How I became a client of a marriage agency

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

I was looking for a job. And then a large marriage agency"

The agency was located in a cubbyhole, between red high-rise buildings. Orderly tattered paper signs with the Bluebird logo led me into a large room - the hall. The secretary with chemistry on her head smiled radiantly: "Have you got married?"

Then they explained to me that it was her signature joke. The owner of a strong family, she loved to make fun of potential clients, and they were embarrassed in response and averted their eyes.

In a small office filled with desks and computers, they looked at me with pleasure.

- We have a very high percentage of marriages. And serious connections abroad. You can get married in almost any country.

With a sweet smile, I explained that I was satisfied with my personal life and was only interested in work.

- Yes? - the brunette manager raised her eyebrows. - But you can get married at the same time. You never know how everything will turn out. Just look at who is contacting us. - She laid out in front of me an album of color photographs of clients. Different women looked at me from glossy pages - young and not very, pretty and so-so, but there were many cheerful, well-groomed, beautiful. And they cannot find a husband on their own … Life develops in different ways, - sighed the blonde, the administrator. - Someone makes a career, someone is divorced, someone has two children. But basically, everyone hopes not only to start a family, but also to arrange a better life. So they turn to an international agency. Where will they meet the foreigner themselves?

- What kind of photos are in demand? - I decided to be curious, remembering the American "keep smiling", and I was not mistaken.

- Cheerful. And also such … primitive. Here is Sasha, 40 years old. Was photographed in lingerie on her daughter's huge soft tiger toy. We have already received 70 or 80 responses to it.

I automatically scanned the inscriptions on the back of the photographs. Marina, chief accountant, plays tennis, is fluent in English, French, Finnish. I felt envy, but, looking at the photo, I stopped envious: Marina resembled Vodyanoy from the cartoon "The Flying Ship" in his prime.

- Yes, that's how it happens. She is smart and earns well, but no one needs it. What will you please us with, do you have your resume with you? How is your English?

After studying my work experience, the brunette said that I was fine with them. I sat down on a wooden bench and proceeded to the questionnaires - and not for personnel, but for marriage.

- Only Blue Bird clients can work with us. You will have to join the club. If you want, choose the simplest scheme - introduction to the card index and participation in our events. 150 rubles.

The questionnaire included standard questions: age, date of birth, zodiac sign, height, weight, eye color, hair color. Next to me the columns were carefully filled in by a woman of about thirty.

- Girl, - she turned to me, - do you think my hair is dark blond or brown?

- What's the difference! - answered her other neighbor. - Write "blonde". The Fritz love blondes. Everyone loves blondes. In extreme cases, repaint.

Then I should write about my hobbies. What do Russian women write in such graphs? Theater, music, literature, dance, nature, parenting, household. A classic set of a humanitarian nation. Some add "healthy lifestyle" and "sports". Nobody writes career. Women looking for a foreign husband expect that he will earn.

“Besides, they’re all obsessed with feminism,” sighs a lively neighbor. - And in wives, like our men, they are looking for a housekeeper and a nanny. Well, a friend, of course. Not talking to them about music.

The second questionnaire was dedicated to the applicant for husbands, only there it was already required to indicate which race you prefer, acceptable bad habits, height, sphere of professional activity, hobby. I myself did not notice how I began to take the process seriously, forgetting about my boyfriend with a year of experience. I dreamed of happiness in these two pieces of paper, as if I were ordering it like a pizza over the phone. Brunette under 190 cm? Or is the athlete blond? Lawyer or Writer? With children, without children, with grandchildren? To play golf, handball, squash? Pragmatist or Romantic?

- And whom do women mostly choose? I asked again.

- From 30 to 50 years old. Often they agree to have children from their first marriage, - answered the brunette. - All indicate the financial well-being of a man. And they treat their appearance quite calmly. However, foreigners are also not demanding. They have a stereotype that Russian women are all beauties and the best wives.

At the end, I had to write an appeal to my betrothed. I imagined a chosen one unknown so far. In memory flashed appeals on the pages of dating newspapers: from "for correspondence and more" to "where are you, dear!"

“This is very important,” the blonde advised me. - This is, in fact, the only living word in your entire profile. It is by the appeal that he will judge who you are and whether you are suitable for him.

After looking through the questionnaires, the blonde was satisfied and gave me an annual membership badge card for attending club evenings, meetings with agency clients and foreign candidates for the Russian hand and heart. On the badge it was written: Elena, Taurus, element Earth. Obviously, this was comprehensive information, which was quite enough for the candidates.

- Or maybe you also want to be posted on the Internet? - suggested the brunette. - We also have advertisements in newspapers and magazines. This, of course, will be more effective. You are so young, someone will find you quickly.

I imagined the face of my beloved if he met my marriage announcement, and refused. And I'm actually looking for a job. And she asked when to wait for a decision on a trip to Denmark. They explained to me that there is still an interview with the head of the company in English to show the knowledge of the language and the ability to communicate with people, they explained to me.

- If someone is interested in you not for work, give a phone number?

“Come on,” I said.

Leaving the marriage agency "Blue Bird", I noticed six women in the lobby, poring over the questionnaires. Before them lay dictionaries: the questionnaire was filled in in Russian and in English. From time to time, one of the applicants raised her eyes to the ceiling and, biting the tip of her pen, smiled dreamily or painfully wrinkled her forehead, and then again leaned over to a piece of paper and wrote out her "cloud in pants." I closed the door behind me and ran out into the freezing air.