How to step over the barrier of unhappy love and fall in love again

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

“I will never love anyone again, all men are bastards,” - with tears in your eyes, you convince your friend after parting with another boyfriend. It doesn't matter what caused the separation, the only important thing is that now you are in insanely painful and it seems that nothing and no one can drown out this pain. However, some time passes, and you feel that you have almost recovered from the loss, and a handsome man appeared next to you, who, with his courtship, hints at a closer relationship. You are increasingly thinking about possible love, but are panicky afraid to be disappointed again.

This happens to almost all women who have gone through a painful breakup. They stubbornly blow on the water, despite the fact that they burned themselves on a completely different drink. And this is normal, because in this way the nervous system tries to prevent another stress. She already had to endure a lot, she does not need a repetition of the performance. If the former man cheated, betrayed, was a gambling addict, alcoholic or "mama's boy", then the girl, for obvious reasons, looks more closely at each new candidate so as not to "run into" a copy of her ex-boyfriend. Often, this "magnifying glass" ends with nothing, and the woman is left alone.

But you can't spend your whole life in splendid isolation, fearing that you will be betrayed again.

Someone understands this before others and finds the strength to again believe a loved one. Others are so deeply immersed in the swamp of their own fears and prejudices that then they do not even understand how to get out of it. For those who cannot cross the barrier of unhappy love in any way, "Cleo" lends a helping hand and suggests using the tips below.

Don't think about your ex

We understand that this is really difficult, but it will become easier over time. You need to get out of your head all thoughts about who you broke up with. This is necessary in order not to compare new acquaintances with a former boyfriend. Constantly remembering the pain that he caused you, you risk in every boyfriend to see at least a traitor and a traitor. Special thanks to the stereotype that convinces us that "all men - to …". In this situation, it is really very difficult to dare at least for some kind of relationship. But if you forget about the hurt and pain, then you can try to plunge into the maelstrom of new passions. Who knows, maybe it is in him that you will find your happiness?

Constantly remembering the pain that he caused you, you risk in every boyfriend to see at least a traitor and a traitor.

Philosophically

Try to treat the situation philosophically: if you broke up with this man, then you didn't need him. You will not begin to groom and cherish a splinter that ended up in your finger, expecting that one day it will turn into a beautiful flower? No, you will get it out as soon as possible and you will be glad to get rid of this foreign body. So it is here: if a break happened, then only so that you meet a new man - loving, sincere, in general, yours. Is it possible that because of some splinter that you have already "pulled out", you will miss the love of your life?

Understand yourself

You can blame the man as much as you want for the end of your relationship, but have you ever thought that you could also be guilty? Psychologists say: often "unhappy love" means only one thing: the partner did not live up to your expectations. This does not mean that he is bad, it only says that you did not want the same thing. Perhaps you were too demanding, because you imagined the relationship in a completely different way, but now you are worried, puzzling over the question: "Why did he behave this way?" Because I could not do otherwise! When you realize that you are also responsible for the happy end or the complete collapse of a love affair, it will become much easier to open up to a new feeling.

Psychologists say: often "unhappy love" means only one thing: the partner did not live up to your expectations.

Go on dates

You don't have to start building a new love right away, you can just enjoy the freedom from past relationships by spending evenings with a nice man who really likes you. Raise your self-esteem (surely after parting, she fell below the baseboard), make eyes, flirt - in general, do everything that an attractive woman does, who at the same time feels that she is admired by a member of the opposite sex. Over time, positive emotions will crowd out negative ones, and you will be ready to open up to new love.

Psychologists advise taking a break after a breakup so as not to project problems from past relationships onto new ones. If we talk about the duration of the "break", then experts assure that six months will be enough, although there are, of course, no norms and standards in this matter. The main thing is not to force yourself to fall in love and do not try to drown out the feeling that has appeared. Do not go against yourself, listen to your desires and be happy

Photo: fotobank