My Favorite Little Muck

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

For all normal people, spring begins in March. As a last resort, not from the first, but from 9: as you wake up after yesterday. In our country, it is somehow silly to talk about spring in March, wrapping yourself in a warm scarf, drinking warm milk from a cold and looking at a dull gray landscape. That is why spring comes to us in May. Even at the legislative level, so that no one was mistaken, they explained: "May 1 is the day of spring." In the spring, cats liven up, skirts are shortened and a hot period for travel agencies begins. Citizens are in a hurry to buy a ticket to warm countries, not particularly trusting the calendar, which claims that summer will come soon.

Citizens want for their money a warm sea, sun, fruits, discos, shops, water parks and the complete absence of any worries that they have enough for the rest of the year. All the more exotic and not quite healthy look foreigners, with burning eyes buying vouchers somewhere to the island of Muhu - a farm without electricity and standard amenities, or, even cooler, to the Russian taiga, from where you can never return to your hamburgers and comics, but get stuck somewhere between the molars of a brown bear. And we are not able to understand that citizens live so calmly and comfortably that they are ready to pay a lot of money for adventure and a dose of adrenaline in their blood. Some buy exotic tours, others jump with a parachute: spleen, and not some kind of AIDS at all - a disease of the twenty-first century. The disease of many, but not all. Spleen is a disease that is completely unfamiliar to, for example, my mom.

People like my mother exist on our planet as a counterbalance to the eternally bored people who dream of adventure. These people attract adventures, absurdities, absurdities and funny incidents to themselves, like a needle magnet.

They may not go anywhere, never talk to strangers, and nevertheless, constantly get involved in all sorts of situations. For example, come to a concert with the whole family and, finding people in their seats, find out that the ticket is dated tomorrow. Everything would be fine, but it turns out that you can convince the usher, the administrator, and the family of the correctness of the tickets!

I must say, I did not immediately develop a healthy critical attitude and sincere curiosity about Mommy's demonstration performances. I remember how my mother's answers to my vacation whining annoyed me, they say bored, there is nothing to do, everyone left. Mom answered: "What's the problem? No one will entertain you, learn to entertain yourself!" What is the homespun truth here, I understood when I learned to laugh at myself and, along the way, amuse others. Now I'm thinking: is the sense of humor inherited? In general, we can say that a healthy curiosity about mommy's show talents (aka Little Muck) was born in tandem with a sense of humor, which made it possible to evaluate life situations as comic, and not at all to place tragic accents anywhere. And when I realized that I was on the first of April all year round, life became better, life became more fun!

Situation 1. Invigorating adrenaline

Tell me, can you imagine being asked to keep three cute dancing Japanese mice for the night, but do you agree? I can already. And the fact that at night they manage to escape and scare the sleeping people, who are neither sleep nor spirit about such a neighborhood? What, I wonder, do you think when you wake up in the middle of the night and see a little mouse rushing around your room, exactly along the moonlit path? I can even imagine the feeling of doom of those people who, having clarified the circumstances of nightmares, are amicably looking for three tiny mice in a three-room apartment, which have the peculiarity of multiplying at an incredible speed! The funny thing is that they FIND them! And what kind of extreme rest can be compared with a visit to the chairman of a housing association and neighbors at the entrance after the invasion of an army of dancing mice ?!

Situation 2. unhealthy meat, and therefore now, at the request of the client in the store, you can buy chicken WITHOUT FEET! Moreover, she will hand the girl a purse and a shopping bag and send her for the second chicken …

This Little Muck of our family manages to adjust tricks to everyone without making any discounts on age and gender. Things are even worse, such Torments manage to plant the bacillus of madness in strangers! Well, how can you, returning from a business trip, get on a train in the opposite direction and wake up at the entrance to Narova ?!

Who would think to smell the liquid from warts in a pharmacy and almost lose an eye, literally bumping into a stream of ammonia? It would seem that it does not happen to anyone, but the incident is that, for example, it did not occur to me to react to the frightened pharmacist with indignation: "Why aren't you writing, what is dangerous, but if I LIKE ?!" I represent the face of a pharmacist. Probably, it never occurred to her to lick the liquid from the warts!

Situation 4. Both laughter and sin

I remember how in my early years, returning in the morning from a party-disco-date, I had to listen to anxious parents and reassure them, they say, everything is in order, maniacs have a day off today. And then somehow I had to be in the shoes of the mother of a partying teenager, when my Muk was late as a guest. She galloped along the windows and watched the rustles in the entrances. And then Gulena showed up and it was my turn to read crime reports and preach the cult of the telephone card and the call home. Mom listened, listened, and then said: "Why were you worried about me? When I left the guests I armed myself just in case!" and takes out of the bag … an iron! I think the laughter in the middle of the night greatly frightened the neighbors. It was in pictures that I presented how my Little Muk - a meter with a cap and in skates, fearlessly fights off a huge bulwark with a Tefalev iron!

And there are many such cases. It's a pity, we don't write it down right away, otherwise it would be possible to publish a manual for bored comrades who buy expensive exotic tours for themselves and complain about the monotony of life and vitamin deficiency.

True, if one draws conclusions from the above situations, one might get the impression that coexistence with my mom is a continuous carnival and confetti. Not at all! Sometimes you just want to exclaim: "Mommy, I love you so much, but sometimes you drive me mad!" Like any normal person, she gets tired, angry, offended, sick, worried, trying to insist on her own where it is not necessary, sometimes categorical and irritable, unfair and grumpy. As I. As we all do.

We quarrel and make up, cry and laugh, enter the peak and float to the surface - in general, we lead the ordinary life of an ordinary family. But, honestly, I believe that many everyday troubles and bad mood recede before my dear Little Torment's ability to become a child and just play pranks and mischief.

Mommy, I love you!