Elizabeth Gilbert: Love. And love again

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

She was called the role model and guru of women in the 21st century. With her books and example, the American writer Elizabeth Gilbert has inspired millions of girls to make dramatic changes. The writer herself has often dared to drastically change her life. And recently she officially announced another major change in her personal.

In 2006, she published a book that turned the worldview of many women - the bestseller "Eat, Pray, Love: One Year in the Life of a Woman Traveling in Italy, India and Indonesia in Search of EVERYTHING." Gilbert began writing at that difficult moment that women are going through after a divorce. Not after a painful breakup that leaves you devastated, but after the marriage ends, which the woman calls "a real nightmare."

“Eat, Pray, Love” is a memoir of a girl seeking herself in various countries and spiritual practices. The book was on the New York Times bestseller list for 88 weeks (!). Some critics sarcastically called the bestseller a "calculated business decision" rather than a "cry from the heart." But be that as it may, for thousands of girls Elizabeth's experience helped to break the deadlock and gain self-confidence. She was called a spiritual guide, but Gilbert preferred to be humble.

“I always keep in mind the simple fact that I am not a guru. For this job, I do not have sufficient qualifications - neither spiritual nor psychological. The role of the guru is to be a teacher, a master. I know for sure that I am eternal and not the best student."

A few years later, Hollywood released a film based on the book with Julia Roberts in the title role. In Watkins' Mind Body Spirit magazine's list of the 100 Most Influential Spiritual Leaders of Our Time for 2012, Elizabeth was ranked sixth.

But do you think she calmed down?

In 2007, Gilbert married Jose Nunes, the prototype of the book hero Felipe. The lovers did not at all seek to legitimize the relationship, just Jose was detained at the border upon arrival in the United States and deported. In order to avoid such problems in the future, the couple decided to get married. Once again a married lady, Elizabeth writes a new book, this time about the pitfalls of marriage. Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage was published in 2010.

“Marriage is far more beneficial for men than for women,” Gilbert tells readers. - Married guys are happier, live longer and earn more. Married girls live and earn less than single girls. They are more likely to suffer from depression and abuse. It has always been that way. So it is now. How to start a family so that a woman does not lose too much?"

Liz has an interesting theory:

"What if enlightenment can be found not only on a lonely mountaintop or in a monastery, but also at the kitchen table, where we have to put up with the most annoying and annoying flaws in our spouse every day?"

“In today's industrialized Western society, where I come from, the person you choose as your spouse is perhaps the most vivid reflection of your personality,” the writer argues. And there is something in it.

In July, Liz's life changed dramatically again. She broke up with her husband. “I am parting with the man many of you know as Felipe, the man with whom I fell in love at the end of the journey called" Eat, Pray, Love. " He has been my faithful companion for twelve years, and those years have been wonderful. We part as close friends. For very personal reasons,”the writer said on social media.

A couple of months later, the reason for the couple's divorce became known. Gilbert officially announced the affair with her friend, writer Raya Elias.

As Elizabeth wrote, Raya was diagnosed with pancreatic and liver cancer in the spring. There is no hope for a cure. Gilbert radically revised her schedule and decided to spend as much time as possible with her friend.

“She's my best friend, yes, but there is more. She is my role model, she is the person I travel with, my most reliable source of light, my fortitude, the person I trust the most. In short, she is MY MAN."

The star has been friends with Elias for 15 years.

Raya was born in Aleppo, at the age of 8 she moved with her parents to the United States, to the town of Warren, Michigan. She did not know English at all, but she quickly got used to it. She was interested in music and fashion. In her youth she performed in punk bands. Elias's youth was generally very stormy - a hobby for drugs, Vicodin, alcohol. Prison, rehabilitation courses. She was even homeless for a while. But the girl managed to pull herself together.

She made a good career as a hairdresser (served as art director at Heidi's hair). And she met Elizabeth in this capacity. Friends advised the writer to turn to Elias for a "drastic hairstyle change." According to Gilbert, she was amazed to see the girl with "tattoos, guitars and motorcycles."

“She was the coolest person I have ever met. We became friends."

By the way, by that time, Raya was completely tied up with alcohol and illegal drugs.

Liz calls her friend brave and honest and assures that it was she who taught her courage and honesty. And it was thanks to Raya that Gilbert was able to open herself to the world. The writer clarified that it was because of her friend that she broke up with her husband. “Now we are together with Rai. I love her and she loves me. I entered the fight against her illness not just as her friend, but as a partner. And I know I am where I should be. I realized that I want to live without reservations, transparently. Now it is even more important than some kind of privacy, approval or understanding from others."

Finally, Elizabeth asked the fans about only one thing - positive. Send rays of love to them and Elias, if the heart is full of it.

Because love is a power that heals.

Of course, Gilbert's confession came as a shock. Though…

Experts believe that in such behavior, in fact, there is no perverse. Modern women often change their sexual preferences with age, and this phenomenon is not so new. As the head of one of the LGBT rights organizations, Ruth Hunt, explained to reporters, today ladies are carefully exploring their own sexuality, actively looking for themselves and at some point they stop "worrying about public opinion and feel confident the way they are."

On top of that, the trend towards legalization of same-sex marriage in different countries has allowed many women of respectable age to openly declare their orientation. And in their youth, they simply could not talk about it, without fear of being ridiculed or rejected by society.

But there is one more point of view. "Adventure, exciting discoveries and banal escapism as an escape from reality - this is what young women want today instead of marriage and motherhood," writes one of the orthodox Christian preachers in the United States. “They believe they will find happiness in adventure and travel. And even if they change their minds with age, their habitual selfish behavior will not allow them to accept the idea of self-sacrifice in conjugal love. Elizabeth Gilbert doesn't want to sacrifice herself for love. It's boring! She needs attention and drama. But any woman should invest in marriage, in marriage with a loved one. With the person with whom she wants to stay when she loses her beauty and youth. Not every man is worthy of this kind of investment, but that’s where the job is - choosing the right person.”