Make your own decision - a right or a luxury for a child

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

As a rule, by ten to twelve years of age, a child"

The Kosterev family, living in a small provincial town, was considered, as they say, exemplary. The head of the family is a leading engineer at a local plant, his wife is a housewife, for the sake of the peace and well-being of family members, she dropped out of her time at the institute and devoted herself to raising her daughter. She, like a hen, did not allow her "chicken" to step on its own: "Don't climb the hill - you will crash, don't go to the sandbox - there is only dirt." The child grew up, but the communication style remained the same. Since only mother knew what was best for her only child, it is not surprising that by the age of twelve the girl could not take a step without the consent of the too zealous parent. After many years of doing household chores, the woman was tired of the measured home environment, the unhurried flow of colorless days, occasionally illuminated by the sparks of childhood successes. But time was lost, all that remained was to regret the unrealized opportunities and hope that, thanks to the correct upbringing, the daughter would realize her unfulfilled mother's dreams with her life.

And suddenly the course of monotonous everyday life was disrupted by the news of the upcoming trip of the head of the family abroad. It was 1988, and the prospect of a two-year business trip to one of the European countries looked fantastic. What to do? Ride together? What about school? Staying at home with your child, letting go of your husband alone? Well, no, such an opportunity must not be missed! It was decided to leave alone, leaving the daughter in the custody of an aunt who lives in Moscow, especially since the latter had her own daughter, eleven years old. The daughter of the Kosterevs recently turned twelve years old, and all these years she personified an object of justified maternal pride. "A quiet, docile child, easily coping with a difficult school load, you will not have unnecessary trouble with it," the happy mother assured her sister and left with a calm heart for a distant and mysterious Europe.

So Olya Kostereva appeared in our 6 "B": plump, with a funny mole on her snub nose and two pigtails up to the waist, in a school dress and a white apron. One glance of tenacious children's eyes was enough to understand that we are facing a 100% excellent student. Now I don’t remember how quickly Olya fell under the full influence of the most "difficult" student of our class, and, perhaps, of the entire school, but for me it is quite obvious why this happened. The girl is used to being constantly manipulated by someone. She never thought about what and how to do, always agreeing with the opinion of a third person, which until recently was her mother, who has unlimited power over her obedient child. But now, for the first time in her life, she was not around, and her aunt could not or did not want to take on this difficult role.

The results of the harmful influence of the "difficult" classmate were not long in coming. Fives smoothly turned into threes, and evenings on your favorite ottoman with an excitingly interesting book are irrevocably a thing of the past. Now Olya spent every evening in the company of a new mentor and her dubious friends. Naturally, the aunt could not help but notice the changes that had taken place with her niece, and, once finding a pack of cigarettes in her coat pocket, she decided to share the unpleasant news with her sister. But Olya's mother did not want to believe in the seriousness of the situation, because who can know and understand her only child better than her? “Don't take it to heart, everything will work out,” she wrote to her sister. After all, I did not want to return to the old boring life in a small provincial town, where from year to year nothing happens and does not change. But I still had to interrupt my business trip.

The company of disadvantaged teenagers, among whom was our heroine, decided to "have fun" a little, and did not find a place for drinking alcoholic drinks more protected from prying condemning glances, like the roof of a nine-story building. During the investigation, none of them remembered how Olya Kostereva could have fallen from this ill-fated roof. The girl was saved by a miracle, in the form of a huge pile of snow accumulated due to heavy snowfall, and tree branches that slowed down the fall. The result is a concussion and multiple open and closed fractures in both legs.

After being discharged from the hospital, Olya and her parents returned to their hometown. Some, now former classmates, tried to start correspondence with her, but she did not respond to letters. Ten years later, I learned from her cousin that Olya still lives in that town, graduated from college, and works at a local factory. Her mother could no longer find an approach to her child, so she did not fully understand how this could happen to her "exemplary" daughter and blaming her sister for everything. Where was the mistake in upbringing?

In order to take place as a person, first of all, you need a feeling of a sense of your own worth, a need for others. But for this you do not need to close on the family. It is necessary for the parent himself to be puzzled by the problems of the external world, then the formation of the child will be more intelligible and less painful for all family members. When raising a child, we educate, first of all, ourselves, or in ourselves, a more intent and critical look at our actions and habits. Time shows that the "real" people are not good obedient children in childhood, but those whom parents from an early age teach to make important decisions on their own, listening to the arguments of their parents, and not to orders.