Why we love to gossip

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

We condescendingly talk about the boss's secretary: “Anya is our information center, she knows everything about everyone, tells everyone everything,” and we try to keep quiet in the presence of a curious girl, so that, God forbid, we don't say too much about ourselves. But discussing someone else with Anya is something we are ready to do during every lunch break. No matter how much we disown gossip and claim that all this gossip is not interesting to us, we should admit at least to ourselves: we love rumors, we want to be aware of someone else's life, and we have good reasons for that.

We know perfectly well: if not all gossip, then the absolute majority is for sure. And even despite this, we still continue to be ashamed of our passion for discussing the juicy details of other people's relationships, conflict situations and the appearance of a colleague from the next office. As a child, my mother told us: “Rumors are bad. You shouldn't talk about others behind their backs,”and we agreed, imagining how awful it is when someone else discusses us in the same way. However, as much as we fear being a victim of gossip, this fear does not kill our love for three hours of phone chirping with a friend and whispering in the workplace. Do not think that we are all ill-mannered people.

Gossip is the lot of both the absolute ignoramus and the intelligent person. Do not feed both of them with bread - let me savor something like that.

And, no matter how strange it may sound, each of us has our own good reason for trying to find out from a colleague the details of yesterday's corporate party, which we could not attend, with a conspiratorial air, and then tell our friends about them with passion. So why do we love to gossip so much?

We want to keep abreast of events

Gossip is not only a lie, sometimes from the most active representatives of "word of mouth" you can learn quite truthful and very useful news. Such gossip can even help us in a certain situation, for example, when applying for a new job. Imagine your first day in an unfamiliar office: everything is alien and incomprehensible, but suddenly a person appears who is ready to "secretly" tell you some information that will help you get comfortable much faster. Will you refuse such a gift of fate? Perhaps you will be careful, try not to talk too much about yourself, but learning something about others is welcome. Based on what you have heard, you will draw your own conclusions and mentally thank the one who presented you the necessary information on a silver platter.

Our life is not as interesting as that of others

Each of us has special ideas about what our ideal life should be. We carry a fictional backpack with us every day, filled with needs, desires and aspirations, and most of all we want all of them to be satisfied and fulfilled on time. However, not everyone succeeds in achieving heights in their careers, realizing themselves in hobbies and relationships and feeling that they are living to the fullest. That is why we look with envy at the successes of others and involuntarily begin to discuss other people's, so desired for us, achievements. Sometimes in conversations with someone we even belittle others' merits, thereby trying to console ourselves: “She was just lucky. Do not worry. It's a rather dubious success, just luck."

We also want our speeches to force others to turn to us again and again, we dream of arousing genuine interest.

We want to be interesting to others

We understand very well: people love to learn something new about their friends and colleagues. They are looking for piquant information even when they do not ask about anything specific, and are ready to listen for hours to a person who has "valuable knowledge". Gossipers very often attract the attention of their interlocutors, they catch their every word, are surprised, gasp, groan and constantly look for reasons for another interesting conversation. We also want our speeches to force others to turn to us again and again, we dream of arousing genuine interest and sometimes we find no other way than to tell unverified but fascinating stories. It is enough just to run into the office in the morning and say with a twinkle in your eyes: “Girls, but I just learned this! You all get out of the chairs,”- as colleagues will immediately abandon their affairs and turn all their attention to you.

Perhaps now you understand why you are so drawn to talk with your friend about something like that and why you keep listening to the conversations of colleagues, trying to catch something interesting and piquant. Whatever the reason may explain your passion for gossip, think about this: absolutely any psychological problem can be solved in several ways at once, and gossip is not the only "medicine". Do you want to attract the admiring glances of others? Why not take care of your appearance instead of whispering about your boss's Botox injections? Think your life is boring and monotonous? Paint it brightly instead of discussing other people's "pictures". Undoubtedly, sometimes gossip is very useful, but measure is important in everything, and even more so in such a matter.