How to get pregnant before an exam

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Or what are you doing tonight?

When the last bells ring in schools, students take the cramped corridors of higher educational institutions by storm. Summer session! The most unpleasant time for passing tests and exams. The sun is hot so that thoughts are only about water procedures, and on the nose is another professorial subject. A mass of unprecedented primary sources and an additional list of all the professor's opuses in the discipline being passed.

At the same time, the summer session, in contrast to the frozen-inhibited winter one, is the most fun. In my student years, a greater number of incidents happened precisely during the boil of temperatures and brains. Moreover, the teaching staff, not yielding to the wards in gaiety and resourcefulness, themselves broke the rules with pleasure, joked around and at times even hooliganed. I remember a test in jurisprudence, when a crowd of hungry and angry fellow students waited for two hours for the appearance of their favorite teacher. The audience, heated with anticipation, I argue, has not yet seen the Ph. D. in denim shorts with a naked torso and was burned with a joyful face.

- Friends, I do not deliberately violate etiquette by coming to the sacred ordinance of offset in such an outfit - (examining the outfit) - or rather, almost without an outfit. I beg your pardon from the course, both yours and the course of jurisprudence - my friends took me to the beach … I thought I’ll have time … the headman collect the record books from staunch students … the verdict is not subject to appeal … I’m guilty … I will be punished … everyone who was waiting hard and, apparently, hard-wishing pass, put the test and let go to sunbathe - now it's your turn.

Favorite teacher was wrong only that he was not familiar with the herd feeling of all"

Such curiosities did not happen often; many righteous guardians of science seriously defended the opportunity to take the exam with the careless student public. The following "anecdote" was circulated at the faculty:

Exam in Ancient Literature. The teacher is simply unique, "from God", a real university virtuoso. Coming without preparing for his exams is not just impudence, unheard-of insolence … A student who looks no less impudent (short skirt, neckline on bare breasts) cannot in any way convince a non-surrendering righteous person that she is ready …

- So … what can you tell about Homer … about Odysseus … about the Iliad …

- Ahh … Odysseus and the Iliad … well, they had love …

- Who???

- At the Odyssey and the Iliad !!!

- Girl, I'm sorry for the immodest question, what are you doing tonight?

The young lady, finally waiting for the question in which she was strong, obviously cheered up …

- (flirtatious) Actually, I'm free today …

- Then, please, read Homer. "Odyssey" and "Iliad".

I myself always had to strain on the last nights before the exam. But when Economic Theory is introduced at the Faculty of Journalism, it is difficult to resist the temptation to write a couple of dozen "bombs". Having pulled out a ticket with a scary-looking task, I turned white, because my student's record-book had not yet seen the grade "satisfactory", and I could not count on a greater result.

If someone does not know what spurs with the formidable name "bombs" are, I will explain briefly. The answer to a separate question is written on a separate sheet, the same one with which you come to the exam. Bombs are stacked in a specific order. Ordinal numbers are entered on a small piece of paper, indicating how the answer lies on your knees. Skirts are short, transparent, tight-fitting and remain in the closet. A wide, lightweight one is chosen, preferably with folds … a petticoat with a pocket slightly larger than a notebook sheet in the most interesting place is put on under the bottom. I must say right away: when sewing on a pocket, you must take into account its being in a sitting position strictly on your knees !!! The appearance of a lady who came with "bombs" to "initiates" is always noticeable by the lack of elegance and complete anti-sexual "bottom".

Pulling out the "bomb" requires a certain skill not only of the hands, but also of the person with whom you will have to fumble under the skirt, feeling for the required number. It should be noted that already by the second year the male part of the group gets used to where the ladies usually get the saving sheets from, and stops blushing and gawking at the thighs of unprepared classmates. Either everything has already been seen, or the element of novelty is already missing. But the further to the diploma, the more boring the process and the higher the fullness of the hands.

I found myself in a deplorable situation when I realized that I knew part of one question and part of another. Armed to the waist with answers, I boldly sit down practically opposite the teacher in an auditorium of five tables in a circle. I have successfully put on a skirt with rivets, but here the pocket is sewn clearly above the required level. After "riveting" four pieces of the first from below, you have to sweat over the fifth, which does not lend itself to persuasion or angry twitching … And time passes … The hand should not stay under the table for too long !!!

I make one last attempt to overcome the stubbornness of the rivets, too sharp movement and I almost without a skirt … only one piece remained not riveted, the one on the belt. If it disperses, then … The main thing is not to breathe !!!

The examiner noticed my manipulation at the top of the skirt! My face is writhing in pain, I grab onto my stomach, fastening another rivet at this moment, close my eyes and decide that I’m missing. When I slowly raise my eyelids, our economist looks at me frightenedly and asks: "Are you feeling bad?"

- Yes, something is not good for me … it seems that I was so scared myself that I could be shamefully disclosed that I was even a little choked …

- Maybe open the window?

- Thanks…

She herself gets up and opens. At this moment, I fasten three more rivets, inhale more air and calm down a little. I'm going to answer. I'm talking nonsense, I get "Good" and words of support that, they say, "in my position, it is especially difficult to pass the exam" …

When my classmates asked how the delivery went, I answer honestly:

- She decided that I was pregnant, and I almost gave birth … from fear !!!

If your study days, and most importantly - session days, are not yet numbered, then I advise you to use spurs at least once !!! This will not only open your eyes to the acting potential that is sleeping in the depths, but also show your ability to act instantly in critical situations. If you are a specialist in writing and using heavy examination artillery, then do not be faint-hearted, help others if necessary, it will be counted.