10 ways to end baby tantrums

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Almost all mothers at least once in their lives have faced the tantrums of their child, who, with the help of screams and tears, is trying to force an adult to do it his own way. How to wean a baby from misbehaving? Here are 10 effective tips with which you can gradually get rid of the problem.

• Make sure your child is receiving some kind of emotional reinforcement from you? It is very important to understand that the reaction of parents to a hysteria, whether positive or negative, is recorded by the child, and in case of a “positive outcome” for him, he will only improve his “skills of influence” on others. Think about it: if you change your mind at least once under the pressure of children's cries and tears and allow what was previously forbidden, the child will resort to this method the next time.

  At the same time, if you are upset, threaten, shout, taunt or spank a child, most likely, he will not stop hysterical. But a quarrel with a parent can cause harm to the child's psyche. So what do you do? Make sure you don't "reward" the child for the tantrum at all. Ideally, stay calm as if nothing had happened. At the very least, refrain from yelling and assault.

Try to predict the reasons for the tantrums. Analyze situations in which the baby ceases to control himself, and at the first signs of distraction, change the wording of the questions that cause his violent reaction. For example, instead of an unambiguous statement: “And you have porridge for breakfast today”, create a choice condition for him: “It's time to have breakfast. What do you want more: porridge or stew? Fritters with sour cream or jam? " If, for some reason, it is necessary for the child to eat a certain dish, you can redirect his attention to the choice of details. For example: “Are you going to eat semolina porridge from a yellow plate or from a red one with polka dots? Are you going to drink milk from a glass or mug? " Early warning about leaving guests or from the playground can also help reduce the heat

For example, when leaving your family, you can tell your baby: "In ten minutes we will be leaving grandma, so finish all your business here." If you notice that the child becomes unmanageable when tired, create the conditions for him to take a nap.

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  Consequences of misconduct. The tantrum of the little manipulator should not be forgotten; it is imperative to draw the baby's attention to the consequences. For example, if a child threw a tantrum in a toy store, demanding that they buy him the hundred and second car, the next time he went shopping, you could say: “Remember, the last time we were in the store, you threw a tantrum from - because I didn't let you take that car? Do you remember how you kept stuffing a toy into the cart and yelling with all your might for me to buy it for you? Today I go shopping alone because I have no particular desire to deal with this behavior. You stay at home with your grandmother (aunt, dad, grandfather, nanny). Try to draw the correct conclusion from this. I love you, see you!"

Choose a special "hysterical spot". After all, the only one who really suffers from hysteria is you rather than a child. Your head is splitting, your ears are pounding from shrill screams, and you feel that you are not able to cope with this unpleasant situation. But you can quite choose a place for his tantrums. For example, as soon as the whimpering begins, immediately declare: “Tantrum for the bedroom! Let's go! " Or offer him a choice of a couple of the most "noise-proof" places: "Where do you want to stay until you come to your senses and do not cope with it: in the bathroom, in the hallway, in the bedroom?"

If the child himself is confused and cannot decide, quickly make a choice for him: "Get out of the room until you finish screaming and crying."

Encourage exceptions. Think about situations where the child might have thrown a tantrum, but held back and did not. Show your child that you value and are proud of his composure. Notice, analyze such moments with him, encourage his endurance

Give the child's inappropriate behavior a name. This will help the baby in his mind to separate the problem from himself. Then it will be easier to get rid of any "stuck" or "anger". Now you and your child will be able to resist the "bad guys" who sometimes "capture" the baby. You can delight in the fact that every day it becomes easier for him to defeat the "evil" and control his behavior, discuss with him how to get rid of them better and more successfully, find out how they come, and share experience on how to defeat them

• Empathize, empathize. Accepting the child's experiences is a conversation on an equal footing, not from the perspective of an elder. This conversation is often more productive and sets the stage for a child to start working on their own problems as they grow up. Here's an example of a daughter-mom conversation in a store:

  

  D: Mom, can I have this doll?

  M: No, today we were not planning to buy toys.

  D: This doll is the only one that is not in my collection! Buy it, I will have everything!

  M: No, daughter, not today.

  D: You never buy me what I ask! You do not love me!

  M: I understand you. It’s probably very hard for you because you cannot get this doll. I know how it feels, I also feel bad when I can't get what I want.

  D: Yes, I really really really want this doll!

  M: You know what, let me write down in my diary that this doll is a thing that you really, really want, okay?

  D: Okay Mom!

  As a result, the child calmed down, and in the future, at some suitable moment, you will be able to buy a dream toy.

Tell us about your further action plan. For example, like this: "I will gladly talk with you about this, but only when you can speak calmly."

Ignore the tantrum. If you have enough willpower, ignore the screams and tears. But be careful: your child's behavior may even get worse at first. Having already had the experience of throwing tantrums and seeing that his screams are ignored, he may break all his records

And if you still succumb to the temptation to react, then the intensity and duration of subsequent tantrums will increase. After all, the child will notice how long and strong the hysteria should be in order to attract the attention of adults.