Why didn't I give birth to a baby before 30

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Today more and more women give birth after 30. Someone is building a career, someone is saving up a budget, someone is just living for themselves. Everyone has different reasons and everyone has different views on this "late" motherhood. Our author honestly told why she decided to give birth only after 30 years.

Medicine professor Robert Winston said: “Women have been postponing childbirth further and further, and I think that's a good thing. This way they manage to acquire the necessary skills and education and bring more benefits to society."

I agree with him. He also said that a woman who prefers to wait with children is safer because she already knows what kind of partner she needs and how to create a stronger relationship. This is true. But not so at the same time.

So, because we really are in a longer relationship with someone before we have children. And these relationships have time to be tested by a variety of situations - lack of work, stress, illness, moving, and this only becomes stronger.

But the birth of children is like a bomb explosion - it is not known whether the fact that you have been married for a long time will help this event. Anything happens in life. Professor Winston (I read several of his articles) also said: “I am very sad to hear when doctors say what age is right for a woman to give birth. We must accept that society is changing and we must support women who give birth later in life because they feel they are already sufficiently capable of giving the necessary care to their children. And here I completely agree.

So why did I decide to postpone having children in my life? To begin with, I met my husband when I was already 28. He proposed to me 2 years later, and a year later we got married.

I wanted us, before having children, to live for some time for ourselves, to check each other out. At the same time, I was afraid that all the optimal terms for childbirth would pass, so after a year we began to try to get pregnant. Fortunately, we did it quickly, and at 33 I gave birth to a son.

But I was also expecting a second child - 4 years. There were two reasons - financial and my personal feelings. To raise two children at once, I would have to leave the job that I just found and which I really liked. And, to be honest, I was very afraid to be left alone at home with two small children.

Therefore, we waited until our son was one year old, and only then began to try again. A month before my 37th birthday, I found out that I was pregnant. At my age, I'm not alone. According to statistics, over the past 20 years, half of all newborns appeared in women after 30 years, and the number of those who gave birth after 40 is also growing.

When my daughter went to kindergarten, I almost felt like an old woman. But most of the mothers of children from the same group were only a year or two younger than me. Now I have 3 friends, they became mothers at the age of 40, and one of them had only her first child. Why have they all waited so long?

Girls graduate from the institute at 22-23 years old. Some then take a pause for a year - to travel, for example, to see the world (I did so). Then they start building a career, looking for housing. In addition, they are looking for a life partner.

Among other things, I decided that I must definitely afford to provide for the children financially before having them. And I didn’t want to sit on my husband’s neck, but I myself wanted a stable job (and I have it).

Today, women have a difficult time deciding when to have children. Waiting for the perfect man? Looking forward to buying your own big home? Wait for something else … And at the same time, medicine tells us that after 35 we have an increased risk of infertility.

All of this is stressful. And still, we all give birth when we can - after all, circumstances are almost never ideal, as we originally dreamed and wanted.

Therefore, I also believe that women who want to give birth after 30 should be supported, not censured. And what do you think?