For the general or for the lieutenant?

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Let's not kid ourselves: size matters. The size of his salary. So who is it better to marry: a poor man (he is so unspoiled and promising!) Or a rich man (but he is so jaded and spoiled!)? Or maybe it is wiser to look for a middle ground? Our heroines have already made a choice, and each can justify her own.

Rich - everything is easier and more pleasant

Ilona, 28 years old: “During my student years, I worked as an administrator in a hotel. The furnishings were luxurious. I remember how I was afraid of going to the "royal suite" - its daily cost exceeded my salary several times. It seemed to me that absurd millionaires should rest in such apartments. However, a more experienced colleague of mine said, "The worst customers stay in cheap rooms."

Over time, I realized that she was right. I follow the same rule when choosing a man. Poor gentlemen are not for me. I have not met a man of low income without complexes and anger towards people. I noticed that such individuals dislike beautiful girls, accuse them of an easy life, a career “through bed”.

Middle-class men (I include hiring managers in this category, not business owners) are also not the best option. They disappear for days at work, wanting to catch up with their boss, earn more, acquire another status item that will bring them closer to the next social level. They have a high list of requirements for a woman. Often they rely on the chosen one, believing that a successful personal choice contributes to success in life. Education, a good position, and appearance are important for them. It matters which family you are from.

It's easier and more pleasant with the rich. Many girls believe that in order to date a wealthy man, you need to be a fantastic beauty. I can say: the main thing is for this person to feel comfortable with you. The winner is the one who knows how to listen, does not expose her interests, knowingly accepts the second role. At the same time, one must be an individual, with one's own goals, abilities, and be able to interest.

Just beauty and sex for the rich are not the most trump cards (although if you have something to show in this area, your chances are significantly increased!)"

Average income is the golden mean

Margarita, 32 years old: “There have been men in my life with different income levels. Over time, it became clear: it is best when the man of my dreams has an average stable income. Desirable higher than mine. I married just that. He was making good money all the time - twice as much as me. I like such men, because I transfer to my family what I saw in my parents' relationship. Both contribute to the budget, there is planning for large purchases and vacations, people feel like mutually protected participants in the same marathon.

There is no fear that the relationship is somehow tied to money (and even more so, they are not built on it), and there is no fear of losing everything (you will not be able to lose everything, you will only get half of it) in the event of any force majeure.

I have never regretted my choice, even though in the circle of my friends I saw a different level of life and prospects. But I can't say that there are no problems with money in our relationship. Over the years, the financial proportion began to change. The original 2: 1 option (where “2” is the spouse's earnings) are now in the 2: 3 stage. It is morally difficult for me to earn more than my husband, but I understand that this is also my fault: you need to be more careful in your desires. When you ask the Universe for a man who earns "medium-stable", you must add - "taking into account inflation."

Poor but promising

Anya, 29 years old: “I married a man, to put it mildly, insecure. However, he had brilliant intellectual data and, accordingly, professional prospects. My husband worked at a research institute in his technical specialty, at the same time he was engaged in scientific activities in graduate school. After the wedding, I got a job at a company with a normal salary.

Gradually, the income increased. We bought an apartment, which we could only dream of before, paid off the mortgage in just three years.

I gave birth to two children, I am engaged in their upbringing and housekeeping. The husband works in two organizations - a commercial and a research institute. Our family has a decent income and all kinds of state benefits for children. Of course, the spouse's earnings in the research institute are much lower than the salary in the company, however, thanks to his scientific activities, we have the prospect of going abroad, with a clear improvement in the standard of living.

I chose him not according to the property qualification - in this regard, he was inferior to many. However, the future husband stood out favorably against the general background with abilities, ambitions and level of development. Life has shown that I was not mistaken."

Expert opinion

Comments by Maria Sergeeva, consultant psychologist, teacher of psychological disciplines at Leningrad State University. A. S. Pushkin:

- Practice shows that women who have relied solely on financial security are often disappointed in their chosen one. If money is very important to you, the best way is to gain personal financial independence. Women who have realized their abilities are more confident in themselves, better cope with the role of wife and mother than those who have given up the need to develop, including financially. When a woman has enough funds of her own, the well-being of the partner is not primary. In this case, the person's assessment is more objective, and, as a result, there are more chances to make the right choice.