Let's defend our men

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

How great a holiday! You want to spend it without getting out of bed, doing various pleasant things in it with your beloved, but He has his own masculine point of view on this matter.

The long-awaited day is coming. You prepared a lot of different delicious food, set the festive table and, in anticipation of a magical evening, put yourself in order. And here you are lying next to Him in your most elegant underwear, stroking your mighty biceps with an impatient hand, gently biting his lips … slightest attention. It's a shame.

Do you remember how it all began? He pounced on you like a wild animal as soon as you crossed the threshold of his apartment. He was ready to give you moonlight, a nightingale song and other unnecessary rubbish. He was ready to give his life just to kiss you in a fragrant ear. And now? Your man lies next to a woman languishing with desire, chomps and, holding his breath, watches a festive concert with the participation of Vakhtang Kikabidze, Valery Meladze and Soso Pavliashvili. And after the concert they will show another "Blue Light", and then He, declaring that he is tired, will wish you "Good night", turn on the other side and peacefully fall asleep. So it turns out that instead of an evening of love, you will receive several unpleasant hours of anxiety, bewilderment and suffering. And all because of what? Because of some nasty box full of wires, contacts, circuits and light bulbs.

If such a nuisance has occurred in your life, then you need to urgently act. You can, of course, force Him to intimacy by threatening with a blunt table knife. You can, accurately throwing an improvised tool, smash to smithereens the hated flickering blue screen. Finally, you can feed your capricious person exclusively with sour cream, condensed milk and celery root, periodically adding a Viagra pill to this rich diet, but, unfortunately, this is not a panacea. Your loved one will not last long on such a diet.

A smart woman (and you are, of course, a smart woman) will look for the reason in herself. Therefore, if you want to spend your holiday cheerfully, pleasantly and with maximum benefit for yourself, then start preparing for it in advance. First of all, you need to save money. As soon as you become the happy owner of the treasured amount, you have to decide on a difficult step: to spend this money. And to spend not on a new iron or a Hindi self-study book, no - they must be invested in yourself, beloved. Go to the hairdresser and get a new hairstyle, or better yet, change your hair color. Buy yourself a new perfume, go for a few myostimulation sessions, and visit the local solarium. Buy yourself a new super-erotic underwear and no less erotic dress (let the ungrateful lover die of sexual exhaustion, working out all the hours missed through his own fault).

Do not forget that making an unnecessarily plentiful table is very harmful, because then your man will overeat and will be unable to do anything. Better to feed Him afterwards - as a reward. Before His coming, put on your lips with the brightest lipstick you can find. And when He, right from the doorway, bewildered and perplexed, asks: "What's the matter with you, dear?" - consider that Kikabidze is defeated.

Irina Semyonova