How to make your husband work and earn

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

She spins like a squirrel in a wheel, and he lays his sides on the couch, while pretending to be in constant search. How to get your husband to work and earn money - the advice of a psychologist will help you understand a difficult problem and save your marriage.

Effective ways

First of all, it is worth finding out what type of loafers a man belongs to:

• To misanthropes who do not know how to find a common language in a team (most often this behavior is associated with psychological trauma).
• To mama's sons - accustomed to a measured way of life, believing that the whole world owes them. As a rule, when they get married, such people believe that the role of the mother will now be played by the spouse.

In both cases, the men are satisfied with everything, they show in every possible way that they are created for something more, and the position of the alfonza keeper does not bother them.

To change the situation, a woman will have to be patient and act decisively:

• Not to force him to work, not to scandal or reproach, simply because such behavior will cause an associative array and will definitely not lead to anything good. Instead, when you come home from work, do not rush to please your husband and serve him dinner. Show that you are tired and that you need some time to catch your breath.
• Do not pretend to be an iron lady who can solve all problems. You need to sit down at the negotiating table and calmly, without reproaches, talk openly about the budget. Explain that no one is safe from difficulties and sometimes for the good of the family it is worth stepping over yourself, and you will support him in everything. An adequate man will understand everything correctly and most likely, there will be no trace of his uncertainty.
• Refuse completely from the help of your parents - make it clear that you are independent adults and the time has come to help them, and not that they help you. Also warn parents not to offer help, otherwise the spouse will get used to living on everything that is ready and it will become a habit.
• Entrust him with household chores - leave it on his shoulders to pay utility bills, go to the store (resort to a little trick, including in the list items you can do without). When he realizes that the money is close or even not enough, he will think about it and take concrete actions to improve his life.
• Don't prove you can do more - if you have a part-time job, give it up.

Reduce or completely eliminate the item of expenditure that goes only to him (cigarettes, beer). This will make the head of the family think and reconsider his behavior.

No need to force

Yes exactly. In order to send a loved one to work, in no case should you insist on employment, bring matters to a showdown, scandals.

Any pressure associated with work and money will cause an associative array of negativity. It’s important not to place horrific anchors in a man’s head. In other words, the partner should not flinch at the word "work", expecting a full blown away and a lot of claims on your part.

How to make a man work and earn

This does not mean at all that you need to be silent and endure parasitism on the part of your spouse. You need to understand that this is only the foundation on which it is possible to build a strong desire to work and earn money on the part of a partner.

Remove the iron lady

As a rule, women's urgent advice "find a job" is accompanied by the rise of their own self: "Only I pull the whole family on myself!", "We live on my salary!" "If not for me, we would be sitting hungry!"

Of course, such behavior is provoked by fatigue and the external lack of the ability to change anything. It seems that the only way out is to show self-pity and scream about your own achievements, belittling the personality of the other.

However, to break the circle of problems, you need to go the other way. Whatever it takes. After all, you want to know how to make a man work?

The so-called bricks, on the same "foundation" from the first advice, can be built by removing flashy, affirmative expressions from your vocabulary. What man wants to change something if every day he is told about his own independence and the opportunity to earn money? Why should he try if you somehow live without his wages? Why would he find a job, get out of depression, work on himself, if you already buy everything, and even shout about it aloud?

Motivate with your presence

A beautiful wife who just strives to buy new underwear or shoes. How much money does it take to get a fabulous hairstyle and see a beautician? Why not earn more for this?

Satisfied girl with things

By nature, men are creepy brags. Any male is eager to show off his partner to his “fellow tribesmen”. Let him do it. Be a girl, spend money on yourself, provoking your beloved into new spending. Build his desire to work and bring you money on the primitive things inherent in every man.

Make joint plans

Another extremely important point that motivates a man not only to work, but also to try to grow up the career ladder. Joint dreams, material plans combined with the moral well-being of the family are the best "pill" against parasitism and unemployment.

Large-scale projects about building a "family nest", buying a good German car, traveling and purchasing commercial real estate not only sober and make you work with renewed vigor, but generally inspire you to live a happy life together.

Of course, do not forget that such plans need to be built on a solid foundation of understanding and calmness. First of all, work on yourself, your behavior and be the very muse for which you want to achieve new victories.

It's never primitive to criticize

The final rule that allows you to consolidate a man's motivation for the desire to earn money. Any resentment directed towards the male sex should be well reasoned. The rule works not only for money matters, careers, and shared budgets.

Any critical expression, spoken "for the sake of a word," will be perceived as an empty sound. Repeating this over and over again, each phrase will devalue more and more. Of course, requests to find a job would also remain unheard and deafened.

Psychologist's advice on what to do for a wife

1. In this situation, think about the consequences of your husband's unemployment you are ready for and how much strength you have for further action. Life on the run and relationship problems negatively affect your well-being and lead to exhaustion. Therefore, it is worth making a decision for the near future.
2. Please think about what you want. Do you want to save the relationship and make the necessary changes to them, or are you tired of everything, so you want to leave? The model of your marriage relationship is based only on giving and receiving nothing in return. Regardless of the decisions you make, talk to your husband about it.
3. You are not a machine, you need a break. Your body begins to rebel, so you need to shift some responsibilities to others and pay more attention to yourself. You are chronically tired, which is a good reason to seek effective help for yourself.
4. Take some time for yourself, at least for a short rest. I understand that this seems impossible, but you don't need to think about everything. Transfer some of your responsibilities to your spouse. He doesn't work, which means he has a lot of free time.
5. Children can also do some of their household chores. Depending on their age, they can, for example, clean their room, fold their clothes. It teaches them responsibility, and you can take a break.
6. Ask friends or family for help. You need the support and help of other people.
7. Take care of your needs and even give your husband an ultimatum to help out around the house while unemployed and start looking for work.

What do you need to be prepared for?

Faced with the unwillingness of her husband to work and starting to do something, a woman may find herself face to face with frankly unpleasant things. Do not be afraid to find out with which ones, because "forewarned is forearmed!" So:

• It is your own fault that your husband does not earn enough money. Most insecure women do their best to get love and gratitude from a man. All means are used: delicious food, sex, cleanliness in the house and protecting your beloved spouse from all the discomfort. Including work. “Nothing, I can do everything myself, but my husband will not leave me anywhere! After all, I do EVERYTHING for him”! Something like this thinks such a wife, working hard at 2 jobs, rubbing the floor in the apartment to a shine, ironing a shirt he bought with her own hands and stirring truffle julienne with Roquefort cheese. And then he sincerely does not understand why he left it and went to a "bow-legged misunderstanding", to which he happily "plows from morning to night, can you imagine ?!", and even carries it in his arms. Yes, that's why he left because he was tired of feeling like a pet, and not an adult, independent man!
• Your husband doesn't love you - he just uses you. It is painful and unpleasant to realize, especially if you have lived with him for many years, and you have common children. How is this found out? Very simple: this man does not want to work. He wants to sit on your neck, whine, shout and even beat (it also happens). He also does not want to get off her - they feed, dress, "walk" into the world. I got used to it, in the end. If, despite all the efforts on your part, the man is still unemployed, think about why? Most likely, he does not consider it necessary to work for you. In his opinion, you are not worth such sacrifices. Now think - why do you need such a man?
• Most likely, his relatives will take up arms against you. The classic situation with the husbands "Narcissus" and "Mama's little sons". Indeed, you have encroached on sacred things! Make your beloved child work! Be prepared for attacks and even intrigues. Here you already need the support of your husband.
• We'll have to show character. Pity is a bad counselor, and a helper is even worse. Do not feel sorry for the man in the usual sense of the word: you are doing him a disservice. Your pity will turn him either into a "rascal", incapable of stable earnings, or into a tyrant. You will find yourself guilty and, as practice shows, most likely alone.
• And one more unpleasant "surprise" may await women who want to know how to make a man earn more: the inability to organize a budget. Moreover, a woman's inability. The husband just earns a normal amount of money, but the wife literally wastes it on nonsense, demanding more and more.

Relationships are not easy to build, and sometimes you have to take risks and sacrifices. But if there are sincere and deep feelings between partners, all this pays off many times over and only enhances mutual affection and respect.