What is not proof of love

2024 Author: James Gerald | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 14:00

We, women, are amazing creatures - sometimes we want to be loved so much that even in an act that does not even hint at any feelings, we see a manifestation of great love. And we are regularly deceived. Partly because of the need to feel needed by a man, partly because we are afraid of changes, because they will inevitably follow the realization of a simple truth: he does not love me. Be that as it may, but in the veil that obscures our eyes, there is nothing good. About what convictions can in no way be considered proof of his love - in the reflections of the author of "Cleo" Alexandra Dudkina.

I was always surprised and misunderstood by the humble behavior of some women: being clearly unhappy in marriage, receiving a daily portion of negativity from relations with her husband, sometimes leaving quite tangible marks in the form of bruises and abrasions, they still continue to live with him, convincing themselves and others that this is love. Or else: a young girl who has recently entered into a relationship with a man tolerates his flirting with others, sincerely believing that this is how he shows his feelings, they say: “I do this on purpose - I want you to be jealous. I don't need anyone else, believe me. Even these examples themselves seem crazy, don't they? But the fact remains: we take as proof of love the behavior of a man, which in no case is. Let's take a closer look at the situations in question.

1. Beats - means loves

The "truth" that has taken root in the heads of millions of women, in fact, has nothing to do with the truth. A loving person will never intentionally hurt the object of their love. Would you use these methods to prove affection to a child? Perhaps someone will say that sometimes assault is only beneficial, because a person does not understand otherwise. But the very fact that a strong man raises his hand against a weak woman (even if he considers it deserved) already speaks of a lack of respect for her. How many times do such “educators” (they think of themselves as such) motivate their behavior with the following: “This is from great love for you, dear. If I didn’t love it, it would be all the same. And so I show concern, I care. " On one forum I came across an interesting phrase: all this is nonsense for masochists. That's right, nothing more.

Output: assault is not a proof of love. Rather, on the contrary: only a man who absolutely does not care about a woman will beat her. Such men indulge their own "ego", and if it is hurt by any of your actions, they will try to correct the situation using available methods.

2. Jealous means love

Considering that jealousy is the most faithful proof of a man's love, and its absence testifies to his indifference, women deliberately flirt in front of the chosen one with his friends, buy flowers for themselves, "drive themselves" to the cinema and to cafes, and then they tell stories that the stranger called them "the most beautiful creature in the world." These women do not understand how happy they are, because living with a jealous person is another challenge. It is almost impossible for a pathological jealous person to prove that a colleague can call just for work. The suspicions of such a man sometimes reach the point of absurdity, and the woman does not know what to do, thinks about breaking off the relationship.

Output: jealousy and love are actually not as close as we think. Jealousy goes side-by-side with self-doubt, with the desire to completely and completely possess a partner, with the fear that you will be dumped because you will be worse than someone else. Love does not flow from jealousy; from jealousy, mistrust and a sense of possessiveness flow.

3. Having sex means he loves

Some women, for some unknown reason, decided that men could be tied to themselves with sex. They say, meeting under the moon is one thing, but if the relationship has reached a new level, then you can't get out of it - he loves. To some it will seem a little strange, while to others it will be frank delirium. While some stubbornly think differently, they don't even admit it. Sex for men is nothing more than sex. I'm not talking now about intimacy in a stable loving couple, I'm talking about that stage of the relationship when everything is just beginning. And often a man does not put any sacred meaning into physical intimacy at this time.

Output: the heroine of the TV series "Sex and the City" Samantha Jones preached "a man's attitude to sex" - slept and forgot. So is it worth considering that intimacy is something significant for the stronger sex, which is comparable to strong high feelings?

4. Flirting with others means loving

Such a man, of course, loves, but only himself. No matter how much he tries to convince you that all this is only in order to make you feel jealous, so that you understand how much you need him, because “he cannot imagine life without you,” you must always remember: everything it's a lie. No normal man will prove feelings in this way, and such excuses are an inept attempt to hide his interest in other girls and at the same time keep you to himself. At least for a while.

Output: If a man does not hesitate to flirt with others in front of your eyes, do not believe his ardent confessions. Most likely, this relationship will end very soon.