How to break up correctly

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

It is regrettable, but true: nothing lasts forever under the moon, and sometimes we part with our beloved forever! Another thing is that sometimes it becomes easy on the soul from breaking up a relationship and you feel free and happy. But more often than not, parting is a heavy mental anguish, depression, illness, torment and other most negative emotions.

Many will disagree with my phrase, but I was not the first to say it, because "humanity is very old, and you always have to follow in someone's footsteps." So, you need to reasonably approach the separation procedure. Surely, you will now say: "Yes, what a mind, when the heart is torn to pieces, hands tremble disobediently and emotions overwhelm my whole being !!!" As an emotional person, I initially did not understand how it is possible to lay out those feelings that overwhelm a person when parting with a loved one. In fact, it is worth starting, and then you yourself will be convinced that there is nothing difficult in moving your feelings a little and "soberly" looking at the situation, no.

"I recently divorced my third husband. Now I am dating another man who is much older than me. I did not start a new relationship immediately after the divorce. But at my age I am still not a twenty-year-old girl who is killed for unhappy love. I am proud of that wisdom, which I have acquired by my age. Parting with a man I compare with a slight malaise. When my friends find out about my next breakup and ask "how are you?", I always answer: "It's okay. Parting with a loved one is like indigestion: you feel discomfort, but you know that it will soon pass. "And I not only say this to my friends, I really think so."

Now let's try to compose instructions for the correct partings.

How to come to terms with the fact that it's over?

Don't bump into memories. During the period of breakup, it is necessary to remove all photos, gifts and other reminders of your relationship, and as far as possible. You will get it in half a year, when your soul becomes calm, and with a sad smile you will leaf through the photo album, remembering the bright past;

- Eliminate the word "if" from your thoughts and conversations. Very often all experiences and depressions arise on the basis of just this word. You start mentally sorting out the options for saving the broken relationship ("what would have happened if I hadn't done this and that …", "and what IF we change this in this moment …", "and what, IF it's not all it's over … "and so on);

- Speak it out. Do not go and noah to everyone in a row that happened in your personal life. Talk to a psychologist or friend. Let them be patient and give you the opportunity to speak as much as you need. They don't need to advise you. You have to tell everything yourself. Let this be a quick breakdown of your relationship with your ex-boyfriend.

What if it's love?

I'm not talking about typical fights between loved ones. We do not always listen to our feminine intuition, which tells us when it’s over and when it’s just beginning. But in any case, if he decided to say about the breakup, then it’s time to realize that the relationship has come to an end. It is better to realize this unpleasant news now, than to amuse yourself with hope with the words "what if there is more …", and then be disappointed. Of course, you yourself will decide whether to save the relationship. Remember that tears, pleas, appeals to compassion will humiliate you rather than bring back your loved one. So, I answer the question: what if this is love? Then fight for your relationship, save it. And if this is really love (I think book novels are not always exaggerated), it is quite possible that your bright feeling will conquer all separation and adversity! But if all else fails, do not forget that sometimes, you still need to leave, part, rest from each other, finally. What if he loves another, and you love him? Then let him go as a worthy woman and part with him beautifully: realize that he is happy with her, and your happiness is yet to come.

What are these difficult moments?

- You realized that your relationship has come to a "dead end", that your feelings have dulled and in general nothing binds you except a habit. You sat down, talked calmly and came to the conclusion that it was time to leave. With such a separation, one of the partners usually quickly finds a new love, and the second often begins to change his beloved.

- Some of you have changed. The partner found out about this and does not want to continue the relationship: he leaves first, casting a contemptuous look on the traitor. The cheater usually believes that there is a demand for him and quickly strikes up a new relationship. And the deceived partner looks closely at the new person for a long time before starting to build a relationship, because he becomes more distrustful.

- You do not agree with the characters. You swear over trifles. And one day, after breaking all the dishes, you disperse and never see each other again. In this case, both will try to build a new relationship "to spite" each other.

These are three, so to speak, the most typical cases. In reality, there are many options, and they are all very different. And if at the same time take into account the psychology of each personality, no ink is enough to paint everything.

What's the most important thing when breaking up?

The most important thing is to "put all the dots in their places". There should be no understatement in any case. It doesn't matter - in a fit of anger or in a calm conversation - you both should say to each other whatever you want. Do not hide, do not remain silent. When you dot, it is subconsciously easier to perceive the breakup. It is dangerous for your sensitive heart to put "commas" ("let's talk about this another time", "it's hard for me to talk about this now") and "ellipsis" ("yes, we will meet anyway", "let's drink like some coffee? "). A decisive goodbye is what matters.

How to fix the mistakes of the past?

It so happens that we often suffer, remembering our past. We think that we acted ugly in one way or another. We remember how we offended a dear admirer with a rude refusal, brutally abandoned our faithful friend. These are all our mistakes of the past. And if you want to build a new relationship without returning to unpleasant memories of partings and resentments, it is never too late to ask forgiveness from those men with whom you broke up ugly. It's not that hard to call your ex-boyfriend, meet him for coffee, and just apologize if something was wrong on your part. Simply put, you need to part with friends. And if this did not work out when you quarreled, it can be corrected now.

Is it the last time to make love?

Sometimes, when you part with a loved one, you regret that you did not fully enjoy the last time his hugs and kisses. You think that it would be worth making love for the last time just like it was for the first time…. Tell me, will you be able to let him go and not suffer yourself after the last beautiful night? In fact, there is a special charm precisely in parting not calmly, not in a storm of scandal, but beautifully and passionately. This means putting an exclamation mark at the end of your relationship, not a full stop. Why not? The main thing is that you are ready for the fact that this is really the LAST time and will never happen again. If you cannot accept this, then it is better not to tempt yourself.

Breakups have their own romance

Leave beautifully, part with your loved one with dignity. Remember that you are a successful, wonderful woman and your life is just beginning. And the breakup of the previous relationship will necessarily be followed by a meeting with a new beautiful stranger. Nothing lasts forever under the moon, and therefore the next parting, one day, will also be the last. The main thing is that you are free from past relationships and unpleasant memories. Think of a great future and remember that a breakup is just a mild discomfort that goes away quickly. After all, whatever is done, everything is for the best!