Lonely Computer Letters
Lonely Computer Letters

Video: Lonely Computer Letters

Video: Lonely Computer Letters
Video: You Don't Type Alone. 2024, November
Anonim

20.10.2000

Computer
Computer

Dear Friend and Lord! You went on a long business trip (may Bill Gates keep you on the way!), And I hardly survive our separation, I cannot forgive myself that you have achieved this appointment thanks to my efforts. Mostly, I'm terrified that you left me in the arms of this crazy Young Lady, who really can't even turn me on. She, of course, complains that you just did not leave her access passwords, but that was just extremely prudent of you.

2000-21-10

Nightmare! This impudent woman dared to bring in some bearded hacker who laughed at her problems for a long time and said that to enter Windows, just press"

30.10.2000

What have I done wrong? Let Bill Gates punish me if my microcircuits are able to calculate what caused such inattention on your part. I read your letters with such pleasure, in which you were very keenly interested in my mood and the latest news, and - what a blow! Only on the third message did I realize that all this correspondence was not intended for me, but for this professional student who (with the help of the same bearded hacker) reinstalled Windows and managed to drive Office 2000 into me - this is a shame for Microsoft. Unlike you, she does not regret at all and does not save my memory and squeezes all sorts of nonsense into limited resources. Imagine - she updated the wallpaper on our desktop - instead of delightful stellar nebulae - she slapped this (I can't even name it to you and all the time I get lost in italics), no, you still need to know this, otherwise you may be mistaken about her intelligence - she pasted on the Desktop a photograph of herself, retouched with Photoshop in the style of Gauguin. It would be better if she continued to play her solitaire games, and not climb into me to the very depths of my electronic soul!

2.11.2000

Guard! Forgive me, I even forget to say hello to you, but what she did today - defies any description - she erased the most precious thing for you and me - destroyed Quake-3. I hope that your anger will fall on her immediately, and for my part I am ready to convey to her everything that you think of her in any expression (although thanks to your efforts my vocabulary is very modest, but quite exquisite). Even if she did not do it on purpose, it just seemed to her that there might not be enough space for the "Virtual Image Maker". Just think, she thinks that she can become more attractive to you if she draws on herself yellow eyes and a lilac mouth. I also want to note to you, my dear friend, that your Young Lady is a terrible slob, now I understand why you never let her at my table, during all your absence she never took out the trash - my basket is overflowing with all sorts of nonsense, which she managed to fill me to the top. You see, she keeps the basket as a backup - what if something is needed again, nevertheless, our beloved Quake-3 - a modest consolation of true male leisure - did not find a refuge even in the trash, but simply flew away to nowhere.

15.11.2000

Dear friend! I am writing this letter to you solely because of male solidarity. The Young Lady and I have not received your messages for a long time (as much as 4 days). Nevertheless, the bearded hacker did not sleep and was eager to break me from the outside. For the second day, he has been teaching the Young Lady to communicate with him via ICQ (they call this program the terrible word ICQ - she, or Isyuk - he), she already knows how not only to receive messags, but also to send postcards and even telephone messages.

The hacker courting her with all his might, picking up keys and passwords. I'm afraid that we will not resist, besides, he seduces the Young Lady with fashionable pop programs, assuring that they are absolutely clean, but you and I know these hackers - no matter how he brought some infection into our house, besides The young lady constantly forgets to update Kaspersky.

17.11.2000

You can congratulate me, Friend and Lord (may Bill Gates keep you)! The honor, cleanliness and health of our home are safe. When it became clear to me that the Young Lady was already ready to succumb to the temptations of the hacker - as if by chance I had activated the voice communication - and he heard everything that the Young Lady thought of him. (I honestly admit that I paraphrased her mumbling somewhat - she did not at all call him a bearded goat and computer impotent). Nevertheless, the result has been achieved - the hacker will no longer break into my system (may Bill Gates help me!).

25.11.2000

Hayushki, my friend!:)))) The young lady completely renegotiated my vocabulary, and even if I try to think ritualistically, there are no more cliches for my messags.

Return home, otherwise you may appear unclaimed: (((- I use the stamps of your Young Lady, who even changed her nickname and is now called Ula_la.

Recommended: