How to stop being afraid of the boss

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

He calls you on the carpet and chastises you for being late or failing, he has the authority to deny you bonuses and can make the day off work. For some subordinates, their boss is Bruce Almighty, no less. They are really afraid of him, shudder when they see an incoming call from the boss on the phone screen, and sweat if he calls them to his office. However, often such awe before the higher management has no basis in itself, and the bosses artificially create such a tense atmosphere in the office, naively believing that if they are afraid, then they respect.

Remember the well-known doctor Bykov and his subordinates from the comedy series "Interns"? This is where the fear of the authorities is, this is where the shaking knees and speech confused with excitement are. The main character of the sitcom, superbly played by Ivan Okhlobystin, is a real tyrant who does not choose expressions, distributes night shifts to the right and left and invents the most sophisticated tests and punishments for his "experimental" subjects. Not surprisingly, poor interns are intimidated by this approach to work. But the practice of real, not cinematic life shows that the boss does not have to be "the devil in the flesh" so that the subordinates are afraid to even breathe in his presence. We often experience an incomprehensible awe in front of those who did not at all try to create the image of a celestial. Let's take a look at what makes us afraid of our boss and how to deal with that fear.

Originally from childhood

Fear of the boss is a reflection of the feelings you experienced as a child.

Psychologists say: often the problem is not in the boss at all, but in what kind of relationship you had with your father or mother in childhood. You look at your boss, but you see a parent in front of you - a domineering one, capable of prohibiting you, not letting you go for a walk with friends, putting you under "house arrest", etc. Fear of the boss is a reflection of the feelings you experienced as a child. If your father was strict, demanding and could bang your fist on the table, then you did your best to hide any wrongdoing from him, and you reported about deuces in your diary only when you were mentally prepared for the consequences. It is likely that as an adult, you began to relate to your boss as well: be afraid of him, drink sedatives before planning meetings, and answer phone calls with a trembling voice.

What to do? For a start, of course, it doesn’t hurt to understand the problem that you have been “carrying” with you for decades - in that crack that suddenly appeared in your relationship with your parents. Do not neglect the help of a psychologist - rare lucky ones manage to cope on their own. Well, and secondly, remember that you are no longer a child and you need to live here and now. You have become adults, you work in a serious company, you occupy an important position, a lot depends on you, and no one else can fulfill your duties, otherwise you would have been fired long ago. Treat your boss like a colleague, even if you must obey him. The father stayed at home, and only there it makes sense to sort things out. You have to work at work.

Despicable Me

Do not feed some leaders with bread - let them harm and "cheat" on their subordinates. Unfortunately, some people really think bullying is the only way to gain respect, achieve high performance, and generally bring order to the office chaos. What this leads to, we all know perfectly well: to whispering behind the tyrant's back, to shaking knees, tears, tantrums and dozens of torn and rewritten letters of resignation. If your boss is just that and you are terrified of him, then do not rush to look for a new job: there are much more effective and less painful ways to solve the problem.

Unfortunately, some people really think bullying is the only way to gain respect.

What to do? First, always remind yourself of one simple truth: your boss, like you, is afraid of being incomprehensible and ridiculed. He is thrown into a fever by the thought that for his colleagues he suddenly became nothing - an empty place, and therefore tries to give significance to his own person. Now think - is it worth it to be afraid of someone who himself shakes inwardly with fear? Unlikely.

Second, use some simple tricks to help you deal with your anxiety. For example, imagine a small child in the boss's place - unprotected, wearing a multi-colored cap and short shorts. Would you be afraid of such a cutie? Well, if the boss calls you to his place "on the carpet", imagine how his superiors, in turn, call him. We are sure that he worries as much as you do. Trust me, these innocent fantasies help a lot.

And finally, here are some tips that will also help you cope with out of nowhere fear of the boss:

1. Always keep confident, even if you have a lump in your throat, otherwise the bosses will notice your excitement and you will not have time to blink an eye, as tension will appear in the relationship.

2. Have the courage and at least once object to the boss … No one will fire you for this, but you will understand: the boss is not as terrible as he is painted.

3. Do your job well. Making sure you've done your best can help you stay calm if you have to answer to your boss.

4. Allow yourself to joke. If the situation allows, don't miss the opportunity to say something funny. As soon as you see the smile of your "monster", it immediately becomes easier.