Men are delicious

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Periodically going to a nearby bookstore, I mentally sort out those aspects of human behavior and perception of the world that I would like to learn more about this time. And already with a ready-made "list of preferences" I look at the books in the Popular Psychology section. Tempting offers to "learn to manage other people, their thoughts and destinies" are, of course, good, but not entirely relevant: today I decided to "cope" with myself.

The fact is that with some arrogant contempt I have always bypassed books that openly call to become a magnet for men, or screaming "Drive him crazy!", "Become his obsession" … Yes, I wonder what this soft pink cover hides ? And what prevents me from satisfying my already serious curiosity, just buying and reading, for example, a plump volume "How to achieve the desired love"? I found the strength to confess: for some reason it seemed to me that a pretty and successful girl who enjoys male attention does not read such books. She (and before my mind's eye there and then a kind of diva floated … almost my double, but diligently embellished by me …), they say, so she knows. Everything. Therefore, it does not need guidance, like that! She herself is just right to write such books! Although … for her - yes. And me?

Having fought with myself for another three minutes, I nevertheless cheated: come on, I said to myself, - you will buy the MOST POSING, MOST SCREAMING of these pink monsters. And after reading it, you will be convinced that you were right - all this is dregs, and decay, and utter stupidity.

In the end, I chose a book with a killer title "The Science of Seduction" (by Jeanie Siles), you must admit, the title is just that! The "payback" for the science of seduction at the cash register was unforgettable: the book lovers standing in line reacted mercilessly. "Every experience is important - it is needed in order to be ready for the strangest life surprises and unexpected discoveries" - I consoled myself on the way home. And she was right: a surprise was waiting for me on the pages of the book I bought. It began with the words "Men are amazing!" Oh my God! How so?! Accustomed, leafing through the numerous "women's periodicals", to adequately perceive the eternal "all men are goats", veiled in one way or another, I was not ready for such a sharp turn … therefore, I delved into the study of "Science of seduction" with special enthusiasm.

I am happy to share my impressions!

The author offers an interesting concept of being next to men: not fighting, not opposing anyone to anyone, not overly pleasing, but also, discarding egocentrism, to coexist in peace and harmony. How? There are many tips. And to me, having re-read a lot of literary, artistic and journalistic works about how to fight men, how to curry favor with men, how to win men and how to use them then, the advice to just enjoy life next to men seemed very attractive! First of all, we, women, need to (try) to understand that the words that we say about men to OURSELVES form the system of our stable ideas about men. And what we say about men to other people cements this system. By the way, even seemingly innocently agreeing with the opinion of the majority, so to speak, out of politeness, you, too, gradually form your attitude towards men, and the SAME as the opinion of this very majority, even if you do not even think about doing it!

A great example is the situation of an ordinary bachelorette party. Remember how the last time your girlfriends ardently proved the correctness of the indestructible "they are all goats!" And you, even if you didn’t agree, nodded strenuously: “Yes! Yes!”, Because you wanted to support your friends out of solidarity. And then try to object! It’s scary to imagine what would have started if you answered something like: "No, girls! I don’t think so at all! I’m sure MEN ARE AMAZING!"

However, Jeanie Siles advises to answer this way, discarding the attempts of solidarity, because by agreeing with negative statements about men, you are doing yourself a disservice in the first place.

It turns out that in order to tune our minds to a positive wave of relationships with worthy men, you need to monitor what you agree with. And carefully protect your inner "delightful" attitude from the negative impact of "victims of pessimism."

Water, as you know, wears away the stone. And in the same way, thoughts and words that "they all need one!", "They are all bastards!", "They are all the same!" and others, of the same kind, do their dirty work gradually and imperceptibly, drawing you into the ranks of "man-haters". Even if you personally do not have a specific reason to become one. You also need to become attractive to those who are attractive to you! Agree, this is quite logical.

One of the ways to achieve this harmony is this: drop the thoughts of men giving you continuous trouble! And then, the hour is uneven, and this is exactly what you will grab. From now on, you need to focus your attention ONLY on those men who deserve your admiration. And the point. And one more thing: never tell a man about how his predecessor behaved like a pig with you. On the contrary, in every possible way let him understand how the One, the Former One, loved you and fabulously spoiled you (but don't overdo it, measure is good in everything!). And to the question that has arisen, why such a magical relationship was interrupted, one can profoundly answer that they "have exhausted themselves." Elegantly and without unnecessary specifics.

I experienced quite contradictory feelings while reading the chapter about trying to "treat men with compassion." Sympathize with them? !!! No! But after repeating the recommended mantra "Men are delicious!" three times, I thought: but He is also worried and worried, embarrassed and lost in conjecture about me, like me … I imagined my current chosen one in a variety of situations - and I realized that, indeed, he, and all delicious men in general deserve sympathy and empathy, because they, like us, amazing women, face a host of life problems of all kinds. And they probably don't react to them the way overconfident Supermen do. They are familiar with despondency and lack of confidence in their own capabilities, and many others, so well known to any of us, worthy of sympathy experiences!

OK. Persuaded … From now on "I treat them with sympathy." I empathize. And, of course, I "rejoice", because to look and BE cheerful and self-sufficient is not only useful, pursuing a selfish goal to please men. This is also extremely pleasant for me. Therefore, guided by the advice of the author of "The Science of Seduction", I will become my very best friend. Like this: first you need to learn to consider everything that I have attractive, ONLY BECAUSE IT IS MINE! That is, both myself and the subject of my preferences a priori deserve approval and admiration.

Then I practice the ability to confidently defend my point of view, whatever it may be. This is important because if I myself cannot stand up for myself, who else will do this noble cause? From now on, I will give myself a little more kindness than usual. And in the most difficult moments, when the feeling that I am abandoned by everyone and impossibly lonely is especially rampant, I will remember that I will definitely have the strength to withstand and win."The main thing is not to allow yourself to give up on yourself!" And even better - to give yourself more attention and care than any of the men can give you. I invite myself to the premiere, to the beauty salon, or just take a walk in the park. The more often the better … Why not?

The following postulate requires a certain amount of courage: do not maintain relationships with either relatives or friends who allow themselves to humiliate you. However, each of us, alas, has a memory of a situation involving one or another well-wisher, under the depressing title "with the best of intentions", which is really painful to remember. What if you part with the "hero" of your painful experiences? Even if it's the proverbial Best Friend? After all, a real Best Friend is, first of all, a vixen who loves and trusts you, and does not bring frank harm. And by becoming a Best Friend for yourself, you will get rid of the obsessive need for universal approval. And this will make life much easier!

So what happens? Have I read the self-respect and love guide again? And as a result of this, guarantees of happiness, personal and social, with the help of their own self-sufficiency? No, of course, the book also contained advice on caring for one's own appearance, and on navigating in the space of subtle flirting … But the main idea is still harmony with oneself. First of all. And only then the "side effects" of such in the form of all-round happiness and success. And, in general, agree, although the idea of gaining self-sufficiency, and then sincere love and respect of the people around us, is not new, it is still difficult to bring it to life. After all, it’s one thing to repeat that “you need to love yourself” and that “if you don’t love yourself, then hardly anyone will love you”. And it is quite another to really love yourself, accept your shortcomings and appreciate, without diminishing or exalting, evaluate the strengths of your own nature. And only then, thanks to the ability to love ourselves, we begin to understand what it is to "love someone else", to respect someone else's right to freedom, someone else's feelings and thoughts. To do this, apparently, is very, very difficult, otherwise books with such useful advice would have long lost their undoubtedly high demand.

Well, let me recommend you one more try. So, "Men are amazing! You are amazing!" - now it's the motto. Although … remember this: "Men are amazing! BUT NOT PERFECT!"