is their judge.

Hedonists - lovers of pleasure and adorers to indulge their "little weaknesses", as psychologists say, just simply, infantile creatures, striving at all costs to avoid any responsibility … By their behavior ("Well, I can't, dear, stop drinking … yes, I'm weak! Man, in general, is a weak creature! ") they seem to warn:" I wash my hands!"

That is, if anything, I’m not guilty, I didn’t promise anything … And that means that asking something from me is a big mistake … and if I did promise and swore, I swore … do not exact it strictly! I'm not serious, well, what can you take from me ?! I'm not even able to quit drinking, but you say - get married …

Those of us who are completely devoid of even a hint of any bad habits and have NEVER been noticed for these, even for the most harmless ones, like eating sweets, from which, by the way, caries, and then life-long "Orbit"! O! This is a very special category … In a word, almost maniacs! Their main pleasure is the cultivation of their unshakable virtue. This is what the maniacal citizens are busy with practically around the clock.

Famous psychologist Eric Byrne, the author of the books "Games People Play", "People Who Play Games" very aptly and ingeniously classified those who make up the entire human race into various species and subspecies, where everyone lives according to their own scenario, plays a game, the outcome of which is known in advance to an observant person. Moreover, such a game can even be won! Or switch from one, boring, to another, more exciting … our bad habits, for the most part, are participants in our games, on a par with us, by the way. We skillfully manipulate bad habits in order to achieve a certain goal, to soften someone, to do something pleasant, when we don't feel like working at all, to blame all our failures on … well, let's say, on drunkenness, why not? People are great manipulators!

Agree, but first of all we "play games" with ourselves! Good or bad - I do not presume to decide. However, with the "right" attitude, bad habits can miraculously brighten up our life! Provided that you do not turn them into a source of eternal remorse.

And, in general, the concept of "bad habits" is quite loose - for someone twenty cigarettes a day is nonsense, and that's all! And to someone one cake a week seems like a crime … Let's come to an agreement - everything that is on the edge of reason (we are not maniacs, thank God) we will call not harsh "bad habits", but condescending "cute pranks"! Agree, for cute pranks to punish yourself well, just "the hand does not rise." If you really can’t deny yourself a couple of cigarettes for a day … well, don’t deny it. The main thing is not to beat yourself up for this pair of cigarettes! Do not feel guilty with every puff - the feeling of guilt affects the complexion even worse than the products of nicotine combustion or whatever … in a word, try to make friends with your cute pranks.

In the end, you yourself, an adult young lady, are responsible for your actions. I want to clarify: you do not bend into three deaths under the heavy burden of responsibility, but calmly and confidently, with your shoulders straightened and your head held high, you bear responsibility for everything that happens in your life.

Do you remember that "the freedom of one ends where the freedom of the other begins." This is me for the ethical side of the question: the one who is nearby does not always have a burning desire to inhale the smoke of your cigarette. It is at this moment that she ceases to be a "cute prank".

And you know, if you, having become akin to your bad habit for many years, still allow it to return YOU the "reins of government" over your own life - then then your bad habit, hanging over you with the sword of Damocles, will turn into a longed-for "sweetheart" prank"!