Table of contents:
- Overcome uncertainty
- Return to your old way of life in part
- Repair your relationship with your spouse
- Don't wait for life to get better on its own
Video: We come to our senses after the birth of a child
Immediately after the first birth, many mothers experience a personal crisis. They become insecure. They are afraid that they are doing something wrong with the child, and at the same time they feel that they are isolated from the usual social circle. It seems that life has stopped and the eternal Groundhog Day has come. How do you stop feeling cornered?
Understand yourself: to understand a problem means to solve it by half
Your life before the birth of your child, most likely, was simple and understandable: you knew in general terms how your day would turn out, professionally did your job and understood what your strengths were. After giving birth, you are faced with the most difficult and most important task in life - taking care of your child and you must devote yourself to this business without a trace, day and night. Life is changing dramatically, the skills acquired earlier are useless, and you have to independently master the intricacies of the new “profession of a mother”. Moreover, without the right to make any mistake! And often there is no one around who could help, teach, or at least suggest what to do in this or that case …
You need to admit this to yourself: this is a new stage in life, in which there is a lot of incomprehensible.
No wonder you feel, to put it mildly, not at ease "! Did you think that with the advent of motherhood, you will automatically master all the skills of caring for a child? No, and you need to admit this to yourself: this is a new stage in life, in which there is a lot of incomprehensible. Your reaction to the unknown is natural, and to come to your senses, it is enough to conduct a simple auto-training session, find words to admit to yourself that you are weak and set yourself up for the best: “Yes, I feel insecure, but this is a normal reaction, since I I've never done this before. It is natural to experience all these emotions, but in the future it will definitely be easier and better for me, I can cope with everything!"
Look for “happiness friends” and expand your knowledge of motherhood
The best and easiest way to deal with feelings of insecurity is to join a team like you, young mothers or women raising children the same age as your baby, or a little older. You can make acquaintances in a nursery or kindergarten where you place your child. You can - at the local playground.
It is not always useful to ask advice from those who have adult children: such mothers have moved to a "new level", are busy solving problems of a different kind and hardly remember how difficult the first days of motherhood seemed.
In order to be sure that you are taking care of your child correctly, read the appropriate books, specialized sites, or find on the Web some interesting video blog with step-by-step instructions on how to do the right thing in different circumstances: how to swaddle and bathe a child, what and when to feed, what educational games are most useful for his age. Take care of your education, this is the best way to become more confident.
Return to your old way of life in part
Do what you love at least once a week
Perhaps you did yoga, or loved to cook new dishes, or blogged, or necessarily read the newspapers in the morning. Whatever you loved before, you must find time for your passion even now, despite the presence of the child. In the first few months, most likely, you simply will not have the time or desire to do this, but you have to overpower yourself. Mark the appropriate day on the calendar and ask your partner to take on some of the child's care for that day. Remember how important you are to yourself.
Connect your old self and your new self at least once a week for the sake of inner harmony.
If you used to love walking alone with your dog, but now you deny yourself this, because you spend most of your time with your child, set aside just an hour a week for walking with your pet along the old route - and you will see how much pleasure it will bring you. If you decide to do yoga again, but you take your baby with you to each lesson, try to come alone at least once a week, leaving the child with a nanny. Believe me, in this hour you will recover your strength so much that it will be enough for all things. Connect your old self and your new self at least once a week for the sake of inner harmony. The child does not need an unhappy, driven mother.
Repair your relationship with your spouse
Use the baby's magic sleep time from 19.00
Usually babies happily fall asleep at this time, as if on purpose to give their parents some free time. You get a couple of hours to communicate with your spouse. Use this time to have dinner together, but no TV. Or discuss some problem together, just not related to the child. Have a romantic evening at home, order something from a restaurant with your husband, watch a movie together.
Often the most stressful time in a spouse's relationship is the first year of a baby's life. It is important to create at least some romantic moments.
Don't wait for life to get better on its own
Take one walk a day with your baby
As already mentioned, often a mother with a baby feels isolated, because her life is closed on the child. Do at least one interesting thing for you with your baby a day. Go with him to the park, sit together on the bedspread. If you need to go somewhere on family matters, take your child with you. Visit a family friend or girlfriend. Take part in children's games. In the first couple of years of life, the kids are still too young to communicate closely with each other, but you will have a reason to chat with their mothers, it can be interesting.
Find a reasonable balance between your mom's responsibilities and your interests. Don't try to do too much. And a small thing can be important!
Did you hire a nanny when you gave birth to your first child?
Prioritize. Organize your life by yourself
Your to-do list starts to snowball. This can make you feel tired, overwhelmed, or nervous. This is normal, albeit sad. We need to correct the situation. Make a to-do list, in which you arrange everything according to the degree of importance and urgency: what must be done, what can not be done. And start getting rid of unnecessary things. Train yourself to do no more than one important thing a day. And do not hesitate to seek help from other relatives or members of your family. Their help is important for a young mother.
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