Video: Is the virtual romance treason?
2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00
Indeed, how can you define a virtual romance of a married woman or a married man? Pampering? The game? Something that equates to real cheating? Or a way to shed excess energy and just avoid real cheating?
When a virtual romance came up during a consultation, I always asked the question: "Would you like / were you ready to meet with your virtual partner in reality?" And most often I heard “no”. I repeat, we are now talking not about those who use the Network for real acquaintances and are not limited by anything in their development, but about those who have a personal life arranged and who nevertheless are looking for acquaintances on the Network. But it leaves them only in the virtual world.
Strong argument, don't you think? During the consultation process, we found out that for Andrey this is a kind of psychotherapy. In those difficult moments when they quarrel with his wife, he temporarily disappears from the "battlefield" for the computer. Half an hour of meaningless exchange of remarks with a girl for whom he is just a pen pal (she also has a personal life), and quarrels with his wife cease to traumatize him so much. Moreover, refreshed by the approval of a virtual girlfriend, he is ready to approach his wife and apologize. Or at least tactfully take a break and not develop the quarrel further.
From the point of view of psychology, this is a form of role-playing, modeling.
There is a part in a person that others do not want to see or notice. Or it is simply obscured by other qualities. Let's say that loved ones are used to the fact that a person is cold. And even if he has developed over time in himself the ability to express feelings, others sometimes simply refuse to notice it due to habit, stereotype of a person's perception. And they do not see that he has changed. He naturally seeks an adequate resonance for these changes. And he finds that it is in front of the virtual interlocutor that he can fully reveal his new qualities. Another option: a person tries to become someone, something, to acquire some kind of status or quality. But those around him do not believe in him, the world around him, as it were, does not give him such an opportunity, as if a label is hung on him. And then he appears in front of someone unfamiliar on the Web exactly the way he would like to see himself.
One of the very strong laws of psychology is simple: if you model the desired situation in detail, with a strong emotional inclusion, then this technique can greatly increase the likelihood of its implementation.
This technique is at the heart of the mass of psychotechnics. And the stronger he is, the more a real person reacts to your "picture". In therapy groups, people help each other by acting out adequate resonance for the other. But not everyone has the ability and desire to go there. And intuitively, a person is looking for a way. And finds him.
But the endings of virtual communication are different. Remember the movie "You've Got Mail"? Some kind of situation, stress, quarrel, trauma can push a person to suddenly look for real contact with a virtual interlocutor. And this can have a lot of serious consequences. From disappointment and rejection to sudden real love. Both can be fatal.
A person on the web is a living person. You are not communicating with a robot, and even if each of you plays a certain therapeutic role, you still must not forget: this life is real, and anything can happen in it.
And who your virtual interlocutor will become for you depends on you. If you are careful and tactful, if you clearly define the framework and think not only about yourself, you may later thank him for his help. And if you play around and forget to think of him as a living person, then perhaps he will become a bitter disappointment and trauma for you.
And those who find their husbands / wives for virtual flirting should first think about what they don't see in a loved one? What makes him live some kind of parallel life, why is he looking for a different perception of himself? And if you are sensitive to him, if you know how to react to his changes and needs, then he will only communicate on the Internet. Instead of flirting.
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