Falling in love mistakes

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

You smile at passers-by, constantly spin in front of the mirror and are afraid to cook, as you will definitely oversalt! Yes, you fell in love! And all your thoughts are only about him. Needless to say, a great time awaits you. Just do not forget to take into account the previous experience - your own and that of other people, so that this time everything will turn out exactly as you dream.

How does being in love work?

Lovers really, in the truest sense of the word, lose their heads from love. This has been confirmed by the results of recent studies carried out by biochemists at the University of Milan. Scientists have found that in the blood of lovers, the level of a protein that activates the connection between nerve cells in the brain drops sharply, as a result of which all human reactions are significantly slowed down. The observation of biochemists was also confirmed by psychologists: in their opinion, the behavior of lovers is very similar to the behavior of people with a weakened nervous system - neurasthenics, especially in the initial periods of falling in love. True, later the mental balance of a person returns to normal.

From a psychological point of view, falling in love is little different from any other obsession. For example, you have an ultra-fashionable and very expensive handbag sunk into your soul. And now she is constantly looming before my eyes. Wherever you are, if one of the passers-by has it, you will notice it first. And after a while it seems that “everyone in the world except you” has it.

Falling in love is not the first stage of love, but an independent feeling. They develop and proceed each according to their own laws and are only outwardly similar to each other. There are many times more loves that do not turn into love than those that do; moreover, love can arise without being in love.

Falling in love was actively discussed on the Cleo forums - a feeling supported by hormones, dreams, fantasies, assumptions, the desire for emotional experiences, spring, vacation, the beach, short meetings, and so on.

Learn from mistakes

Here are the most common mistakes that we make out of great love for the brightest reasons:

1. Open book

You start texting him about how damn bored you are as soon as he moves a hundred meters away from you. If something funny happens to you, you tell it to him. As a result, his phone is hot from your calls.

At times you want to hug him so tightly, with all your love, so … that it can be dangerous to your health. As soon as you return from the street, you immediately tell him where you were, what you saw, how much it cost in stores and what you talked about with your friend.

It's just that you are for an honest and open relationship, you were taught this way in childhood. Why hide and wag? If you want to call, you call, you want to talk about how Olya's mother is doing with her new husband, - you tell me.

Conclusion: trust is very good and commendable, but you shouldn't abuse it. Do not force events so that the relationship does not burn out ahead of time. An open book does not arouse curiosity.

2. In relationships - with the head

He's the one you've been looking for! You are together all the time. At this stage, there is a high probability of becoming hostages to your own bed, having fun, reading, eating, drinking - everything is within its boundaries. And guess when a group of rescuers will be sent to your search.

It may turn out that you didn’t like beer before and didn’t know anything about football, but now you prefer the dark and support the correct teams. Your own interests and friends become distant and unnecessary. In short, a complete merger and acquisition.

It's really bad when, when asked what kind of music you like, you answer: "The same as you, dear."

Conclusion: complete harmony on such an island for two newly born twins will not last long. Very soon, one of you, namely the one whose tastes are adopted by the other partner, will feel boredom.

The phase when people become one in everyday life is important for the development of relationships. But here you have to feel a fine line when affection turns into irritation.

It is possible that your loved one is not so happy that you canceled another dinner with the girls and decided to watch football with him and his friend. Give him a chance to miss a little.

3. I will decide everything myself

Thanks to falling in love, you feel a surge of strength, an unprecedented rise. I would like to make everyone around happy. Therefore, you agree on repair work at a lonely friend, which will be carried out by your beloved (after all, he fixes faucets so well, hangs curtains and moves furniture). You already know who you will have dinner with on Friday night, where you will be on Valentine's Day, to whom he will lend his DVDs … Your initiative has no limit.

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Conclusion: what can I say, men do not like when people decide for them. Moreover, any person needs their own area of responsibility.

In our age, gender roles are not so important, but still do not forget that a man is a conqueror. Do not take away from him the opportunity to show the appropriate qualities. Where are the guarantees that a little later you will not howl from the fact that you are tired of taking the initiative in a relationship? Think you want to cheer and motivate him all his life? Maybe it's easier not to crush him with your initiative at the very beginning?

4. He's the best

During the period of passionate meetings and partings, it seems to you that he is exactly what you imagined him to be in your dreams! The kindest, smartest, strongest …

Conclusion: all this may not have anything to do with a real person. While you are still little familiar (even if it seems to you that you have known him for a hundred years), it is highly likely that you attribute to him those qualities that he does not have. And you don't want to notice the flaws.

During the period of falling in love, all his oddities and shortcomings are perceived as cute raisins or are not noticed at all. And then they can turn into a problem. Be consistent. If for you now his five-year-old daughter from his first marriage is not a problem for you, and you attribute his every night a couple of bottles of beer to a strong love for the taste of this drink, then you do not need to beat the plates with shouts of "alcoholic" or demand that he stop dating his daughter … He will not change, but most likely, he will say: "I didn't hide anything from you." There is usually nothing to answer to this. So remember your principles and immediately decide whether this man is right for you or not. If the answer is no, then you shouldn't "try on" it "just in case."

5. Love will do everything for us

Some of us at the very beginning of a relationship firmly believe that the main thing is to love each other strongly, and everything else will follow. If something does not work out, then they state: "It means that we do not love each other much enough."

Conclusion: do not forget that love is a work that constantly requires new investments.

A wonderful book about love was written by the philosopher and psychologist Erich Fromm, in which he explores all the subtleties of this concept.

No one is immune from mistakes. And if such "insurance" existed, it is unlikely that it would be in demand. After all, to fall in love, to be sad, to believe, to be mistaken is so great. Falling in love is given.

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