My perfect love

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

Probably, for everyone, Love is associated with a Miracle. The miracle that you are waiting for, that you crave. You crave with impatience. With a sweet sinking heart. It is this feeling that gives rise to the desire to live and the desire to create in us! And it is not at all necessary to love your neighbor or work colleague. Sometimes the Soul wants Love Unattainable, if you want - Unrealizable.

First you fall in love with the voice, then with the Images, then with the Actor, the Singer, who creates these images. I want Love - the ideal. The one they write about in the books. Tristan and Isolde, Onegin and Tatiana, Master and Margarita …

You don't want to see your object of love in sweatpants with bubbles on the knees and with an unwashed head. You have no desire to hear his complaints about undersalted borscht and the lack of clean socks. He does not come home in the morning, which means that you have no cause for concern. You turn on the TV - and it is with you, as promised. You turn off the TV - and sleep well, his snoring is not heard over your ear. He claims nothing. But he, it is He who is the embodiment of your Dream, your Ideal. I don’t know how it all started … Although, probably, with fatigue. Fatigue from the presence of the weak, fickle, always moping and always afraid of something"

And so I want to meet an ideal man, a kind of knight of the Middle Ages, brought up in the spirit of respectful respect for a lady!

… And then one day, when you come to the conclusion that you need exactly SUCH a man, and no other, you start looking. Painful, long, hard. One, second, third, hundredth, but it's not that … … I know firsthand about the fear of famous people to become just a ghost of their glory. They do not want to be seen in them not only a star of theater or cinema, a famous DJ or singer. They do not want the images they create on the screen to be associated with them personally. Such perception (in a stripped down version) of their multifaceted personality is not too pleasant for them. But you can't open your Soul to everyone ?!

And most often it happens: behind the shell, behind the Images, none of the fans, not close people, are able to break through … to the very core, to the very nerves.

As strange as it sounds from the lips of a person who lives a hundred kilometers from the Hero, but sometimes you really want him to become a friend or even a friend. The person to whom you can come with misfortune and joy, whom you could personally congratulate on your birthday, and not the pages of the Guest Book on his website. Tell me, was it necessary to be friends with him before the start of his career, or to be from "this circle"?

Let me disagree: he is just like me or my friends. Yes, more people know him than me, but because of this he did not begin to grow wings behind his back, he did not become God, or, as in the song, "demigod". He's the same. So why can't I be interesting to him? I, too, have achieved a lot in this life, there are a lot of plans ahead. So why is it unattainable? What can one person give to another, except for a drop of warmth? And what could be more than that?

This option with the ideal immediately disappeared … So far I have not met either Oleg Menshikov, or Sasha Vasiliev, or Marat Basharov, walking down the street hoping to see me.

… This guy was not a star. Perhaps the local, but we were on a par with him. He has been fooling me for years. Friend. In the end, he got married. True, not on me. But in the spring, when it is especially acutely realized that you want something sharp, not yet bored, "withdrawal" begins. No worse than a drug addict. And the wife should not be cheated on, but she wants to. It took me a tremendous effort to get rid of this obsession, from the nightmare called "male friendship". It simply does not exist.

Why be friends with a woman if you can sleep with her?

… Then we also became friends, even loved. But each is a different person. I, as usual, is his, and he is also His. We figured it out, drove it. But more and more I wanted to meet a normally oriented … Preferably, with honest principles of a strong man.

Sometimes I want to forget about my career, about money. I would like, as it should be, to become the keeper of the hearth, to give birth to a couple of healthy, pink-cheeked toddlers, to meet and accompany my husband to work. Such is the ideal.

… It is incredibly difficult to answer the question why the heart is given to this particular person, and not to another … The answer will always sound absurd. Why one day, like a warm, small, fluffy lump in your heart, lodges love for the object "A", not, for example, for the object "L"? Why? You cannot give an answer, and so I cannot.

Why am I, according to the apt expression of my closest friend, "I am in a state of love permanently," and now I am sad and depressed and do not pay attention to men in principle?

I am in search of ideal love … I am looking and I do not find ….

Well, there is no such thing in the whole wide world! Not yet…

Yes, and I am not ideal … But I really want a Man, maybe not to be Ideal for the whole world, but to be Ideal for me personally …

So that it is about him that I could say that he is my soul mate. I do not sit at home, I constantly meet with all sorts of people, I go to parties and birthdays, to the cinema and to concerts. My glances sometimes stop on some subject I like, but … my heart does not constrict in this joyful anticipation: "He! This is him!"

Such that next to him it was not scary to walk the streets (hooligans now, at least preserve).

Such that he was not afraid to love. And so that he did not do this, as in the first grade, when the highest degree of manifestation of feelings was twitching for pigtails)))

Such that she could say to herself "with him, like behind a stone wall." So far I have not found such a Hero, although I am making every effort to that, but in vain. I do not despair, I am not over 60, when everything is over. I'm young and I'm not going to despair at all, or … change my orientation. I'm just looking for …

Where do you roam, Man?