By typing method

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

The simplest classification on the topic: "woman and technology" identifies two main types of relationships between these ladies:

1) on "you";

2) on raised tones, i.e. not formatted …

I rank my modest figure as one of the first type, because no equipment in the house has yet been installed, operated, and, therefore, not repaired without my intervention.

I don’t remember exactly when my first acquaintance with the latest innovations in household appliances that appeared on the farm took place. The brightest moment of childhood is the experience with a hot iron.

Then I went to school for the second shift. About two hours before going out I decided to iron my tie (I was lucky to be a pioneer). Distracted by a phone call and conversation, brought on the very trouble that automatic thermostats solve today. After how many tens of minutes I felt the smell of burning around the apartment - it doesn't matter, but a way to eliminate the cause can come in handy in the recommendation: "how not to do it." At that time, I still did not know that throwing a hot iron into a basin of cold water means depriving the family of the means that allows them to look well-groomed.

The consequences of my handling of this valuable device led me to the idea that it is necessary to learn how to handle technology. Well, and if the thought is brought on, then the nature, consider it, is carried away.

Now in my family any "miracle" with technology is carried out by the magic of my fragile hands.

Video recorder … A normal, Japanese "Sony" appeared in the family a long time ago, not without my firm decision to record clips, which were often played on various TV channels. A rational male approach to the latest developments in the field of household appliances begins with a detailed, word-for-word study of instructions. At this sacred creative moment, the emotionally minded part of the (female) family is kicked out of the room along with arguments and advice. It is admitted only solemnly, and the equipment purchased the day before is used in about a week, only after the great power of the male mind, having gathered all the neighbors and friends, did not put hands and did not force this foreign (and, therefore, alien to Russian ideology) development, to work and in our conditions too.

After much debate, persuasion, analysis and collection, the tape recorder was still connected and even demonstrated its abilities, however, not all that we wanted. The holiday was spoiled by my long-standing desire to arrange an underground clip-editing workshop.

Testing the recording abilities of Video Cassette Recorder revealed he had a total lack of talent for locking MTV. Streams of my insane frustration and abuse of installation methods led to the logical conclusion of the process of preparation for operation. An hourly, 255-time scan of the instructions revealed overwhelming evidence of the VCR's recording failure. In the section titled Editing tapes, it is written in black and white: "This unit cannot record TV programs directly because it does not have a TV tuner." What is a "tuner", how and where it is installed to me, of course, no one really explained, however, they promised to bring a specially trained boy, which will eliminate all problems and install where it is necessary and what is required.

How long I would have waited is unknown, but my dad's business trip untied my miraculous hands, which, even without knowing special terms, know the places that are usually responsible for solving various problems. "Special" cable and twenty minutes of scientific "poking" led to the desired result. The first phrase, with which I met a daddy who had returned from a business trip, was almost Galileev's: "And yet he writes down !!!".

Television … Why is there a third TV set in the apartment? Necessary! What for? NECESSARY!!! "JVC" is too small, "Sony" is too old, you need a new one.

Well, it is necessary - it is necessary !!! With a sense of accomplishment, the father of the family returned once with "Grundig" in an embrace.

The quality is German, the assembly, however, is Austrian, but not of the Japanese type. The instruction is hardly accessible, after a couple of days it was deciphered and made up the happiness of the family in contemplation of the 14 metropolitan channels.

No, you cannot leave untrained citizens, especially under the head, next to the remote control! During my next week's absence, friends came to the "dads" with the good purpose of rewriting home videos, and at the same time chatting, not without beer and fish.

As they explained to me for a long time, they could not find the entrance to the VCR, or rather found it, but not the one. How in this case it was possible to knock down the setting of all channels, I still do not understand? But a couple of precious hours and, again, a re-studied operating manual (and the Germans have it terribly simple, without unnecessary words and body movements, and, of course, not understandable) returned the family the joy of receiving and, more importantly, viewing 14- these canals of the capital.

Music Center … All friends, acquaintances and relatives, when they get to know my apartment, are touched by a "certificate" for every fireman put, laminated, announcing: "Gentlemen, if you please, after listening to a CD or cassette deck, press the Stop button on the panel related to this very deck. the system is turned off using the Power button (next to the red light), and not by pulling the cord out of the socket !!!

A couple of tantrums after the grandmother's method of "cutting out my bandura" and wake her up - her beloved - (grandmother), she will tell and show the true way of "passing out", as if she had developed it herself. But after all, not all are so wise and do not lend themselves to either learning or training, so you write, even exaggerating, laminating and displaying in a prominent place the formula for guaranteed long-term operation.

Washer … We have it of high quality, which means it is expensive and, accordingly, is under the watchful eye and sensitive control of the head of the family. Where to put the powder, how to set the program and how many degrees to choose - a usual test before washing, everything would be ok if the head knew where, how and how much. Therefore, the washing takes place under an eye that has fallen asleep from work (or at work) and vigilance, and the investigation is exhibited in a neatly ironed and hung form.

Sewing machine … Even more capricious, stubborn and disgusting than her mistress. You shouldn't come close to it, as well as to the oven, without a particularly good mood. The best method of communication is the address of the type: "My girl, good, nice, smart …". It is difficult when you inherited this essential thing in the household (like me "The Seagull"). The divergence of interests, the transition from the "foot" method to the "pedal" (you always want to go from toe to heel), urgency - these are our stumbling blocks. But, thank God, there is nothing that is difficult for me to persuade. Although language and technology are a separate conversation.

Professional technique … When I interned at a provincial radio station, I clearly learned one golden rule: "No technique is designed so that self-destruction could be real." Those. you can press all the pimples and buttons until you find the one you need. There is one "but": after such extreme experimentation, the key you are looking for at the beginning will hardly help.

5 am - the very dream, but the hero does not sleep at the DJ console. And what a dream, when the wrong button is pressed, but the forecast: a chain of "blunders" and "crap", but "undo the move" is no longer possible. The main thing here is not to be nervous !!! Since "psychos" do not lead to good … however, one day you need to be convinced of this on your own experience. My only one had a very effective result: after all the mishandling of the remote control, I explode with a word that is not very suitable for a decent woman and characterizes dishonest, after which I hear its echo in the receiver … the microphone is on !!!

But then, before howling Celine Dion and delaying that "may hut wil go he", I checked 1000 times whether my vocals would go on the air as a "backing", and whether the listener would smash his receiver against the wall ! After all, the receiver is a technique, and technique must be treated like a woman - affectionately, understanding and carefully.