Already unbearable to marry! Chronicle of early marriage

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

The sooner the better? If this question was about reading or, say, going in for sports, then perhaps. Start at least from the cradle. But issues such as family and marriage, as they say, are not solved right away. Where and why there are early alliances, where husband and wife together with difficulty gain thirty-two years. And some manage to run to the registry office earlier than to the passport office. So who can I ask where such desperate persons come from, who, not giving a damn about the importance of study, career growth and their own carefree youth, rush into the abyss of family happiness?

The answer is simple - just ask me. Since I myself am in many ways an example of how not to do, I can share, so to speak, my experience. Which, in my case, was definitely the son of difficult mistakes. So, why did I end up at the altar, barely turning eighteen, while having already lived a year in the so-called civil marriage?

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It's simple: I fell in love. You know, only at the age of sixteen can you fall in love so as not for one second to be puzzled by the question of whether a gentleman is right for you. Yes? Are you sure? My chosen one was a musician (my choice is a classic example of idiocy and female stupidity). My beloved brilliantly “fried” a solo on an electric guitar, sang on “apartment buildings”, wrote a great song called “Green Entrance”, and all this (naturally) was enough for me to understand: my destiny is in front of me. In many ways, this was the case.

However, fate is sometimes the villainess. In addition to the guitar solo, the chosen one did not know how to do anything. I didn't even want to lace up my shoes, I walked without laces. Despised the whole world. He loved me, and so that our passions resembled a raging whirlpool. The way we fought with him, I never fought with anyone else. The way we yelled … oh, youth, youth.

But living with her beloved turned out to be absolutely impossible. Yes, this was already clear not only to my family, friends, relatives and his mother. It was clear even to me.

What have I done? Do you think we broke up? No matter how it is! I married him and gave birth to a child. This is where the real horror movie began. As a rule, in any early marriage the most "delicious" begins when a young mother, who herself may not have received a maturity certificate, is forced (who, I wonder if not herself) to sit with the child while the newly-minted spouse returns to his usual way of life - friends, "Apartment owners", companies of like-minded people. He writes love songs, you are thinking about how to feed the child and, if possible, not forget yourself.

Yes, the whole burden of early marriage in 99% of cases falls on a young wife. After I survived, outgrew my first, early marriage, I've seen it repeated many times in other girls. And it was always equally difficult, almost always such a marriage carried disappointment and the pain of loss. Almost always a divorce. Then, the question arises, why was it necessary to get married? Why get married? And isn't it better to wait a bit than to get into such a union, almost doomed to disintegration?

I cannot say with certainty, but, guided by my own experience and accumulated life observations, I believe that we girls are being pushed in the back by a lack of self-love. Where is he from - the tenth question. Someone has a difficult relationship with their father, someone (as in my case) - with their mother. Someone is struggling with the divorce of their own parents. No matter.

The main thing is that there is a feeling of oppressive emptiness, when you need at least someone whom you could love, in whom you could believe. Even if not the same as it should be, but his own, who will love and accept you for who you are.

Oh, girls, it's a dangerous idea to try to find love for yourself in this way. Isn't it better to think about what exactly you yourself want from this life. For yourself, not for someone else? Who would you like to become? Do you want to drive a car? Do you know a foreign language? What could you get carried away with? Paint? Sew your own collection? Maybe even create your own girl group, having learned to play the guitar from a self-study guide. All of this is a great way to get to know yourself better, to feel respect for yourself. And there, you see, a knight in a white Mercedes, with a bouquet of flowers in his hands, will instantly gallop up after such and such a clever and beautiful woman. And he will invite you to get married, and you will say “yes” with a clear conscience, because you will be sure that he is what you need!