What to do if your husband is lazy

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Not every woman faces such a problem, but some really have a hard time: you come home from work, fall off your feet, but go to the kitchen, cook dinner, wash the dishes, then wash, iron your clothes for tomorrow and look like your beloved husband at it time quietly lies on the couch, clicks the remote control from the TV and to all requests to help at least somehow around the house replies: "I'm tired, I'm resting." And it doesn't matter that you are just as tired, if not stronger, that you actually came from one job to another: you are the mistress, you are supposed to be a hardworking bee. Although it is possible to argue with the latter: the conviction, existing from time immemorial, that a man is a breadwinner, and a woman is a keeper of the hearth, is no longer so categorical. Today, the fair sex work so much that sometimes they only find the strength to get to the doorstep of their home, what can we say about washing, ironing and cleaning?

It is not surprising that male laziness upsets women so much: the faithful also seems to live in this apartment, but he does not want to make even minimal efforts to maintain order in it. In his opinion, this is not a man's business. It's a shame that women find out that their husbands are parasites, as a rule, rather late. And then the question arises: what to do? If you reeducate, how? Leave? Well, what about love? Moreover, it becomes much more difficult to solve the dilemma when it comes not only about laziness associated with household responsibilities, but also about unwillingness to achieve heights in a career, it is interesting to spend leisure time, give up bad habits, etc. When such problems arise, psychologists advise, first of all, start with yourself. They are confident that the circumstances in which we find ourselves are our voluntary choice. The same applies to the lazy husband: we ourselves allowed him to be so. So, why can't you call some men other than "ordinary sloth" and what to do about it?

Broom, mop, rag

There are several versions that explain why men easily shift all household chores onto fragile female shoulders. First, upbringing affects. If your beloved grew up in a family where mom did absolutely everything, and dad did not even know what a rag and a broom were, then it is naive on your part to believe that in a relationship with you he will suddenly fall in love with cleaning and washing. Secondly, perhaps you yourself spoiled your man when, at the beginning of your family life, you tried to show what a good housewife you are. Well, he saw it and took note of it. And thirdly, some men simply turn on a defensive reaction when they see that their beloved women are trying to lead them too harshly and assertively. He is the owner of the family, in his opinion, he should "lead".

What to do? Be more cunning: tell your loved one that without him you cannot cope with one or another household chore (for example, replacing a light bulb in a chandelier) and only he can do something. When the man fulfills your request, be sure to thank him. And, most importantly, always say that his help and support is very important to you.

Middle peasant

Some men are content with little: they "sit" in the same position for 10 years, do not want to go for a promotion, refuse new offers and do not even think that they could earn more than they do now. Psychologists explain it this way: among the representatives of the stronger sex there are also modest, non-energetic, shy ones, and not everyone is ready to rush headlong up the career ladder at breakneck speed. Although there may be another reason: perhaps you initially took the position of a leader in this relationship and now demand from your lover to match you.

What to do? First of all, understand that a man does not have to be the same "battery" as you are. Each of us has our own temperament, and it is at least wrong to demand the behavior of a sanguine person from a melancholic. Decide for yourself if you want to stay with this person. If yes, then talk to each other more, talk about your desires, aspirations and try to understand your partner.

Indifference to life

If your man does not notice anything around him, except the TV and the computer, does not even think about how to spend the weekend in some way, or, even worse, abuses alcohol and gambling, then most likely you are not quite right from the very beginning. understood with whom they connected their lives. At first, we tend to idealize the soul mate, but over time, we discover new character traits and addictions of a man.

What to do? If the problem is only in apathy and craving for a computer, then you should interest your man in another, more interesting pastime. The main thing is not to press, men do not like this. Well, if the matter is in alcoholism and any other addiction, then it is better to immediately answer yourself to the question: "Am I ready to overcome all difficulties together with my beloved one?" If the answer is "no", then it is worth considering the prospects for the development of relations. Sooner or later they will end.