Why do we fall in love with the bad guys?

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

The 26-year-old Varvara goes on dates with “good smart boys” every two or three months, whom her mother finds with enviable consistency. The girl does not dare to tell her mother that she is extremely bored with "nerds" and quiet people, and therefore prefers to pretend that she is trying very hard to fall in love with a calm homebody, but this does not work out for her. Running out of the cafe after another meeting organized by her mother with a bespectacled intellectual, Varya hurries to a brutal gentleman who is waiting for her nearby on a motorcycle frightening grandmothers passing by. Varvara has a weakness for the "bad guys" and cannot help herself.

Each of us at one time or another in his life was such a Barbarian - a lover of "bad guys": rude, harsh, brutal, with whom you forget about what stability is, but you always remember what passion and adventure are. Someone is limited to school years and, growing up, begins to look at gentlemen in a different way, choosing serious and reliable men for their husbands. Others, however, cannot “recover” from a strange “illness” and with ram's stubbornness step on the same rake: they suffer, cry, make a promise to themselves never again to mess with womanizers and hooligans, but they cannot keep it. And they don't want to. The people around them grab their heads and try to reason with the unlucky lover of "bad guys", warn against possible mistakes, try to introduce her as if by chance with a positive man in all respects, but in vain - she will again spend Friday evening with the "fine bastard."

Psychologists explain the craving for "bad guys" in different ways, but they agree on one thing - this passion is similar to an addiction to sweets: girls understand that they need to eat right, but they still buy high-calorie cakes instead of healthy vegetables.

Let's try to figure out what the fair sex likes so much about the “bad guys”.

They are strong and brave

They constantly get into fights, they are not afraid of high speeds, they like to take risks and spit on all conventions: they have their own life and their own rules. Women are attracted to leadership qualities and the ability to be dominant in relationships, as they say: "I want him to bark once, and I immediately obeyed." For some reason, good, honest, kind and romantic men are perceived as weaklings a priori, and girls do not even look in their direction. Of course, not everyone "takes the bait" of brutality and overconfidence, but some of us do not feed on bread - just let us experience the thrill.

They can be "healed"

Surprisingly, not only the courageous "shell" attracts women in the "bad guys" - we are sure that a vulnerable soul is hidden behind brute force. Either numerous films like "Three meters above the sky" have such an influence, or the maternal instinct, expressed in the desire to warm and protect, - but we women, with tenacity that can only be envied, are trying to tame these wild "animals" and to heal their mental trauma (which certainly must be, otherwise the hero-lover is not so interesting). Needless to say, transformation occurs only in isolated cases? Most of the "bad guys" remain "bad" - they are happy with everything.

It is not only a courageous "shell" that attracts women to be "bad guys" - we are sure that a vulnerable soul is hidden behind brute force.

Animal instinct

There is such an opinion: women fall in love with brutal hooligans, because they see them as an ideal partner for procreation. In the wild, females give preference to stronger males, being confident that just such a “man” is able to ensure the emergence of healthy, strong offspring. Modern women also pay attention to the "leaders of the pack", feeling protected next to them. Whether it is worth relying on instincts when choosing a life partner, each woman decides for herself. However, it is difficult to disagree with the fact that in addition to the "primitive" interest, a man should also arouse purely human respect.

"Bad guys" - a way to protest

As a child, she could not take a step without parental overprotection: “Where did you go? What will you do? Who will you meet? Come back before 8 o'clock and not a minute later. " As an adult, such a girl will begin to live the way she wants - to go out late, have romances with the most "cheeky" guys at the institute and wear short skirts, in which it is very inconvenient to climb on a motorcycle. Even if she realizes deep down in her soul - this is wrong and cannot last forever, she will have to come to her senses someday - but now it is so good! And the "bad guy" is a great opportunity to prove to yourself and others that parental control is over.

The famous dancer Dita von Teese very aptly compared the "bad guys" with hamburgers and fries: "Bad guys are like fast food: nice, but not for constant consumption." No matter how much you love rolls with cutlets, one day you still have to switch to celery and cottage cheese - health will force you.