Girlfriends: why are we losing them?

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

“We're losing her! Do something,”- this is how doctors shout in despair in Hollywood films, when the patient's cardiogram on the screen straightens into an endless line. Also, sometimes you are ready to scream, mentally or aloud, when your best friend moves away from you. You have been together for so many years, like Beavis and Butthead, like Ron and Harry, devoting each other to the secrets of the first kiss, the first "want" and the first "no".

Maybe your best friend even became your witness at the wedding, and, brushing away a tear that came, she was glad for your happiness, and then she caught the bouquet herself (after all, you were aiming at her!).

And suddenly the idyll collapsed. You suddenly quarreled unexpectedly over the most insignificant matter. Or you just felt that an abyss lay between you, from which the cold of misunderstanding blows.

Why are we losing our girlfriends? There are many reasons for this

Envy

Maybe she was jealous of your academic or work success. Or the fact that your parents put you in a reputable company with a familiar boss, and she has to sit on a salary that only allows you to exist, but not to live. Maybe she envied your gorgeous figure and your success among men. Or the fact that you dress with taste in fashionable boutiques, and she is stocked exclusively in second hand. Although, most likely, she is so angry because, despite the bouquet caught on the wedding day, she still has not married. They say correctly - be friends with equals. This is especially true of equality in material terms and in terms of appearance. It’s hard to avoid feeling envy when your friend doesn’t understand why you don’t buy clothes at Prada or go to a beauty salon to model your figure. There are two options: either do not poison your friend's soul, or part with her. Because the feeling of envy tends to overwhelm thoughts and break out in the form of rumors and gossip.

Resentment

Why did you tell her that the watercolor sketch she painted during the holidays in the country looks like the first drawing of a child who was given paints? Do you think this is funny? But you know how serious she is about her hobby. You helped her choose paints, brushes and even an easel. Sorry urgently! And never laugh at what your friend thinks is important, be it your passion for Tolkien, your dream of winning a Cleo competition, or your desire to learn how to fly an airplane. Accept her for who she is - and she will be grateful to you.

We went our separate ways

It’s very simple. You went to school together, sat at the same desk, giggled, cheated, skipped lessons. We went to the buffet together. Dressed like twin sisters. The physical education teacher (work or music), absolutely did not distinguish you, due to the same bangs up to the nose and backpacks with pacific badges sewn from old jeans. Of course, you only dreamed about boys, but you also had to think about the future. You entered one university, your friend went to another. You swore eternal loyalty to each other, agreed to call each other every day and meet on weekends, but …

She has five new classmates, and you have your first boyfriend. She began to hang out at fashionable discos, and you became addicted to walking along dark alleys, comprehending the science of love. When you broke up with your boyfriend a year later and she got bored with new friends, you finally met. And it turned out that you have nothing to talk about. More precisely, there is something to talk about, but everything is no longer so sisterly intimate and not so insanely interesting. You just became friends.

You can share a salad recipe by phone and meet in a cafe once a quarter. But to call each other at 1 am, because "he doesn't love me!" or "I just wanted to chat with you!" - no, thank you. Grown people don't do such nonsense. And you miss the real friendship that was in the past, in your youth. The question is if she is bored.

Jealousy

You don't have to be jealous of a man. You can easily be jealous of another friend. For example, there were two of you, and then SHE appeared. Now there are three of you, and your friend, who still considers herself the first and closest, is worried that you are now sharing your attention and free time not only with her. Here you need to talk and find out everything. Tell her that she is the best and nothing will ruin your friendship. And with the third friend it is necessary to make friends cunningly. For example, to agree to meet the three of them, and suddenly "get sick" herself. Let them chat, you see, and they will forget about you.

She was never a friend

And you were already delighted! You have so much in common: similar views on careers, children and men. She tells you about her unhappy love, you calm her down, advise her not to lose heart and remember a similar story from your life. And then it comes out of the black stripe and disappears somewhere. You are trying to find her in order to tell about YOUR unhappy love, or, conversely, about your successes and joys, but your friend slips away. She has no time, she is in a hurry, she forgot to call back. And after a while she again comes to you in black thoughts or just out of boredom, and is waiting for support. Don't you think she's just using you as a vest? And don't you feel like a squeezed lemon after a soul-saving conversation with her? At best, she's just not a friend, at worst, an "energetic vampire." I strongly advise against communicating with the "vampire". And with the first one it is worth talking heart to heart, perhaps she just never thought about your friendship with her and that you also want to be heard and understood.

Didn't share the man

Sometimes it happens. Especially in TV shows and show business. In real life - much less often. I trust my friends one hundred percent, but my wise grandmother continues to insist: “Hide your husband away from your friends, otherwise you know how it happens! I've taken Vasya, your grandfather, from under my sister's nose. Until now, we do not know her. " The grandmother is silent about the circumstances of the "withdrawal", otherwise I would tell, honestly.

You love

This is real love. This happens once in a lifetime. First, you report everything to your friend - the first date, the first confession. But then this quagmire, that is, not a quagmire, of course, but a maelstrom of love, sucks you in and … First you meet, then you start living together, then you get ready for the wedding, after which you settle in an apartment, and, finally, you wait for an addition to the family … when you, after all that has happened, accidentally meet your girlfriend on the street, you are sincerely surprised that instead of a boy's haircut, she has hair up to her butt, like a fairy. And a reproachful look. In this case, you yourself are lost as a friend. Be here urgently!

Girlfriends are insanely important, sometimes they are just vital. Even the most loving husband cannot replace your girlfriend. You won't tell him about him. But tell your friend, and put everything and everyone on the bones and shelves. And you will listen to her revelations. And together you will laugh and cry. And then you will have a glass of "Martini", indulge in a cigarette and shoot your eyes at interesting men at the next table, just for fun, so as not to lose shape.