Adoption of a baby

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

The number of orphans in modern Russia has exceeded one million. According to statistics, about 30% of these children will fall into criminal groups, and 14% will commit suicide. The only way to help these children is to give them a home, family, warmth and love. The ideal way is adoption of a baby … Within Russia, only 1% of orphans are adopted. About 3 thousand young Russians are adopted by foreigners. Recently, negative attitudes towards foreign adoptions have sharply increased. In the State Duma, a proposal was made to declare a moratorium on them. You know the reason. Thirteen orphans from the countries of the former USSR died due to the fault of their adoptive parents. These facts were covered in the media.

"Russian children should stay in Russia" - this is the slogan put forward by some fighters for children's rights. “We need to ban foreign adoptions,” one of them said. “Yes, I know that a bleak future awaits them here. Many will die before they reach adulthood. But here they will die a natural death when they are simply killed there (abroad).” …

What kind of monster is this foreign adoption? What does it bring to Russian orphans - good or evil? Natasha Shaginyan-Needham, Executive Director of the American agency "Happy Families", and Yang Kim, Executive Director of the Norwegian organization "Children of the World / Verdens Barn", helped me a lot in preparing this article.

The first myth: "They need a free servant. That is why they adopt Russian orphans."

“Our goal,” says Yang Kim, “is to find a family for orphans. It is better to grow up at home, among loving people, than in a shelter. A Norwegian family that has decided to adopt a child is not at all interested in which country he is from. It is important for them that they can give their love and care to someone who needs it.

Natasha Shahinyan-Needham: "There are very few children in the US who are eligible for adoption. In addition, adoption is a long process that takes years. In Russia, adoption takes from 9 to 15 months. The process of international adoption is not easy at all, although it takes relatively little In addition, there are many people who believe it is very important to save a child's life. (Author's note - in many cases, foreign adoption is the only way to save the life of a child with serious health problems.) that they can give their love and care to another child, and maybe several."

And about the free servant … Think for yourself. Spend on all sorts of expenses from 30 to 60 thousand dollars, go through the entire procedure of checks, transfer the wait, fly to Russia and back several times, completely change your lifestyle, let alone the medical and behavioral problems of the child that need to be addressed - that's all in order to have a free housekeeper ??? It’s cheaper to find it through the rental office closest to your home.

So, one of the main reasons for the adoption of Russian children by foreign citizens is the desire to reduce the number of orphans and help them grow up into full-fledged people. Therefore, prohibiting foreign adoptions is at least inhumane.

The second myth: "Anyone can adopt a child, if there is a desire and money"

Potential adoptive parents are people who have reached the age of majority. Marital status does not matter, but married couples are usually preferred. You need a medical certificate of mental and physical health, a permanent income (according to Yang Kim, children are adopted mainly by families with an income above the average), no criminal record, the consent of all adult family members. The family carefully prepares for adoption of a baby, future parents take special courses. Experts study their life. The agency accompanies the family at all stages of adoption, as well as in subsequent years. Provides sociological, psychological, medical and legal assistance. Parents' willingness to raise foster children is tested - after all, most children have behavioral or physical problems. These requirements are very strictly enforced. “We have no room for error,” says Yang, “if the family does not meet some criteria, we refuse to adopt. Otherwise, the amount of grief on Earth will not decrease, but increase.

Parents-to-be undergo the strictest selection and training.

Myth three: "By indulging foreign adoptions, we squander our gene pool"

Children who are adopted by foreigners are subject to adoption by law, but for some reason cannot be adopted in Russia. These are children with health problems, physical disabilities, developmental disabilities, children over one year old.

Children adopted by foreigners have no chance of finding a family within Russia. Therefore, the ban on foreign adoptions will deprive these children of any opportunity to find a family and grow up as normal people. And the word "our" in relation to the useless orphans sounds hypocritical and absurd.

Myth Four: "Most children adopted by foreigners suffer from abuse and are not protected in any way. Selling children for organ transplants is widespread."

The health and living standards of children adopted by foreign families are monitored by the child protection authorities in this country, the immigration service and the judiciary. The agency through which the adoption was made, too, as they say, "keeps its finger on the pulse." The foster family is under strict supervision and control. According to Natasha Shahinyan-Needham, in her practice there were no cases of violence against adopted children. Yang Kim has not heard of such cases either.

The rights of adopted children are protected by the legislation of a foreign state and are strictly observed.

But what about the 13 children who died due to the fault of their adoptive parents? The point is that these children were adopted through private brokers. Private intermediaries do not have Russian and foreign accreditation. Their activity lies in the fact that they facilitate the adoption procedure for those who wish. In this case, future parents do not undergo any selection and preparation. Such an intermediary disappears after the adoption procedure is completed and the payment due has been received. Parents are left alone in an unfamiliar situation with a problem child. Things are not going the way they wanted. Lack of proper preparation and ignorance of what awaits them leads foster parents to extreme irritation. Some of them are mentally unstable people. Irritation builds up. The consequences of this are unpredictable.

Since 1994, 13 children have died of abuse - what could be worse? But do not whip up an already heavy impression. Since the same 1994, about 33 thousand children have been adopted by foreigners. Most have adapted well in their new families and are happy. So really, because of thirteen mentally unbalanced people, we will deny happiness to tens of thousands of orphans ???

Private brokers should be banned. It's not even about their dishonesty. Among them there are conscientious people and professionals. It's just that one person cannot provide the entire range of necessary checks and procedures.

Myth 5: "Most foreign adoptions are canceled. Then these children are thrown into the street."

According to statistics, less than 1% of adoptions made by US citizens are canceled. Canceled adoption is caused by serious behavioral problems in the child. In most cases, foster parents are looking for another family that can take care of the child according to his special needs.

For example, a child with an obvious burdened heredity developed aggression. He tortured pets, in particular, he liked to break the dog's paws, beat his brothers and sisters, tried to drown his neighbor's daughter, attacked and strangled his adoptive mother, ruined things. He posed a threat to those around him. Parents who had no experience with such children were unable to cope with it. They found another family who had this experience and transferred the child there. The child has perfectly adapted to the new family. Thanks to the care of his new parents, his aggressiveness subsided.

Occasionally - and there are really few such cases - when foster parents return a child to a Russian orphanage.

The legislation of some countries (for example, Norway) recognizes the adoption as irreversible. Most adoptions are happy. But if the relationship is terminated, then the child is looking for another family, in accordance with his needs and in his interests. No one is left on the street.

Orphanage vs foreign adoption

I don't know if you've been to Russian orphanages. Most likely no. Most Russians do not imagine the real state of affairs. American pediatrician Jane Aronson has repeatedly traveled to Russia as part of a program to help orphans. She has repeatedly published reports of her trips on the Internet. This is what one of the shelters looked like:

"The building was dilapidated, although the light from the huge windows flooded the rooms. There were very few attendants. Diapers were changed irregularly. Babies lay for hours in urine and feces. The older children walking on the site were dressed in old and dirty clothes. They did not have toys. An old unplaned board with rusty nails sticking out in different directions was a favorite toy of a three-year-old. Sharp nails and shards of glass were scattered everywhere. The room for preschool children left a terrifying impression. to the side, and this was their only way of dealing with boredom. The unnatural silence standing in the entire shelter was startling. Apart from the frightened crying when we entered the room, there was no sound. Even when we came close to them and stroked them, they did not smile, do not trust us, and did not make contact."

Foster children adopted by citizens of the United States and Norway are considered equal to children born in these countries. They receive medical care, education, and enjoy the same rights and freedoms. They are full-fledged citizens of the country where they were adopted. They grow up in love and comfort, have a family, parents, often brothers and sisters. Problems brought by these children from shelters are tuberculosis (30% of children), hepatitis A, B and C (98%), syphilis (10%), worms, lice and other parasites (19%), vitamin deficiency, anemia, zinc deficiency, eczema, developmental delay and others - have been successfully overcome. The kids are happy. And their foster families are happy.

And now you, on the basis of these data, decide for yourself what is foreign adoption of a baby - good or evil.