18 ways to make your life harder

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

“Life is not difficult. We are complex.

Life is simple, and simple things are right"

Oscar Wilde

Was life easier as a child? Sometimes it really seems true, but in reality, life is still simple. And it always will be. The only difference is that as we get older, we complicate things ourselves.

When we were children, we saw the world with simple eyes full of hope. We knew what we wanted and had no hidden plans. We loved smiling people and avoided those who frowned. We ate when we were hungry, drank when we were thirsty, and slept when we were tired.

123RF / Evgeny Atamanenko

As we get older, we get negatively influenced. One day we began to doubt our own instincts. Whenever a new obstacle appeared, we stumbled and fell. This was repeated several times. Finally, we decided that we didn't want to fall anymore, but instead of solving the problem, we just retreated.

As a result, we ate to calm ourselves and drank alcohol to soothe pain and fill the void. We worked late to avoid family conflicts. We began to harbor evil and deceive ourselves and others in order to get ahead. And when that didn't work, we had to do our best to hide the lie. As a result, we ate and drank even more to feel better for a little while.

Over time, we made our life more and more difficult, forgetting who we really are and what we need.

If you nod in agreement, here are a few things that are making your life harder than it needs to be, as well as some simple solutions.

1. You are looking in others for answers that only you can give

For most of our lives - especially in the beginning - we have been told what to do, how to think, what looks good, and what success is. You can no longer be guided by this. Listen to yourself, think, shake off the shackles. When you stop doing what others want you to do and start following your intuition, you will find what you are looking for.

123RF / Olga Dmitrieva

2. You feel guilty about living your life

As long as you don't hurt others, live your life. Sometimes we get lost trying to fit in with someone else, live up to their expectations, and do something to impress them. Think about it. Are you doing something because you truly believe it? Remember your goals.

Live, love and do everything at your discretion, because a relationship can end instantly, and you will remain with yourself for the rest of your life.

3. You let the vampires use you

Don't feel guilty about excluding vampires from your life. It doesn't matter that someone is a colleague, relative, potential partner, childhood friend or new acquaintance. Don't waste time with people who hurt you and make you feel insignificant.

123RF / Denis Raev

It's another matter if a person is aware of his behavior and tries to change. But if someone hurts your feelings, ignores obligations, and behaves abusively, you should stop communicating with that person.

4. You attribute negative motives to people's actions

You were cut off on the road. The friend did not reply to the message. A colleague went to lunch without you. Everyone can be offended by everyday actions. But what exactly makes us offended? We attribute latent negative motives to these innocent acts. Then they start to look like a slap in the face. Do not take such things personally and do not come up with unnecessary reasons. Try to see only good things in other people's actions.

5. You are unnecessarily dramatizing

How will your life change if you move away from drama, gossip, and verbal abuse? Try to say only good things about people one day and set an example for others to do the same. You can safely ignore those who refuse to support you. It's simple. Amazing things happen when you move away from negativity and the people who exude it. Don't be dramatized. Just walk by.

123RF / dolgachov

6. You are worried that people will steal your property

Consider this, especially if you are an artist, writer or creative profession. You can always achieve a lot by sharing your knowledge. Don't worry about people stealing your work, worry about when they stop doing it.

Be honest, try to help, and do good with your work. No amount of marketing tactics, social media ads, or rivals can replace this. If people like what you are doing, then you are doing everything right.

7. You are trying to compete with someone

If you compete with other people, you will quickly become frustrated. If you compete with yourself in the past, you will become better. It's simple.

8. You take too much

To cope with stress and loss, start doing good for others. Volunteer. Get involved in life. You don't have to help on something big. Say a kind word. Encourage your loved one. Visit a lonely person. Take a break from self-interest. There are two types of people in the world - those who give and those who take. The givers are happy and the takers are unhappy, constantly seeking out benefits for themselves.

123RF / Ian Allenden

9. You focus on popularity, not efficiency

Look for respect, not attention. It lasts longer and is much more beneficial. Do what will last. Also, don't confuse popularity with efficiency. Popularity means that you are loved for a while. Effectiveness means that you have changed something in this life.

10. You are looking for easy ways

Do what is right, not what is easy. Keep doing what you think is right, even if no one knows about it. Why? Because you will know.

11. You are focused on something other than the present

You cannot change the past, but you can easily spoil the present by worrying about the future. Live in the present. Tomorrow will come in due time, as all the past days have done.

12. You dwell on your mistakes

It's important to forgive yourself for mistakes you make. You need to learn from them and move on. Don't judge yourself today for the mistakes you made yesterday. Sometimes the most important result of work is not the reward, but the experience gained. A happy and successful life does not happen without problems, it is important to be able to overcome them and move on.

123RF / Alena Ozerova

13. You think "all or nothing"

There is no absolute success, nor is there an absolute defeat. If you label things and only see black and white, you are wasting time. Life is a series of imperfect moments filled with possibilities and probabilities. Appreciate the middle between the extremes - the path, the experience. Also, don't let success turn your head and failure heartbreak.

14. You expect life to always be happy

The world may not be a very welcoming place. You can suffer, experience loss and frustration. It is difficult to be happy under these circumstances, but do not give up hope. Think about yin and yang in Chinese philosophy - opposite, but inextricably linked forces. In suffering, you can find strength, a broken heart can learn flexibility, and loss can give life new meaning. Life is always a combination of black and white.

Opposites are always intertwined. You cannot shield yourself from sadness without excluding all joy.

15. You always think about the worst option

Sometimes we worry about events that are unlikely to happen. Sore throat is life threatening. The lost driver's license has ended up in the hands of a fraudster who uses your data. Such negative thoughts will simply make you unhappy. They are the snatchers of joy. They carry you away like waves from a saving shore and cover you with your head, not allowing you to breathe. In fact, you can look at the world through the prism of doubt and despair, or through rose-colored glasses of joy and hope. The choice is only yours.

16. You Let Losses Destroy You

Sometimes you have to work hard to be happy. Some problems are not solved by positive thinking alone. Do you need to forgive someone? Need to let go of an ended relationship? Are you trying to come to terms with the death of a loved one? Life is full of losses. But without them, real happiness would not have been possible. They help us appreciate the good moments, They help us grow. If you are trying to see the light, you are not alone. Find an understanding person and talk to him. Ask for help. Don't let loss take you down.

17. You don't face the truth

Truth does not cease to exist if you ignore it. You cannot find peace by turning a blind eye to certain things. To heal, you need to feel pain. Therefore, acknowledge your fears and weaknesses, direct your beam of attention to them. In the long run, this pain is worth it, trust me!

18. You delay making decisions

A bad decision is almost always better than no decision. Doubt only prolongs an unpleasant situation, and a bad decision can teach you a lot. In the end, more often than not, we regret not taking the chance, missing out on the relationship, and thinking too long before making a decision.