What to do if your man is not romantic

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

You are serving dinner by candlelight and he takes a plate and goes to the computer? Do you dream of a trip to Paris, and he buys a ticket to Vietnam? On Valentine's Day, you give him hearts and decorate the apartment with balloons, and he just smiles tightly and pulls out a new blender from behind?

Do not be discouraged, there are a dime a dozen such men around, and you are not the only woman who considers her chosen one to be a callous biscuit, albeit so beloved.

123RF / Elena Nichizhenova

They say that in the modern world, romantic men cannot survive and only women are allowed to hang out a little in the clouds. The representative of the stronger sex at this moment must stand firmly on his feet and make sure that his dreamer does not fly too far.

But no matter what others say, we - gentle and airy girls - so want to periodically receive from our beloved at least a modest bouquet of daisies and embrace the dawn together under a warm blanket. We watch touching films and are moved to see how the main character throws the whole world at the feet of his beloved, sings under the window of serenades and makes a marriage proposal on the sandy seashore. And then we look at our man and sadly understand that this is not about him: under beautiful films about love, he only falls asleep sweetly, and the very thought of being awake at night in anticipation of dawn makes him bored.

What should women do, whose chosen ones are not at all romantic? Order yourself to be content with little - for example, his rare invitations to the cinema (albeit to boring male action films)? Or have a lover who will help compensate for the lack of bouquets-sunsets-sunrises? In fact, these are all extremes. In such a matter, it is quite possible to get by with a little blood, the main thing is to first decide whether you really need this romance so much.

Rejoice

Most ordinary people unanimously repeat: romantic men are infantile, fickle and absolutely useless in everyday life. Give them a starry sky, inspiration and long conversations about the callousness of the world. It's almost impossible to build strong relationships with this type: you tell him about a nail that should have been hammered two weeks ago, and he tells you about wasting precious time on meaningless things; you hint that a multicooker would greatly facilitate your work in the kitchen, and instead of such an unromantic gift he presents one teddy bear after another.

123RF / Vasyl Dolmatov

In general, instead of a normal man, there is a fabulous unicorn (no less) nearby, which you yourself know what does with a rainbow. Of course, all this is somewhat exaggerated, but just imagine that your reliable and strong chosen one suddenly turned into such an overgrown child? Here you can only rejoice, because next to you is an adult adequate person.

Don't throw tantrums

If the first option does not suit you and you still want romance, then let's move on to plan "b". First of all, you need to talk to your man and explain what exactly you are missing in this relationship. Just do not make the mistake typical for most women - do not throw tantrums on him.

No need to cry, accuse him of callousness, appeal to conscience, telling what a wonderful boyfriend your friend is - he gives her flowers and named a star by her name. All this does not work on men, and moreover, it often only makes it worse.

Most likely, the "cracker" will be offended and think that you have PMS. And was it worth it to work so hard for the next "diagnosis"?

Calm, only calm

How not necessary, we have already understood. Now let's talk about how to do it. First, when starting a conversation on such a sensitive topic (for most men, this is exactly what it is), be as calm as possible. You do not want your beloved to consider you an inadequate woman who does not know how else to tickle both yourself and his nerves? Second, explain to your man that this is not a whim and that you really think a relationship devoid of romance is incomplete. Admit that you remember with a smile the time when he was just trying to win you over. Tell us how much joy the simple flowers from the flower bed brought you, which he plucked for you under the angry cries of grandmothers. Make your man feel like a knight again, they love it.

123RF / Milos Ljubicic

Be romantic

Some psychologists advise starting with yourself, not expecting a man to take the first step. Would you like a candlelit dinner? Cook and serve. Dreaming of a romantic trip to Paris? Plan your next trip yourself and face it. All this, of course, is good, but some men are relaxed by such behavior of their women: they say, she herself does a good job. To prevent such a nuisance from happening to you, try turning the situation into a so-called romantic marathon. Tell your loved one that from this day on you are playing an entertaining game: you arrange a romantic surprise for him, and he, in turn, must take the baton and surprise you with something. Let this game be light and relaxed - you do not oblige him to anything, but patiently wait to see if he can amaze you.

Understand yourself

There is an opinion: only insecure women need romantic actions, who need constant confirmation that they are loved. Whether this is really so is difficult to say. There is probably a grain of truth in these words, because we especially acutely perceive the lack of romance in relationships, when it seems that they have exhausted themselves and our man no longer sees in us that beautiful nymph that we were for him a few years ago. On the other hand, even the most popular and self-confident ladies want flowers, serenades and beautiful deeds.

Be that as it may, before you accuse a man of callousness, understand yourself. Perhaps it was not he who suddenly became a "cracker", perhaps it was you who lost your inner harmony and are trying to compensate for the loss with external "tinsel".