Ice age in bed

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

As the song says: "Yesterday I looked into my eyes, but now everything looks sideways …" Yesterday, no matter how much you kiss, everything was not enough, and then the passions subsided, keeping within the unpretentious "once a week." More and more often, instead of looking at me, he looks at the blue screen, goes to bed, and really, SLEEP with his back turned …

And they also say that men need more, I thought sadly, looking at the pajama pattern on my husband's back. And what to do now? Especially if you yourself still need to and very, very, and sometimes even often, often and with strawberries … And I have absolutely no urge to endure, my nerves are giving in. And what is Saturday? How many Saturdays a week? One!

In short, "the time has come, she woke up," deciding that it would be nice to turn back the clock and relive the "honeymoon" again. Or maybe … more than once or twice. What to do? As the saying goes, whoever needs more should be puzzled by the problem, so I decided to start the "metamorphoses" with myself. And she went …

To the store

A stereotype that has set the teeth on edge: in order to arouse … uh-uh, a man's interest in himself, you need to change yourself. So, in a week I turned from a blonde to a redhead, signed up for a massage and bought 3 sets of underwear: black in poppies, lace copper-red and blue. Hmm … the result is 3: 0 in favor of the TV, that is, no result! NO-KA-KO-GO!

I re-read an article in a magazine on this topic - well, here, in black and white: "Change yourself, your style of clothing, makeup, go to a hairdresser. Become different!" I did so, and what is the end result? Did not work. Maybe because my husband doesn't read women's magazines? Let's try the other side.

Monitoring of men's publications led to disappointing conclusions - men are interested in: cars - 50% of materials, women - 30%, hunting, diving, sports, food - the remaining 20%. Yeees…

Trying not to panic, I decided to use the meager advice available in the magazines. "Do unexpected things," wrote one of them, "for example, meet your husband from work in an apron, dressed over his naked body." For some reason I remembered an old anecdote: "And you, dear, bake everything, bake …"

But there was nowhere to retreat and I decided to try. I had to run to the store again, this time to the Department Store, to buy an apron "a la hostess's dream." And by 7 pm I was ready! The phone rang: "Kid, I'm late, I'll be there in an hour and a half." About 30 minutes later I froze, but the desire to see it through to the end prevailed over the cold and awkwardness. And to give courage and maintain a fighting spirit, I had to turn to the same men's magazine again. “What a pity,” an unknown author lamented in him, “our women do not always understand how important novelty, impromptu and oral sex are for us. We are looking for pleasure on the side, although we could get the same at home.”

The bell rang, and thinking about how to give my beloved oral pleasure more extreme, I opened the front door. On the threshold stood her husband and … his cousin. Heck! Although my brother, in my opinion, liked it.

Shower conversation

Needless to say, my husband was not happy … He was surprised, and so much so that he offered to "discuss what is happening." Well, let's discuss it. On this occasion, I fell into a real hysterics and told him everything: about Saturday "sessions" at 9 am, and about my useless spending on linen, and even about how I hate these idiotic magazines! I probably screamed and cried, I don't remember. Consciousness returned already in my soul, where my husband, "carried away by the conversation," dragged me on him. Cool water poured down my face, then over the stupid apron "a la the dream of a country mistress", my beloved loosened his grip, seeing that I was finally coming to my senses. And then the most interesting thing happened: he kissed me, and … Then came what we usually do on Saturday morning. Did it work?

Later, wet and tired, we got into bed and continued the conversation. “You see, I work a lot,” the husband said quietly. Well, of course, but did you work less before? "Over time, in general, everything becomes different, is it really wrong with you? I'm not 20 years old, so that sex is in the first place, my head is full of a lot of things, and when I go to bed, I want one thing - to sleep. Maybe you get a dog, you will get more tired … ". "Maybe I should have a lover?" - I snapped and turned away first.

I didn't have a lover … A dog too. Overcoming my shame, I went to a sex shop for a vibrator, but I didn't buy anything for myself, as I jumped out a minute later and ran without turning around for a couple of blocks, roaring and smearing makeup on my face. Need to do something!

A thin world and its unexpected consequences

Probably, after going to the sex shop, I broke down. She felt sorry for herself, crying for another half of the evening. And then … I had to come up with a new plan! How is it in "The Taming of the Shrew"? Hero Adriano Celentano chopped wood, and the shepherd rang the bells. "I'm not the only one," I thought proudly. It remains only to find an alternative to the bell and firewood. A little pretentious, and maybe even hysterical, it looked from the outside when I, dressed in a black set in bright red poppies, stood in front of the mirror with a glass of wine in hand, promising my reflection to conquer the world and prove to everyone who did not want me (ha -ha!) that I am very much even worth a lot.

The plan was as follows: change my job for a better one (it took a month of searching, but in the end I was hired in a large company for a position with a salary one and a half times more than the previous one), enroll in belly dancing courses (I wanted to do it for a long time) and go to a massage session. Yes, and most importantly, I stopped harassing my husband, just like that - I overpowered myself and stopped.

I didn’t declare war on him, I was affable, friendly and friendly, I accepted, so to speak, his rules of the game “at our age (and this is 30 years old!) And I went headlong into work - I'll try it like him: a lot of work "equals" little energy for frivolous thoughts.

We also made love on Saturdays. And the rest of the time I gave him a massage (without a hint of eroticism), I could stroke, pinch, kiss on the cheek, passing by, but again, without bothering, but just like that … Without waiting for the continuation. This went on for probably a month. At first, the husband tensed at every such "kiss", everyone was afraid that now they would begin to "rape" him. Then I relaxed. But then, which is quite surprising, he suddenly became puzzled by the question: what is it with her? And he began to watch me intently. What about me?! I’m still the same, except perhaps that I have become more independent, but outwardly I have not changed! And even returned to the former "blonde" hair color. As soon as he saw that I might not have the time and desire for him, he SUDDENLY wanted everything! And not only on Saturday. Don't believe me?

The moral of this fable: dear friends! There is only one way to end the "ice age" in bed - stop waiting for its end and, finally, take care of yourself. Oh no, I'm not talking about a hairdresser, a masseur and 3 sets of underwear (although the one with poppies is still very good!), I'm talking about MYSELF, a beloved, self-sufficient, self-confident, and … where will he go then!