9 things you should never ask your husband about

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

In marriage, spouses constantly need each other's support and often expect that this support will manifest exactly how they want. At the same time, some expectations are too high, as well as what you demand from the chosen one. Let's draw a line between what is acceptable and what you should never ask your husband for:

1. Choose between you and his family

Often it’s about his mother. Perhaps sometimes he puts her above you, or you just don't get along well with her. However, it is thanks to her that your husband exists, and for the sake of maintaining the relationship, you can tolerate. You should not shift your misunderstandings with your mother-in-law on him and do not drive a wedge between mother and son.

2. Listen to all your concerns

Of course, your husband should be aware of your difficulties, but he should not become a filter of all your problems and the latest gossip that hooked you. Men and women have different attitudes towards discussing problems. Men focus on solving them, and women often just need to express themselves emotionally. Your expectation that he will actively listen to all the gossip will make him worry, and you, in turn, will worry that he cannot “properly” cope with the role of the listener.

123RF / Andor Bujdoso

3. Never look at other women

Men - as well as women, by the way - cannot fail to notice someone attractive in any case. It makes no sense to ask not even to look towards a beautiful woman passing by. It is normal to look at someone, it is in our nature, and there is nothing dangerous as long as it is just a glance, there is. Now, if your spouse is already in the mood for flirting with another lady (attractive or not), you can be outraged by his behavior.

4. Change your interests (both personal and professional)

Your husband's interests and hobbies were with him before your wedding, and perhaps he attracted you with them, so do not waste time and energy forcing him to change them after the wedding. A man does not devote himself to a hobby or work because he wants to disconnect from his family, hobbies only make him happier.

Asking him to give up his hobby is not worth it if the time spent with the hobbies does not outweigh the time spent with the family.

5. Don't chat with friends

Your husband needs same-gender mates as you need girlfriends. Cutting off his friendships will make him less happy and may even ruin his health. But most importantly, he will see you as the cause of these troubles.

123RF / dolgachov

But his girlfriends may well bother you, especially those who behave too seductively. You have the right to remind them that he is already married, and if they don’t agree not to cross the line, ask him to say goodbye to them.

6. Be a different person

It happens that after many years of marriage we ask ourselves the question "Why did I marry him?"

But think, suddenly the features that annoy you in your spouse now are the flip side of those for which you love him, and you should not make him change completely.

Perhaps your husband loves spontaneity and does not know how to stick to the schedule, for example, it is difficult for him to take the children to kindergarten on time. Explain to him where you really need his help during the day, then talk about your opportunities and responsibilities. So he will feel more responsibility (in particular, for the same children), and will not assume that you are just nagging him.

7. Remember every moment of the relationship that you think is special

Women, as a rule, retain emotions in memory better than men - this is just how the female and male brain works. As long as you keep in mind the exact date and time of your first date, your husband may not remember this anymore.

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If an event is really important to you, tell your spouse about it in advance. If he forgets about it anyway, calmly explain to him that it upsets you. Do not be angry with him silently and do not expect that he telepathically guesses what you are unhappy with. It is all the more unrealistic to expect that by your deep sighs he will immediately remember everything.

8. Share all your interests

Do not ask him to often do something with you that you like, but he does not. In fact, enjoying your free time apart from each other can strengthen your marriage. Therefore, periodically give him a chance to feel your absence.

He will react to your return with behavior that will show you how much he values you. And then you can do something that both of you enjoy.

123RF / georgerudy

9. Always be the first to approach you when you are silent from resentment

The tactic of silence or, in addition to this, restricting access to the body (especially the prohibition of sex) in order to prove that you are right, is completely unacceptable. Instead of seeking your forgiveness, your husband will likely back down to wait it out. Your behavior is one of the most destructive forms of maintaining a relationship - it only creates negative feedback, causing only resentment and even anger.

If you think your husband should apologize, do not express your emotions as passively or, at the other extreme, do not lash out at him. Instead, calmly explain, “It hurts when you ignore my feelings. I think I deserve an apology for the way you behaved yesterday at dinner. Next time, don't do that, please."