How to develop willpower

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

I think this happened to you too. A few months ago, you promised yourself to quit smoking. Or stop eating sweets in such incredible quantities. Or start a healthy lifestyle and go to the gym. You rigidly set conditions for yourself and demonstrated remarkable willpower. There was only one indulgence: a new life will begin with the New Year.

When you wake up in the morning on January 1 (that is, not in the morning, of course, but for a new life it will be morning), and everything will be as you want. You will immediately get on your skis, you will not eat up the leftovers from the festive table, you will buy a simulator instead of three new dresses and you will not be rude to your boss. So that's it, by magic. And you believe in this and look forward to the New Year, because there, after its arrival, a new, bright life will begin, where you will be a hundred times smarter, more beautiful and healthier.

123RF / Dmitry Lobanov

Where to start, when to start, how to develop willpower? But the New Year has come, and on the first day you wake up with a sore head. And you eat a whole box of donated chocolates. And you drink a huge mug of strong coffee with a bit of a cigarette. Then you grumble at your mom and your husband. You watch all weekend (10 days, about happiness!) TV shows without getting out of bed. And when a remembering conscience reminds you that you actually, I remember, decided to start life from a blank sheet, you shout at it and make excuses: “I'll start on March 1. It will be easier in the spring."

But spring begins somehow casually, by the way, imperceptibly, and then you - well, just like me - decide that now you will definitely change everything and be a smart girl, but only after your birthday.

And after the birthday it becomes sad, so unbearably sad that it is already completely unbearable to force oneself. And then you again remember the New Year and begin to wait for it with steadfast hope. Yes, then, on January 1, you will start all over again.

A vicious circle, you think. And together with you I will think so, and hundreds, thousands of girls who are inclined to dream and believe in something bright and kind. And we also know how to wait. Therefore, it is easier for us to set ghostly terms for ourselves when everything will change than to change everything now, urgently, from today, and not from next Monday.

Let someone call it laziness, but we know that this is just a small weakness of ours.

123RF / Dean Drobot

It just so happens that taking and doing something is much more difficult than waiting. It's like jumping into cold water. You wanted, you intended, you decided … But when you stand in front of this very moment and you are about to do something, you start to doubt.

Was it so bad for you to change everything so radically? Will it not get worse after that? Is it not in vain that you started all this? What if something good will go along with the bad? And you can come up with hundreds of excuses, just not to change anything … And along with this rejection of your volitional decision, you lose confidence in yourself, confidence in the future, you lose self-esteem and even, perhaps, the respect of others. After all, you have already told someone that you are starting a new life from the New Year?

You see how many consequences … Therefore, you need to pull yourself together and take a step. Straight into the hole. Immediately.

123RF / mihtiander

And let it be cold and hard at first, but then there will be such results that you did not expect. Here are some tips on how to build willpower.

1. Don't set impossible goals

I had a friend who decided to go in for sports every day since the New Year. I bought a fitness subscription in advance, plus new skis and beautiful sports uniforms. Throughout December, all the conversations and thoughts of my friend were occupied with this noble goal. We listened to her and envied her, what a fine fellow she was, that she had made up her mind like this and had already invested so much money in this business. So there is no going back.

And now the New Year has come. On the first day she allowed herself a day off, and on the second she went skiing to the nearest forest. The walk went well.

The next day, my muscles ached, but the subscription to the sports club did not give rest. On the third day, she worked out for two hours on cardiovascular equipment. The fourth friend could not move. After missing three days of training, she became sad and gave up on her maximum task. Sold a subscription. I put my skis on the balcony and plunged into a lazy weekend.

123RF / Sergiy Domashenko

And all why? Because I overestimated my strength. If she decided to go in for sports twice a week, then she would have completely mastered this regime and would not despair so quickly.

We often take our plans too seriously and choose the most radical path. And by this we doom ourselves to failure. If you realize that sweets are not good for you, then in no case forbid yourself to eat sweets altogether. Limit yourself to two chocolates a day.

Quitting smoking is also easier if you reduce the number of cigarettes you smoke per day. Take care of yourself anyway.

After all, it is not some other person who will carry out your plan after the New Year, but you. And it won't be easy for you, you can break loose. Therefore, try to realistically assess your capabilities and set only achievable goals. And over time, you will be able to improve the result and set yourself new and new standards, which will be easier and easier to overcome.

123RF / olimpic

2. Come up with a reward

First of all, it can be a slight indulgence in your new rules. If you have been preparing amazingly delicious dinners, lunches and breakfasts for your husband for a week, then on Sunday you can be capricious. If you have been training for a month without a single pass, then you can skip a couple of classes, after sitting in the sauna and drinking green tea with your friend in a fitness cafe. And only when you understand how pleasant it is to reward yourself for a great job, you will get even more pleasure from it.

3. Start a little ahead of schedule

One of my acquaintances was going to leave her boyfriend for a very long time. Every week she decided to do it the next Monday, but every Monday she didn’t turn her tongue and the explanation was postponed.

In December, she firmly decided to tell him about everything on January 1, so as not to spoil the holiday. As you can imagine, she did not succeed in the New Year, because she could not get away from her heavy thoughts, her hands and lips were trembling and she could not even have a little fun. She wondered how she would say everything, what he would answer, and if she had thought of it all in vain. And on the first day, he left her himself. She, however, was not upset, but she still regrets that she did not take this step back in December, then the New Year would have turned out to be joyful, and a lot of nerve cells would have been saved.

4. Keep a diary

So that later, in five years, when you open this leather book, you will not be ashamed that you are one of those people who never get things done. A diary that will push, help, support in difficult times. And you can always turn a few pages back and see: yes, in fact, there is progress. And that means that all this is needed by someone.

And last on this list, but first in importance: you need to believe in yourself and (a little) in a miracle. Say to yourself: “I can” and put an end to it. There should be no doubt. Because you: a) set a real goal and b) see future bright prospects. Plus you want to change and someone supports you. This means that you will succeed.

Here is the answer to the question: how to develop willpower? You made a decision, set a deadline, did everything possible - and now you just have to follow your own flags, and you will achieve what you want.