Intruders: what to do with them and how to avoid them

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

“The mother-in-law is coming to visit. Take to live for a couple of weeks”- from the announcements on the women's forum.

Do you love unexpected guests? And the guests do not mean at all the girlfriend who ran in for tea, and not the crowd of friends with whom you selflessly sing songs with a guitar. We are talking about guests with a capital G - about those, after whom there is an empty refrigerator, a cat who has fallen into hysterics and a firm conviction: "Never again!"

WORSE TATARIN

Masha:

- Somehow a guy from Moscow came to visit me. We met in Smolensk, he is an actor, he came to us on tour, and I did the plot there. Then they began to communicate. We had a great time with him in Smolensk. And in the evening he drove home. And then I wake up one morning, and I receive a message: "Hello, what are you doing?" I answer: "I am sleeping." He told me: "And I came to visit you."

I used to dream of some similar story, but in reality the person was very unawares. We quarreled, he went for a walk around the city alone. I was going through. In the evening he came with a big teddy bear. In the end, we parted well, but he never came to visit me. And I still sleep with his bear.

To avoid such situations, watch your tongue. Often we throw in a conversation: "Well, don't forget, come visit." For you, this is so, turn of speech, but a person, perhaps, is already starting to pack his suitcases.

Rule # 1. Do not invite anyone to visit out of politeness or for the sake of good words.

It also happens…

Faith:

- Once they invited us with a young man for a birthday barbecue in the picnic area. We only knew the birthday boy. We arrive at the place - there all the faces are unfamiliar, the hero of the occasion has gone somewhere (he ran for a drink). We met and drank wine. In an hour, everyone became the best friend. The birthday man returns, and here the embarrassment is not the same. It turned out that the clearing was mistaken. They escorted us to the desired glade, then they all rested together.

I HAVE COME TO YOU FOREVER TO LOCATE

In our time, when personal space is an almost sacred concept, a request to let live for a few days is perceived as an invitation to execution.

When my father’s sister’s second cousin comes to your city for a visit and two daughters going to college, and intends to live with you “for a couple of weeks, no more,” it’s embarrassing to refuse her hospitality. It is impossible to offer your aunt to go to the hotel - the relatives will be offended and will not understand. In this case, it will be less evil to lie than to grit your teeth for several weeks and eventually break loose.

Rule # 2. It is better to refuse right away than to come up with reasons later, as if it would be more tactful to invite unexpected guests to get away.

Let them know what you have

- renovation begins;

- you decided to leave and rent the apartment for a while.

If you have a warm relationship with the prospective guests, but you don't want to let anyone into your house, you can find them an inexpensive rented apartment and even help with part of the payment.

On the other side…

Nadya:

- My husband and I are journalists, we go on business trips a lot. It's great when there is an opportunity to stay with friends. No one has money for a hotel, and they want to save some money. Therefore, we never refuse those who ask to stay with us for a few days, knowing that tomorrow we will need the same service.

HELLO I'M YOUR AUNT

Oleg:

- Twice a year we have a full house at home: the wife's relatives, who study in absentia, come to our city for a session. Usually it is two weeks of hell - first they teach at night, then they drink at night. In their free time, they are asked to entertain, show Red Square and take them to Ikea. Our kopeck piece is becoming like a student dormitory - notes, books are everywhere, inflatable mattresses are spread out on the floor. We don't smoke with my wife, and they still strive to smoke in the kitchen through the window at night. The last straw was that after passing the next exam, the guys brought guests to our house - the owners, they say, will not mind, such a holiday! I could not resist and said that next year we will not be able to accept them, because we are starting to make repairs. They were a little offended, but peace of mind is dearer to me than family relations.

Vitaly Pakhomov, psychologist:

- The discomfort associated with the reception of intruders is explained by the violation of the boundaries of personal space. This is a natural feeling, there is no need to be ashamed of it. To minimize the inconvenience caused by the visit of guests, it is necessary to say that you remain the host in the house. Don't change your daily routine. The order and order of the house must remain yours. If the visit lasts long enough, you need to discuss who cleans the apartment, buys food and prepares lunch.

If it was not possible to avoid the invasion of guests and they have been laying out their cots for the second week, asking for towels, suffocating with your perfume and squeezing your cat, then it is time to take measures to protect their borders.

- Stop cooking, entertaining, and staying late at night with guests.

- Ask the "guests" about the exact date of departure.

- Wedge like a wedge: explain that you are waiting for the next batch of guests, so it's time to "empty the room."

Rule # 3. A guest who has lived in your home for more than a week will automatically cease to be considered a guest. This is already a tenant, so feel free to shift to him some of the housework, the purchase of groceries and other household chores.

Could be so…

Masha:

- Once two girls-friends, whom he did not like very much, wandered over to my friend, and began to behave in a boorish manner: it is not good to joke, to speak taunts and nasty things. At the request to leave, they giggled stupidly and remained sitting. Then Mitya took a spray bottle and with a pshik made them retreat to the door.

Natalia, mini-hotel administrator:

- The main thing is that the guests know that you are the hostess here and your decision is not subject to discussion. There are, of course, guests who make noise and swear. In an amicable way, you need to call the police, but after all, a person does not want to spoil the rest, maybe he just drank too much, so he made a scandal. In such cases, I call Gregory - this is our neighbor, such a huge guy. Usually brawlers from just one look at Gregory calm down.