A day in the life of a HR manager

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

My very first boss kept repeating: "You don't become a personnel officer, you are born as a personnel officer." And he was right, because you cannot learn patience in dealing with people, just like you cannot learn intuition and the ability to eliminate conflicts.

It is only at first glance that the profession of a personnel officer (in a modern way - a personnel manager) consists of endless resumes and interviews.

In any office there are both behind-the-scenes wars and amorous affairs. And you shouldn't think that the HR manager of your company is silent about them because he doesn't know anything. It's just that a personnel officer is a profession where the ability to say important things at the right moments is appreciated. And if you are still convinced of the opposite, then I suggest you open my online diary and read about the events of one day in the life of a personnel manager.

8:30. - I walk down the street. Soft fluffy snow falls on my head, but I have no time for that. I can't get out of my head yesterday's monologue by Ivanov, who auditioned for the head of the sales department.

His self-presentation would be considered ideal, if not for one "but": the content of the work itself - sales - for a given candidate is more important than the human environment. This means that Ivanov can be a good salesman, but not a manager.

Yes, this is how, going to work, I make the final decision regarding an applicant named Ivanov. He will not see an interview with the CEO.

8:38 am. - The deputy director's secretary for general affairs is catching up with me.

Our local accounting gossips rummage through Evgenia's underwear every day. This is understandable, because Zhenya is a secretary according to the staffing table, and on a freelance basis she is the beloved woman of her boss.

For me, her belly, which has begun to round, means that soon it will be necessary to look for a new secretary. The conversation with Zhenya is just about this: in three months she will need to go on maternity leave.

8:57 am. - I sit down at my desk and open my mail. Wow! Sixty new resumes were sent over the weekend. I open the very first on the list, I read: "Ekaterina Valerievna Pushkareva." The appearance in the attached photo is not like that of the television series namesake: blond curly hair, dimples on the cheeks and a slightly upturned nose. Ambition also distinguishes her from the famous character: the girl marks the head of the sales department. They say about such people: young, but promising. Therefore, I invite Katya Pushkareva for an interview today.

9:22. - I look through fourteen more resumes for the position of the head of the sales department and, not finding a worthy one among the applicants, I sigh heavily.

Finally, I liked the fifteenth, sixteenth, twentieth and twenty-seventh resumes: the education I declared in the announcement, extensive experience in a similar position, acceptable financial expectations. I call the candidates. I persuade one to come today at 15.00. I'm going to a Monday planning meeting.

9:53 am. - Each planning meeting for me is a life-and-death battle. The HR manager will be blamed for all the deadly sins, be it the low productivity of the marketing department or the rudeness of the janitor. I hire the wrong people, I don't motivate them that way, I don't do assessment tests on time.

10:10. - I remember the phrase of our CEO's father: "Half an hour of your personal shame, and then you have every right to disgrace anyone else!" This is what I do. I criticize the office administrator for creating conflicts and make a remark to the chief accountant: advertisements for the search for new employees were not paid on time and, accordingly, were not published in newspapers.

11:03. - The general director summoned me to his place "on the carpet." Alexei is clearly nervous.

- Has something happened to dad? - I ask, knowing about the weak heart of our CEO's father.

- No, - the chief waves it off. - Dad is fine. It's bad with Zhenyura.

Evgenia is the boss's younger sister. According to my information, she is now studying at MGIMO as an international lawyer.

- And what course is she on now? On the second? Is student love a carrot?

By the expression on Alexei's face, I understand that I missed.

- Alexey, are you talking about our Wife ?!

- She needs to be fired!

- She's pregnant!

- That's why she needs to be fired! She can't work anymore! Should not. Understand that Zhenya will not leave work of her own free will, but she has toxicosis, tearfulness, constantly changing mood … She needs rest, a psychotherapist and a lot of vitamins, not stress at work. I'll provide everything. Neither she nor the child will need anything …

- I can't fire Zhenya. The law does not dictate. So do not persuade. Who's next on the layoff lists?

- Who-who? Vasyukov.

- Tell me, is this the idea of our chief accountant? Is the official reason for dismissal - violation of equipment storage rules? Shovels and rakes, that is?

- I don't know how Vasyukov keeps his shovels. You, Vika, just come up with something to fire the janitor.

- I understand: the chief accountant with her ultimatum "either I, or Vasyukov" reached you. Only she will not leave, even if her main enemy remains to work. Her ultimatum is a way to increase her own importance in the eyes of the leadership, that is, in your eyes. And in a month she will find a new reason to show that she is the most unhappy employee in your company. Give her a letter! Increase your salary by at least ten percent, or even better - pay a one-time bonus!

- Come on, you first dismiss Vasyukov, and then we will decide with a diploma and a prize for Markovna.

13:03. - I decided not to go to lunch. I locked the office with a key to be alone and read my favorite "Cleo", but every now and then there was a knock on the door, and I had to open it.

And it began! One of the questions was whether the health center plans to dispense condoms to the firm's employees.

14:00. - And here is Katya Pushkareva. Amazingly, in real life she looks even better than in the photo. It is immediately clear that I was preparing for the interview. Therefore, at the first provocative question, she looks like a schoolgirl who has forgotten her cheat sheet at home. Blinks in anticipation that I will give her a hint, and does not understand that an interview is not an exam, and here it is important to speak the truth and be yourself.

I give the Pushkareva test and see confirmation of my thoughts: the girl, without a doubt, is freedom-loving. And her love of freedom can be called a leadership potential. Only Ekaterina is a classic loner, not a team player that our company needs.

15:02. - In front of me sits a mustachioed forty-year-old man named Petrukhin, who believes that I will buy his flattering compliments and send him to an interview with the boss.

But that's what it is. At first glance, I determine that Petrukhin is a typical choleric person, which means that he can bring to nervous breakdowns not only himself, but also his subordinates. I don't see him as the head of the department.

16:07. - The janitor Vasyukov enters my office. he has, as usual, a dirty robe, unclean boots and two days of stubble.

“Don't tell me,” he says from the doorway. - Tatyana Markovna has been sharpening a grudge against me for a long time.

- Don't you want to fight? How are you out of work? You have four children!

- Victoria, tell me, why should I fight? If you have already decided to expel, they will expel. I wrote the application "on my own".

16:27. - Here they are, two facets of capitalism - well-fed forty-year-old childless Markovna and large young unemployed Igor.

In between gloomy thoughts, I enter the data on the employees hired over the last week in the computer base, print orders and personal cards, fill out work books. Time flies by.

17:54. - I open my diary. Tomorrow in the morning - seven interviews, in the afternoon - certification of employees of the financial department, as well as a decision about Zhenechka. It is clear that Alexey will not leave me alone until I send the pregnant beauty to rest at home.

18:05. “And I’ll suggest that Zhenya go on sick leave for three months,” I decide, leaving the office. Only one thought sounds in my head: "Home!.."

House. It seems to all of us that we have only one house, to which we rush after a hard day's work. And we forget that there is also the same house into which we run early in the morning. And this second home is very important: it not only allows you to pay bills, but also gives the feeling that we are needed, we are doing useful work for people, and the company in which we work is needed. And I'm not just telling you this as a HR manager.

Here is such a day HR manager.