Please consider me a feminist

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

When I was in the institute in my third year, my classmate Denis brought his future wife to class - to get acquainted. The bride's name was Anya, and he introduced us to her as follows: "Fedya is a poet, Asya is the first beauty of the faculty, Evgenia (that is, I am the one) is a stronghold of feminism in our course" …

Everyone laughed, and so did I, although I felt a little uneasy.

Well, okay, you can't call me a poet, I really am not a rival to Asya (I must also say thank you that I was not called the second beauty of the faculty), but I was not noticed in any sexual chauvinism, I treated men generously (not to be confused with "condescending"), sometimes even better than women … There are only three girls on the course, and none of us was caught in an act of gender discrimination (or even an attempt to commit such an act). And then I have to what label they stuck to me: a FEMINIST, and even the mainstay of this area of modern sociology on the basis of the entire course.

I asked my other classmates - why is this Denis me? Maybe I offended him with something? I was answered: you offended us all - look how you treat men. Well, I began to look, carefully analyzing each of my actions in relation to these wondrous creatures, it is not clear why they were offended at me. A few days later, I isolated from my behavior those facts that did not testify in favor of my natural feminine essence.

First: I did not use makeup in college classes, and did makeup only when I went on a date. The headman of our course once said to me: "You girls, even smear your lips, otherwise it seems to us that we are not considered men!"

Second: I was not embarrassed by the obscene words used in jokes. "A real woman should be embarrassed, blush and run away!"

Third: It turns out I was dressing the wrong way. I loved wearing jeans and turtlenecks. "A woman should dress so that she would like to undress immediately!"

And my classmates considered the most terrible crime that I did not allow me to light a cigarette, did not force them to give way to me and carry my heavy bags, I also did not allow me to pay for me in a cafe or in transport and did not pretend to be opened for me. doors and let me go ahead. I refused these signs of attention very politely: “Thank you very much, don’t, I will somehow myself”. But it turns out that this was my biggest sin on the basis of feminism.

How can I explain that the only reason for my “thank you, don’t-I-somehow-myself” lies solely in the utmost respect for men and not understanding the fact that they have to look after me. Why are they worse than me? Why should these respected people, with whom I am accustomed to communicate on equal terms, have to serve me - open doors, serve, light a cigarette, and so on? Why should a classmate with whom we receive the same scholarship have to buy me a bus ticket or coffee at the college cafeteria? And can you imagine what will happen if I buy him this coupon, coffee or a mug of beer?

It turned out to be impossible to explain this, and the fact that I can climb over a fence or jump over a ditch without the help of a friendly male hand is generally considered offensive by my acquaintances.

I turned out to be more understanding and decided to show my characteristic generosity: if they so need my weakness, helplessness and even commercialism, well, I'll try to correspond to their ideas about a real woman, I don't really want to offend my close friends.

But the main lesson for me was the acquaintance with a real parody of me. A new laboratory assistant, Oksana, has come to our department. Girl grenadier. She spoke in a loud bass, cursed and smoked a pipe (in extreme cases, she agreed to "Belomor"). Oksana was always ahead of males, if there was a need to move tables, wardrobes and sofas, and she did not volunteer to help, but simply grabbed this very table, wardrobe or sofa and dragged it, saying: “Eh! All the same, you won't get help from the peasants. " She didn’t just wear jeans - sweaters and didn’t use makeup, Oksana wore men's jackets, hats and smothered herself with men's perfume.

Once she came to the institute in a skirt, my classmate - a womanizer known to the whole institute - made her a pretty decent compliment. Oksana gave him a slap in the face with the words: “Go solicit your girls! I'm not like this! Look, as soon as they see a short skirt, they strive to crawl under it! " Moreover, she herself brought a lighter to both girls and a male representative, once I saw Oksana take a box of vodka from two graduate students in order to carry it to the department herself. Her only argument was, "It's heavy." And yet - a completely anecdotal case - when discussing a film, Oksana, wanting to depict how the main character carried his beloved in his arms, did not think of anything better how to grab a young man (height 180, weight - not small) in her arms and start spin around the room with him at the pace of a waltz.

Seeing all this, I understood why gentle twittering birds, frivolous and flirtatious, never holding anything heavier than a handbag in their hands, are closer and dearer to men. I understood and hurried to reconsider my behavior. Now I go to work in tight skirts; I blush diligently in response to ambiguous compliments; in the morning I spend at least half an hour on makeup; if I am invited to have dinner, then in principle I leave my wallet at home and never carry a lighter with me - why? - after all, there are so many lovely men around who only dream of helping me light a cigarette.

I said: “No to feminism!” Because I was very afraid that someone behind my back would call me “grenadier girl”. But since then, as I felt like a real feminine woman, and not just a friend and companion of my acquaintances men, I began to be very frightened by sexual determinism.

Once, in my colleague's review of a new film, I read the phrase: "… such a common female problem as a choice between two men …" I was shocked and asked for an explanation: do men never have a choice problem. I was told that men do not make problems out of such trifles, such nonsense is the fate of women. I (almost breathlessly) uttered: "This is male chauvinism - say so!" To which I heard the answer: "This is chauvinism among women, and self-awareness among men!"

From this remark, I was numb, I could not find words, but a little later I thought: maybe everything is in vain, maybe I’m in vain that I’m friends with them on equal terms, then I try to correspond to their idea? Maybe we should pull ourselves together and kick our feminism into their masculine self-awareness, eh? …