What to do if he is jealous

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Constant jealousy can destroy everything: from the relationship between a man and a woman to the psyche of a jealous person and a suspect. Being obsessed with the idea that we are being deceived, we are able to stay awake at night, rummage through our pockets in search of God knows what, study mail and SMS on the phone of a loved one, harass him with questions and cling to every little thing. As a rule, in such moments we do not find a place for ourselves and cannot think about anything else - only about the alleged betrayal. But what if you find yourself in the shoes of someone you are jealous of? After all, it is not at all easier for such a person, especially if he did not give reason for doubts. The author of "Cleo" is looking for an answer to the question: how to find the strength to calmly convince your beloved man from time to time that all his nagging is nothing more than a play of imagination?

“I love him, but it seems that at some moments I start to hate him. Especially when the boss calls me. We can talk for just a minute, and the husband is already beginning to have an attack of jealousy: "Why does he call, why so often, can't he call others, or what?" and so on. I don't think I can last long. " I accidentally overheard this monologue while standing in line at the post office. A beautiful young girl was telling her friend about her extremely jealous spouse, confusion and hope were read in her eyes that now her friend would give out something sacramental, capable of solving all problems at once. And she gave out: “And you are jealous of him! Just harass him with questions, defiantly check the pockets of your trousers and jackets, take his phone. Well, to understand how unpleasant it is."

Just think, if he is jealous of you, it means that he does not believe you.

Returning home, I thought - how effective is this method? Will such a trick help harmonize family relationships and cure a man from a psychological illness that undoubtedly worries him? Unlikely. Contrary to popular belief that offense is the best defense, mutual unfounded jealousy cannot change the behavior of an inveterate jealous person. Such an approach would rather only inflame an already nervous situation, without bringing with it the slightest hint of trust.

But it is trust that is the basis of a strong relationship. Just think, if he is jealous of you, it means that he does not believe you. And the problem may not be you at all. Perhaps his beloved girlfriend once betrayed him, or for some reason he thinks that he is not good enough for you, and at any moment you will find someone prettier, stronger and more successful. Be that as it may, if you have already contacted a jealous person and do not want to break this connection, you will have to be patient and do everything so that peace and tranquility come to your life together.

Forget jokes

Not about simple jokes, of course. We are talking about those innocent and sweet female jokes, which, according to many representatives of the fair sex, are capable of stirring up the interest of a partner. Something from the category: “And yesterday a passer-by gave me a rose. So unexpected and pleasant! We believe that by this we are hinting to our beloved: “I like others, keep your ears open,” and some of the men simply do not understand such hints. Especially those who are used to being jealous even of the pole. Therefore, if your loved one belongs to this category, then forget about such jokes. Away from sin.

Be attentive to your loved one

Do not skimp on pleasant words addressed to him: how do you admire his mind, how beautiful and strong he is, only he is able to make you happy, etc. Understand, often the problem lies in complexes that torment him since childhood. Not all men are confident predators; there are also more timid, and shy, and doubting ones. This does not mean that they are somehow different - we also suffer from low self-esteem. Therefore, help your loved one: compliment him, reinforce his confidence in himself and in your love for him.

No ex

Try not to mention your exes in your conversations. In general, it will be unpleasant for anyone, and there is nothing to say about jealous people. You yourself will cause a storm of inquiries and suspicions in the spirit: “Have you forgotten him yet? Maybe you can call him? Suddenly the feelings have not cooled down, then what are you doing with me? Remember - there are only you two, no exes, no colleagues.

Try not to mention your exes in your conversations.

Keep him informed

Unfortunately, jealous people want to completely control our life - all calls, movements and meetings. If you see in this approach a limitation of your personal freedom, then it is better to immediately dot the i in these relations. But if you love and want to be close to your loved one, then develop the habit of warning him about where you are going, how long and why you are late, when you return, whom you meet, etc. Someone will say that this is like life under the hood, but rather it just looks like it from the outside. In fact, everything is much simpler.

Talk to your jealous person

But don't do it in the heat of an argument. Not only will your words hardly reach him, and you will not be able to calmly convey what you wanted: it is very difficult to have a constructive conversation when resentment due to unfair accusations obscures your eyes. Wait for both him and your good mood and explain that you love him very much, that you cannot even imagine your life with someone else, and that such a suspicious attitude is extremely unpleasant for you. And most importantly - convey one thought: if suddenly you have another, or just feelings cool down, then you will never deceive him, in your opinion, it is much more honest to say everything directly and without concealment.

After reading this article, half of you will think that living with such a jealous person is sheer torment and it is better to break off such a relationship right away. But tell this to those girls who really love their men, want to spend their whole life with them, but, unfortunately, almost daily encounter jealousy, for which they do not give reasons at all. And it's not a lack of self-esteem. Agree, we women also sometimes behave disgustingly, but for some reason we find any excuses for our own jealousy, although often it's just our insecurity. And we really do not want a loved one to leave us solely because we constantly suspect him of something. So why are men worse? Why not help them cope with this destructive feeling? If you see that your efforts are in vain, then you should think about the prospects for the development of relations.