"Friendly" office: how to work together with a childhood friend?

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

It's good to have a close friend. However, if you also have to be colleagues, you have every chance of ruining a good relationship. It would seem that you have nothing to share, and the uncomfortable relationship with the opposite sex experienced together, crazy adventures in the periods between sessions and, as a consequence, a difficult victory in a fight with the dean of the faculty, who unceremoniously wished to prematurely complete your studies, should have cemented your friendship forever centuries. But you both have matured, dreaming of a dizzying career, and it is possible that one day the office will not turn into a real battlefield for you. Contrary to the imagination that draws vivid scenes of bloody battles, you should use common sense and try to do everything possible to not only perpetuate your friendship, but also become good colleagues.

The task is not easy, and friends often expect and demand too much from each other. In order to avoid unnecessary problems in the future, you should immediately figure out whether you owe something to each other.

“Despite the fact that she is my boss, I do not think that our relationship at work will be very different from those that connect us outside the office. I count on encouragement and concessions on her part, because we are friends. I don’t think it will be difficult for her to reward me out of line or close her eyes to my lateness.”

As friends, you continue to stay at home; at work, you are colleagues.

Perhaps this is one of the most dangerous and misleading misconceptions - to think that, as your leader, a friend should be condescending to you or somehow especially highlight your achievements. Even realizing this, many continue to rely on the fact that lateness and failure to meet the deadline will get away with them, and award bonuses just like that. Nobody owes you this, not even your closest friend. As friends, you continue to stay at home, at work you are colleagues, and if one of you is a leader and the other is a subordinate, you will have to obey. Otherwise, the relationship may deteriorate considerably, you will not have time to become colleagues and you will no longer be friends.

“We came to this company together in the same positions, but over time, my friend succeeded in her work a little more than me, and she was promoted. She is still offended by her, she knew how I tried to get a promotion, because in the near future my family will have big money spending. Maybe she should have refused?"

As colleagues, you are on an equal footing at work, which means that each of you has a chance to prove yourself and distinguish yourself in front of the leadership. It is only natural that someone can do it better or worse. Perhaps a friend also has her primary needs, which you do not need to know about, and she will find a worthy application for the money received. Surely you would hardly be offended by any other colleague who beat you in the working race, would you? It is a completely different matter when, in an attempt to attract the attention of her superiors, a friend resorts to forbidden methods - intrigues, dissolves gossip, deliberately refuses basic help in order to belittle your dignity and professional achievements. In this case, you have every right to question your friendship and reconsider your relationship.

“With my best childhood friend, we have been working in the same company for several years. We are very close and know each other's innermost secrets. The management appreciates both of us, and professionally there is no rivalry between us. The problem is different - in communicating with colleagues, at corporate parties and during other events, a friend constantly “pulls the blanket over herself”, in every possible way trying to attract attention to herself, no matter how. At the same time, she can tell some story with my participation, personal content, without asking my consent, which, in my opinion, is not at all intended for prying ears. I do not like it. Does she have the right to do so?"

It is not for nothing that HR specialists strongly recommend not to touch on personal topics when communicating with colleagues.

If you have to work together, you should immediately discuss this point and dot the i's - everything that happens to you outside the office should remain strictly between you. It is not for nothing that HR specialists strongly recommend not to touch on personal topics when communicating with colleagues, and today, in most companies, employees do not always know whether the man sitting at the next table is married and how many children he has. In contrast to the way our parents worked and communicated closely with colleagues in Soviet times, these rules deserve attention. Therefore, it is worthwhile to seriously talk to your friend and explain to her that it is not necessary to cover the intimate side of your life in a team.

“It so happened that my husband went to a close friend and colleague in the service, leaving me with a small child. Several years have passed, but a certain thirst for revenge never leaves me. I occupy a good position and am close to the leadership, if I wanted to, I could probably help my ex-girlfriend to “leave”. Keeping it from this remorse. Does my secret desire justify her betrayal?"

The question should be posed differently - is it appropriate to mix work and personal dislike? Even if a friend once behaved ugly towards you, but at the same time is a conscientious and executive employee, enjoys the trust of the management and does not cause complaints from him, it is hardly worth taking any action in order to undermine her reputation. Not only is it dishonorable, because other people's unseemly actions do not at all justify our own, such behavior may also turn out to be not in your favor. If the insidious plan is revealed, you will already have to make phenomenal efforts to restore your good name.

At first, the joy at the news that you have to work with a friend can hardly overshadow the warnings from more experienced comrades that such work can easily erase many years of loyal friendship. However, the chances of maintaining it increase many times over if you both adhere to a few simple rules:

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• separate work and friendship: friends - at home, colleagues - in the office;
• keep secrets carefully - what you know should not become public knowledge;
• remain objective - do everything so that a quarrel at a friendly party does not affect your assessment of the quality of a friend's work;
• remember, by and large at work, you do not owe each other anything, except not to interfere with each of you from doing your job and not to put obstacles on the path to personal success;
• at the same time, provide each other with all possible help, but not to the detriment of your own interests;
• Avoid asking your friend to “cover up to the boss” or emphasize your professional merits;
• work more and laugh less with or without reason - your tandem will be much more positively perceived by management and colleagues at work.

Working with a friend is both more pleasant and more fun if it were not for those numerous "buts" that risk turning friendship into mutual hostility. However, if, before you start working together, you honestly discuss the priorities and goals of each of you, agree to follow the established rules and observe certain boundaries regarding what you can and cannot do at work, the likelihood of remaining close friends will increase significantly. Knowing how valuable true female friendship is and how significant its advantages are, it is probably worth fighting for it no less zealously than for a place in the leader's chair.