What kind of man does a woman need?

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

As soon as two (three, four, ten) women have a glass of cognac with lemon or a cup of tea with a cake, relax and lean back on a chair in home comfort or on an office chair during a corporate party, the TOPIC appears in the air by itself. This theme can have different names, for example, "Eh, the man was crushing!", "No, no, girls, nowadays they are normal men!" or "You see, all the princes are on white horses!" Answering the question: What kind of man does a woman need? Examples follow:

Now Nadezhda Lvovna, a 50-year-old widow, does not see worthy applicants around her, but she is even more worried that her 30-year-old daughter Anya is still not only not married, but she does not even meet with anyone. Here is Marina Valentinovna, a 39-year-old pretty intellectual living with her parents and having a protracted SMS romance with a man from another city who is not going to come to her. Here is Sveta, a 23-year-old bright blonde who has many boyfriends, but no worthy one. Gradually, the face of a "grinded man" appears: he is inattentive, untidy, impolite, rude, prone to adultery, drinking, baths, girls, childish, aggressive, greedy and unromantic. After which Marina Valentinovna blushes, having received another love SMS, and rushes to write an answer, Nadezhda Lvovna raises a glass "for our children and for them, finally, to have a personal life", and Sveta hastily says goodbye to everyone, sits down in the car of the next "non-prince" and leaves at night.

I have a friend, a great guy, he is 27 years old. He is not handsome, "for everyone to go crazy", but he is not a freak, tall, pleasant, with a higher education, with a low but stable income. Drinks on holidays, is going to quit smoking. In relationships with girls, he is romantic (poems, flowers, gifts), courteous, generous, does not make any special claims to his appearance, he can be delighted with a big nose, and with a small chest, and with plump legs of the chosen one. For several years now, he has been dreaming of a family, a child, says that he is tired of loneliness. Ideal for the image that men do not match in women's conversations. The question is, why was it not "disassembled"? At a time when for ten girls there are not even nine, but a maximum of five or six children, this prince with an open soul and a kind heart was out of work … Here is a paradox!

How often do we expect and demand from some men that which, in principle, is not characteristic of them, while others fully possess it. But for some reason we do not need these others … And we are expecting a lot. For example…

… romance

We say that we expect romance from men, we want flowers, gifts, posters with the words "Valechka, you are the best!" on the main square of the city and meter-by-meter inflatable hearts on Valentine's Day. And yourself …

One of my friends liked a guy from a parallel group at the institute. He, too, showed signs of attention to her, but did not take any further action. The friend languished, making plans for kind of random meetings and phone calls about very important notes and questions for the test. But then one day the guy himself decided to take the first step, quite romantic. A friend says: "I am driving myself calmly in a crowded trolleybus, at the back window. And suddenly I see him walking along the sidewalk. He also sees me, smiles with all his mouth, speeds up his step, then starts to run, faster and faster! And at the same time, very faithfully, like a dog, he looks into my eyes! Passengers around begin to giggle and enjoy watching me and the dude happily running after the trolleybus. I felt very uncomfortable. At the next stop, I got off, he ran up all out of breath and red. He invited me to a cafe, spent a lot of money there, fussed around me, then, accompanying me home, bought a bouquet of roses, said something about the stars. I can't see him anymore! "What would happen if this young man met my friend the next day at the entrance with a huge inflatable heart, and it's hard to imagine.

… delicate long courtship, and "not only sex"

If you need delicacy and long courtship, why then do you constantly think about that impudent man who, while slowly dancing in a dark room, hotly whispered in your ear: "I want you terribly!"? And about the shy man who accompanied you home and did not even dare to kiss you goodbye on the cheek, it seems like there is nothing to remember.

"But how could he ?! What does he allow himself ?! I'm not like that! If he thought it was so easy with me!.." How many thoughts and feelings, how much passion! Whatever one may say, but physiology takes its toll. And most of all you will be drawn to that man who is interested in you as a woman, provided, of course, that you like him as a man. And the most explosive and exciting mixture is an intelligent, witty man who is good-looking and at the same time does not hide a burning desire to take possession of you - a shy woman! Yes, all women's novels are based on such heroes! And women continue to convince themselves and other women that it is unpleasant for them to be treated as a sexual object.

Of course, it's a completely different matter when the initial heat of passion faded away, and you realize that he really needs him only for regular sex. This is very unpleasant and deserves universal condemnation. And again we ask the question: what kind of man does a woman need?

… lack of flaws ("And he also has a garage, and he goes to it!")

His addictions and inclinations in the form of love for computer games, meeting with friends in the bathhouse, picking his car or fanning for his favorite football team have always been, at least in their infancy. You knew about them and considered them cute features that only complement the image of a real man. Why, then, after the wedding, did you write them down as shortcomings and demand that He become different ?!

There is no need to fight with the "shortcomings" of your man. You just need to build your life so that you yourself live comfortably, despite some peculiarities in his behavior. For example, I know two families in which the problem with her husband, a hacker-gamer, has been successfully "solved". In the first, the wife, previously annoyed by the constant sight of her husband's back against the background of the monitor, took up an evening hobby - embroidery. And she was so carried away that now her husband now and then pesters her with kisses and conversations, making it difficult to count the crosses. In another family, all questions disappeared immediately after the birth of the child, giving way to new concerns of young parents.

… and in general - "Why am I so unlucky with men ?!"

It has long been noted that a woman, once divorced, often starts dating a man again, similar to the previous drunkard, aggressor or womanizer. Why it happens? No, not because, having burned herself once and then seeing a "bruise" hugging a bottle at a party, she happily thinks: "There is a handsome man sitting there. I'm going to meet him. What if he doesn't drink?"

She is simply subconsciously impressed by the model of behavior characteristic of former men, while the model is reproduced most often with a plus sign: for example, an aggressive man in a calm state may seem domineering and strong-willed, and explain his inadequate behavior with strong love and jealousy. An alcoholic is often a merry fellow, the soul of the company, a witty and creative person. The womanizer knows how to seduce and look after beautifully.

So, remembering all your exes and finding in them something in common, uniting, you can understand what type of "bad" men you are drawn to. And already based on this, figure out how to make sure that this very type no longer gets in your way and does not break your personal life again.

Though bad, but your own, dear …

This is the answer to all the questions about why a disgruntled woman still lives with her "crushing man", sometimes all her life, sometimes until the "dog" leaves her.

My friend Natasha, a real business woman, has long understood that she has outgrown her husband in every sense. She has business meetings, contracts, big money, new projects, communication with famous and influential people. He has total unemployment, daily gatherings with friends for a beer or something stronger, and righteous anger about his wife's delays at work. She justifies all this with one phrase: "But you see THAT walks the streets … and this is her own, dear, sits at home." As one satirist joked: "Husband? Yes, there is a husband! Where? Yes, there he is - grazing, gray with apples!"

So, answering the question: what kind of man does a woman need? We conclude: as long as we live with men only for the sake of the status of a married lady and demand from them what, in principle, they cannot give us, without noticing other gentlemen, good, but unnecessary, conversations on the eternal aforementioned topics in the circle will not stop girlfriends and colleagues.

P. S

Someone might think that by writing this article, I decided to put women in a stupid light and put unworthy men on a pedestal. Not at all. To be honest, I myself often nod in agreement, participating in ladies' conversations, because there are really not so many good, kind, attentive, sensitive and generous men around. But all the same, I sincerely cannot understand why my romantic friend turned out to be out of work in this case … Stop. But I myself, seeing him for the first time, for some reason immediately turned my attention to a much less romantic guy standing next to him, who wasted no time, kissed me that same evening and later became my husband …

By the way, the topic of men is widely considered in the "Love" section of our women's online magazine! Surely you will find something new and useful there for yourself!