How I learned that a child is a hindrance to my career
How I learned that a child is a hindrance to my career

Video: How I learned that a child is a hindrance to my career

Video: The Psychology of Career Decisions | Sharon Belden Castonguay | TEDxWesleyanU 2022, December
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In the life of many women there are periods when they are ready, at least in words, to renounce the most precious thing they have … I mean the moment when a woman tries to get a job and is forced to hide the fact that she has a baby …

I gave birth to a child in the last year of the institute, and I was able to appreciate all the delights of the social significance of this fact, since I was not only unemployed, but also a single mother. Since at the time of my birth I did not work anywhere, but studied, then, of course, no decree was required. I have a wonderful mother, who took over the functions of a nanny-grandmother, and after Vasilina was three months old, I went to the labor exchange. I must say right away that I believe in the Internet and recruitment agencies as a way to find a job, but the best recruiters are still your friends.

I had experience in my specialty (more than 2 years, albeit with interruptions - I was still a student), a diploma of higher education, the ability to work in a team, knowledge of a computer, English, a residence permit near Moscow … well, what else do you need to find work. After the recommendation of a friend, I was immediately taken to a large publishing house as the editor-in-chief of the main magazine (it was published twice a week, and other publications once a month or less often). True, they took him on probation. They did not ask about the child at the interview, and I myself did not say with a light heart. For two months of work, I have completely mastered my workplace and even created 4 new headings in the magazine. The bosses were happy with me, I never missed the deadline for publication, the circulation of the publication began to grow a little, I was praised at all editorial councils … As a result, the personnel department ordered me to bring documents for registration for a permanent position. I brought…

Four days later, the editor-in-chief of the publishing house (my immediate superior) summoned me and said, looking away: “Unfortunately, we are forced to part, and I’ll say frankly that my professional and creative qualities are quite satisfactory, even more than that, but a number of others arose. questions that are still not worth discussing …”This is how I ended up without work and on the same day I handed over everything to the new editor.

At another place of the alleged work, they demanded a receipt from me, the essence of which boiled down to the fact that my application for maternity leave was tantamount to a letter of resignation of my own free will. I firmly said that I already have a child, I was gently told: "Goodbye." By the way, I consulted with a lawyer - such notes are illegal.

Until my daughter was one year old, I attended 15 interviews and worked a probationary period in 4 companies, where the month is less. Moreover, the more I liked me, the sooner they asked me to bring documents and the sooner they refused my services. Then they took me to work in a low-paid position, without a work book, social benefits and guarantees, I could even take a bulletin there only at my own expense.

Now everything has changed in the most magical way. I got a job at a large news agency, and after a probationary period I was not fired, but on the contrary, I was promoted - I was appointed head of the department. Honestly, I overheard part of the conversation between the "immediate" superiors and the "high" about my appointment. The fact that I had a child was perceived extremely positively: “She will work like a horse, a single mother, so she has to earn money herself, she is unlikely to fly from work to work, she is more interested in stability”. Well, a little cynical, but true.And to be honest, I was even pleased with the fact of such insight of the authorities.

But my childless friend Ira quits her job. Until some time, everything was just fine with her career, and she quite rightly counted on another promotion. But recently she got married, and the boss (while walking at her wedding) refused her a new position: “You got married, now you’ll go on maternity leave, and I’ll have to keep your rate and look for a replacement for you, and then you’ll return“not in material ", and where am I going to put you?" Ira launched into humiliating excuses that she didn’t think about children yet, that she wanted to work-work-work … But her colleague got a promotion, and Ira quit: it became unpleasant to work where she was not appreciated.

As for trying to find a home-based job for a mother and baby, so as not to depend on the "lady from the human resources department," this is also a very, very controversial issue. In the maternity hospital, I met Masha, we gave birth to our girls on the same day, both were unmarried, on this basis we became friends and we still communicate. Masha is a leading journalist of a well-known metropolitan newspaper. It would seem that you can write articles at home. You swing the cradle with one hand, turn on the computer with the other. Nonsense! It turned out to be impossible: every three hours to feed the child, cook food for him and herself, wash, iron, walk, go to the shops and at the same time write articles for which it would not be a shame … Sometimes the body simply requires rest and sleep, but in a day only 24 hours and there are no days off in homework …

Masha had to hire a nanny. She fumbles with Lenochka while Masha-mother herself writes in the next room. Some acquaintances believe that this lordship is on Mashka's side - but I am entirely on her side. My mother-grandmother is the same nanny, and I realize that without her help I would not earn a dime, even if I set up three offices at home …

And recently Vasilina and I went to visit the "suitors to see": my classmate Olga gave birth to a second boy in a row with a difference of a year and a month and claims that "only a woman with two children has no rights for a woman and a child," and her husband Mishka chuckles and demands, so that she does not stop and give birth to a third boy, and then a girl, and assures that childbearing is Olga's job …

And also:

I don’t want a child: what are “childfree” afraid of: We are used to thinking that maternal instinct is a matter of course. So where do girls “with a defect” in maternal instinct come from? I rummage in statistics: according to psychologists, principled child-haters are not so common: only a tiny percentage of women really do not like children. And most of the so-called "childfree" are women who, for various reasons, are afraid to have children. Read more…

Features of a woman's career: Is it really much more difficult for a woman to make her career than a man? Given the same level of intelligence, education, experience, is a higher salary and preference given to a man? Olga Lukina, a psychotherapist and psychoanalyst, a leader personal development consultant, a candidate of medical sciences, and president of the British Psychological Center, answers these questions. Read the article …

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